The never-ending ex....

United States
October 8, 2009 3:48pm CST
How do you handle a troubling ex? Broke up over 3 years ago, after being together for about 7 years. I have moved on with my life and he is about to get married. He use to call every day at least two or three times a day, just to talk about whatever, a few times he has crossed that line, but I have since told him that I no longer want this kind of relationship, honestly I really don't want a relationship with him at all, we have no ties. If he wants to just check in and see how I'm doing then that's cool, but everyday is not necessary. Call it mean, I call it being real. He backed off for about a month but has since returned. How do I handle this? I don't answer when he calls and/or text.....
1 person likes this
7 responses
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
8 Oct 09
I think cutting ties with him is the right thing to do. If it's possible you may want to consider changing your phone numbers, that way it will really drive the point home.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (13045)
8 Oct 09
I think you are doing the right thing,but if it carries on i would tell him straight that you are not interested and that you think that his new love of his life would not like it.Tell him you are happy with your life and he should be happy with his,but you want to just be friends as in friends that chat just once in a while,like you do with your other friends.
1 person likes this
@shadow41 (2356)
• Philippines
9 Oct 09
Maybe you should try to answer his calls or text messages. Say that it's over between you and him. Say that you don't love him anymore. Make him understand that you no longer need him. That you've moved on. I think there's something that your ex wants from you if you know what I mean. Finish it up again. :)
• United States
21 Oct 09
Lol, thanks Shadow41, but no thanks...
• Philippines
9 Oct 09
hello natmo Why is he doing it in the first place? i bet he got his own agenda and that's why he kept on calling. i would be annoyed if a person does that to me. probably it's best if you should change your number so that he won't be able to contact you again. that's really something troubling
• Philippines
9 Oct 09
You said he is about to get married, right? So why on earth he keeps on calling you still? It seems to me that he is not yet over with you. He is like trying to win you back. If you don't feel anything about him anymore, then better tell him straight that you don't want him calling you that often. There is nothing to bring back anymore, it is over and you have moved on so he must move on too. Try to tell that to him straight and frank but don't sound like you are bragging or something. I know you can talk to him like that natmo_10. Remember the more you entertain him, the more he will hope--- the more he will get frustrated. If you happen to see each other on some place accidentally then talk as if you just know each other only. That's it. No need for him to check you every now and then. If after talking to him about your situation and he still keeps on calling you, I think its better if you totally ignore him by not answering his call or pretending that you are busy or not at home. Try to make excuses just to avoid him. If you don't stop it now, it will be harder to stop it tomorrow. Don't make him use to it.
@Hatley (164486)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Oct 09
hi natmo I think you are doing it the way most of us would. Also you might suggest to him that once he is remarried his new wife will not love having him call' on his ex wife all the time. she will soon resent it a lot, and this could mess up his new marriage.I think you should do as you are doing, just don't answer his calls. good luck.
@abhi_bangal (3686)
• India
9 Oct 09
Honestly speaking, I never had the problem of the never-ending exes. That is becuase, I think I am lucky. But as far as you are concerned, just ignore him. I read what your problem is and I think you just igonre him. Either way he is going to marry as you said. And when he is married once, then he will get involed with other things in his life and will slowly but surely forget you. Or at least forget that he wants to trouble you. Currently, he is not occupied with anything else. And that is why his attention is being driven towards you. Once that is over, you will feel relaxed and happy. Or if this doesn't end, just make a big thing out of this. Threaten him if needed. But don't bow down. Or you will be handled in the wrong way always. I hope this helps.