When people owe money why do they spend the money they have on things they dont

This is an old story. When people find they can get away with things then they do - over and over again. There's a need for discipline here. We can't all get everything that we want and if we practise life this way then when we really can't get things it will not be so hard.

if he wants stuff then he should earn it,my kids have to earn what they want,obviously i buy the necessities but they earn the extra stuff they want

That is your mother's problem, not yours! She needs to set up some boundaries and not help him and be co-dependent. If she wants to pay his way for the rest of her days- let her! Not much you can do. Alot of mothers do such things. Sadly, I was among them until I learned about co-dependecncy and how complex and hurtful it is.

Well, yes, I think you think the right way that your brother shouldn't keen on your mother's helping hands. =) Especially when he is an adult, and he is a man, he should stand upon his own feet. I know a lot of cases such as your brother's, well lets say experience rather than case. =) And the only way to safe your brother is to let him 'suffer' by his own, and don't give a place to lean BUT not hating or not considering him as a part of family. =) I hope your brother will realize how hard this life is.

Oh this sounds so familar and I'm the mother too. My daughter and her family can "afford" to go on a cruise then they are crying poor and I have to buy their food. They say they will pay me back but there is always an excuse. We shall see come Friday if I get paid back. When we mothers keep giving in its not helping them at all. Your brother brought the computer monitor like my daughter went on a cruise. Its crazy. Instead of saying their money and let it build up they have to spend every last dime.

It is up to your mother to tell him she will not pay his bills anymore. If she does not then there is nothing you can do about it. I would not worry about it then. When your mother gets tired of paying for his bills she will tell him. Let it be.

Well, I know some people like that too. One of my friends actually borrow money from his aunt to go to college. But he still wanted to buy high-end computer, and some luxury stuffs in college. Now, he has come out to work, and keep buying some luxury stuffs but without returning money to his aunt. I really do not understand how he can do that, as he's still owing someone's money, but keep spending money nonstop. We are predicting he is not going to return the money to the aunt, or he does not plan to do so?

Hi jugs, Well, I think everyone have their own desire and sometime they don't know how to control their desire for the needs and don't.

Hi Jugs. People like your brother will always spend frivolously, even when they owe already, for as long as others, like your mom, cover their behinds and baby them!! I hate it when someone owes me a large sum of money, will not pay me back, and then go out and splurge on luxeries! A hard way to learn NOT to loan to even to friends and relatives. One should be able to trust them, but this is not always the case. Karen

Sounds to me like your brother needs some tough love from his mother. We learn from what we get from our parents. I think your brother is just doing what he has done, and got away with, for a very long time.