I Write...

Australia
October 18, 2009 3:37am CST
It was a cold a silent night, the air was biting at my exposed fingers like a snake striking me with venom. I walked further down the street towards a flickering lamp post. I heard the faint sounds of barking in the nearby neighbourhood. I checked my watch, 2:12am, still early. I sat down on the bench and waited. I brought a wallet with me and there was a crisp and new bank note inside, I could tell from its smell the day I withdrew it from the ATM. I took out the wallet and inspected the note again for the umpteenth time that day, well the day before since it's was only 2 hours after zero hour. The note had a glint to it as the light from the lamp post reflected from it as I wrinkled and moved it in my hands. At that moment, headlights rounded the corner of the street and the shape of a Voltswagon (insert model here) came into view. I gulped. The car pulled up beside me and the windows were wound down. I got up from my seat and moved towards the driver. "Have you got the dough?", the man asked in a deep and hoarse voice. "Yeah... I got it right here. Did you bring the tape?", I replied. The man help up what resembled a video cassette tape in his left hand while his other was on the driving wheel. "Sweeeet!", I chirped. I held out the money in one hand and then the other hand expectantly waiting for the exchange of the tape for cash. This didn't happen though and the man ripped the note from my hand and hit the gas. My face turned from glee into horror as the man was stealing my hard earnt cash. In panic, I scanned the ground for a rock, found one, picked it up and threw it at the car. It missed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES!!!"
2 people like this
3 responses
@zed_k4 (17635)
• Singapore
20 Oct 09
This is quite a good starting story. Why not you submit to content sites which you can gain more exposure in that sense..
• Australia
21 Oct 09
That would be a good idea. However, it would be a good chance to get feedback on how my writing is and what improvements I could make. I hope you enjoyed reading my work.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17635)
• Singapore
23 Oct 09
I think you have a pretty good, narrative voice.. Good style of writing and clear usage of words. You should write more..
@mmbabymm (36)
• United States
20 Oct 09
very imaginative. I used to write many stories just like this one. but i lost my muse to do so a long time ago
• Australia
21 Oct 09
Did you enjoy it though? What made you stop?
• Philippines
18 Oct 09
I like the narration of your story. It's as if it's an excerpt from a novel.
• Australia
21 Oct 09
Thanks. I just tried to write a short scene for an opening of a story or something like that.