Okay, I give up! I surrender already.

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It hasn't been a good month. I had to play catch up with some bills, so I am short on cash. As per my previous posts, I am again loaning my friend money for food so she can get through the month. I fell and narrowly missed crashing my replaced knee but barked up the rest of me. And I peed on the cat. Then tonight. I was on my way home and was stopped by three young people. Their car had a broken timing belt. It wasn't going to go anywhere. I loaned them my cell phone and one of the girls called her father. He promptly had a frothing fit and was yelling at her. she tried to explain that she had been stuck there two hours waiting for someone to come along, but that didn't shut up her father. So she said she would call another friend to pick them up. She tried to reach the friend but the friend wasn't home. She called her father back and tried to give the screaming lunatic directions to where they were. I finally said that I would drive them to a meeting point so that her father didn't chance getting lost. I was also worried about them being out in the country for who knows how long. So after he was informed and they left a note on the car they piled into my car and I drove them to the meeting point. This was in an area with extremely poor cell phone reception! I dropped the young people off and headed home. I was about half an hour late getting home and the first thing I did was call my BF to let him know I got home okay. He tied into me for not calling him and letting him know what was going on. I apologized and he refused to accept it stating that it had happened too many times and too often. It has left me in tears!!!! As I wrote in the note for him, I am sorry I am NOT perfect. I can't crap money for people that need cash and help every time they call. I am sorry I didn't call him and that the reception for the cell phone is so piss poor. I am sorry that I can't be everything that everyone wants. I am tired, hurting, depressed, and now inconsiderate. I am trying to justify my existence here on earth. I haven't found much reason right now... I hate being a disappointment, and I guess in a huge way my father was right...he always told me that I was fat, ugly and stupid. I have really fit the stupid moniker! I guess I can crawl someplace and cry myself to sleep. My month has been crap so far, how has yours been?