How much has to happen in a month............

Regina, Saskatchewan
October 23, 2009 11:06pm CST
......before you begin to wonder when the train of your life pulled out of the station without you on it? A few weeks ago, I spent just over a week in Toronto with my oldest son. I had gone back to be with him because we were afraid his cancer had come back. Thank the Goddess, that wasn't the case and we celebrated by going skydiving. But that's another story. lol During my stay we visited art galleries and museums and high end stores like Tiffany's, and hole in the wall book stores, where we found treasures and trash and all kinds of wonderful things. And of course, I have a story and a picture for each place we went. I miss living in the city and in the short time I was back in one of my favorite ones in the whole world, I made the most of it. Even hooked up for sushi with an ex lover. I've aged better than he has (haven't seen him in over 30 years), so that was a nice surprise. LOL And he's still single...................go figure! ROFL When I returned to my lonely Prairie home, my computer died a rather sudden death and for a couple of weeks I suffered worse withdrawal symptoms, than quitting smoking. Just a day after I got my new and highly improved computer, I received a phone call. I don't often answer the phone...............I prefer to let it go to voice mail when I don't recognize the number and get back to the calls later. But this one was different. Caller ID told me it was from the Government of Ontario. Oh hell, I thought.............they're gonna charge me for stomping on the instep of that insufferable guard at Tiffany's! Being a good citizen and oh so righteous in my anger at injustice, I answered the call prepared to stand up for my rights. Well take the wind right out of my sails! It wasn't the Attorney General's Office, it was the Adoption Registry. Back when I was a lass, my twin brother and I were adopted. I knew I had older brothers and sisters, I knew I was Irish, I knew my mother was dead and figured by now my father was too. Well it turns out, I was only right on two counts................I do have older brothers and sisters, and my father died in 1994. But gobsmack me into the next county, I am NOT pure Irish and my mother (who I thought had died of tuberculosis|) survived the disease and is now living in the U.S. Considering my own advanced age, she must be close to ninety. Seems we're a long lived clan............oh dear! lol One of my brothers, and one of my sisters are registered with the Adoption Registry and have apparently been looking for me and my twin for some time. I gave my permission for them to contact me by email and have spoken to them both. Seems my brother lives in B.C. and my sister in Alberta. I have been less than a day's drive from both of them for the past 9 years and didn't know it. We are planning to meet up in Alberta over Christmas. I have learned so much about my REAL biological roots, which explains a lot of my inherent dreams and wishes (like living and dying in England.............my father comes from Devon) the choice of my son's names (my oldest is named Devon), my mother comes from Ireland (county Cork as I always believed) and so many other things. I was also told that MS is prevalent in our family. This news I have to share with my twin brother............a man who refuses to admit that there was life before adoption at the age of 10. A man I frankly do not like very much for a myriad of reasons only a sibling could appreciate, but which I have not shared with mine..... Of course I also had to tell my adoptive parents as there were papers and things I needed to request from them. Being a coward and much more articulate in writing than in speech, I emailed them the whole story a week ago, but have yet to hear back from them. That worries me...... So for the past two weeks, I feel like I've been living the life a bigamist. One family here, another one there, and both coming together in my head and heart. I can't seem yet, to sort out my feelings about all this. I've been having the most confusing dreams and awake every morning and go to bed every night full of more questions than even my naturally questioning nature is accustomed to. One thing I am very sure of...................being adopted is often a difficult thing. Not the being adopted............the being an adoptee if you see what I mean. All of us, during adolescence, during mid-life, and for some, other times too, wonder about our place in life, our purpose, our identity. Our sense of belonging is so integral to our mental health. Being aware of having been adopted and accepting it and getting on with life, is one thing. Being adopted and getting on with life and suddenly coming face to face with your own living biological history is quite another. I keep telling myself, that at my age, I've had enough life experience to be able to handle, and come to terms with, just about anything. For the most part, I'm right. So the confusion and sense of unreality I now feel is very unsettling. Will meeting my siblings resolve these new issues that have colored my life? I don't know. And that's what scares me. WILL I be able to come to terms, accept and rejoice and find room for a dual existence? If I do, I greatly fear that I will be doing it alone as my twin has no interest and my adopted parents are just too old to absorb all this with equanimity. Well. At least this coming Christmas promises to be full of .................. many things.
8 people like this
24 responses
@camomom (7536)
• United States
25 Oct 09
I was not adopted but I think I know how you feel. My mother raised me and my sister on her own, even when my father was around. He was a drunk and he was abusive. Long story, short, He disappeared when I was 16. I'm 34 now. I've always wondered what had become of him, if I had younger siblings, if he remarried, if he ever even thought about us, what my medical history was, etc, etc...........I have even searched for him a few times via the internet. I found him in 2001 but was afraid to contact him or go any further with the information. I kept it to myself, never told my mom or sister. My mom didn't want to know if we ever came into contact with him and had mentioned numerous times that if we ever found him or he found us, she didn't want any part of it. My sister just didn't seem to care about it at all. In the beginning of this year, I got contacted from a long lost cousin via Myspace. She was looking for my dad. I had the strangest feelings. My emotions were everywhere. I immediately contacted my sister because I didn't want to contact my cousin back without my sister's blessing. I was happy and hopeful and sad and scared, all at once. We did decide together to contact her back. Turns out my dad was where I thought he was, in California, in 2001. He was there for a few years and then disappeared again. We had no contact with his family at all until our cousin contacted us. I had decided that I was going to pretend that he didn't exist and move on with my life and get to know the other half of my family. My mom is still getting used to the idea and my sister is okay with it. The bad part, I got married in June of this year. On my wedding day my mom received a phone call from a complete stranger trying to locate her from California about my father. He had passed away. After all these years, I felt very much like you are feeling now but with the added sadness that, Now, I will never get the answers to my questions. My advice to you, do what you feel you need to do in your heart and forget about everyone else's reactions. If I had done that, I may have gotten my answers in 2001. Get to know your family, for better or for worse. Don't let there be any regrets. Be honest with everyone about your intentions and make sure that your adoptive parents know what they mean to you and that you aren't trying to replace them. Maybe your twin will come around, maybe not but everyone has to live their own lives. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope they are even better then you expect them to be. Ask your questions too. Don't leave any questions unanswered. *HUGS*
3 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
27 Oct 09
Oh sweets, my heart goes out to you. It does take a certain kind of courage to reach out in such circumstances. A rejection would be so very very devastating.........so I do understand your hesitancy. In relating your own story, you've hit the nail on the head as to my own feelings. It will be easier for me, as they contacted me first, but still and all, at a time in my life when I shouldn't care what others think of me (and mostly I don't because I always try to be the best person I can be), I find myself a little concerned that I won't measure up.............so we'll just see how it goes, and depend heavily on my humor to see me through. lol
2 people like this
@camomom (7536)
• United States
28 Oct 09
I'm sure that you're even better then they expect. They probably feel the same way, not sure that they'll measure up to you. I'm sure that things will work out just fine for you. *HUGS* Just remember, they have questions and feelings too. Probably a lot of the same one's that you're having.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
25 Oct 09
Bless your heart, sparks, i'm sorry for your dilema but couldn't help but get tickled at u & your antics. Skydicing, stomping feet, u need to quit it, lol. i can't begin to know how u feel finding out your mom is alive & all the other things but i'm sure it has your mind in a muddle. I wouldn't begin to advise but just hope whatever u decide is a good thing for u.Keep us updated. U take care. jo
3 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
27 Oct 09
Gosh Jo, I hope my relatives have a sense of humor like mine or it could get quite sticky, you know? LOL I'll keep you updated for sure though.........wouldn't be me if I didn't huh? This is just too cool a thing to happen and NOT write about!
3 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
27 Oct 09
It's quite an amazing story, cat. I hope it all turns out well for u. U need to write a book about all this.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
25 Oct 09
Sparks first thing, you are not alone, you never will be in your time of need all it takes is an email, Gabs ring me, a shout here Gabs ring me, and you know I will be there like a Flash and I will listen to your Fears and anything you need to talk about I am glad though that you are finding things out about yourself , it will be hard the first meeting of course it will but it can only go 2 ways, good or bad, if it goes good, you have gained something in your Life if bad you have not really lost anything, you have still gained, as at least you now know some background As for the unreality, well it will be like that as you have not met them yet, for years there has been questions, no answers, now they are real, but your mind will not accept it till you have met them, do not let that worry you, that is normal, to you it is still a Dream, it has not come to you that it is reality yet and it will not until you have met them So just calm down, my wonderful Friend, you are not alone in this I wish I was closer but as I am not I will support you and be here for you all the way through it Remember you are a great and wonderful Lady you have a big Heart, and I know you will get through it, if they do not see you for who you are well then they are not worth your time and don't know what a good Friend/ Sister they are missing out on All it takes, Gabs ring me, and I will be there Love you my wonderful Friend you are very special to me and you know that and I know you will get through this
3 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
27 Oct 09
Right back at you Gabs. Thank you so much for being YOU. You have become so dear to me, and though I worry so about you, I know that you are there and you can be sure I'll reach out to you when I need to. I will keep you updated on how things go too. Today I found out exactly where my sister lives and it turns out that for years we were very close to each other and never knew. That's the worst thing about adoption...........you could be living right next door to a family member and never know it!~
2 people like this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 Oct 09
Wow, that's quite a story. I read it last night but was just too tired to respond. Of course the outcome is very uncertain as you have no idea what your siblings may turn out to be like after all these years. Heck, you don't like the brother you were raised with. This may turn out very differently. You could very well like both of them very much and build a great relationship with them. Wouldn't that be cool?
3 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Well from initial connect by email, they sound like lovely people. My twin on the other hand is his own worst enemy and always has been in spite of all the good things that came into his life. Some people are just never satisfied you know and have their priorities all wrong. My twin is like that and nothing has or will change him, so I just keep my distance from him so he can't hurt me any more. My newly found siblings are uncharted territory, but my heart is open and I don't judge until I'm forced to take a stand, so we'll see how it goes. Thanks for reading and getting back to this discussion dawn. Hugs.
1 person likes this
@royal52gens (5380)
• United States
24 Oct 09
Being an adopted child may have its blessings. You have the love of many. You know you are a wanted child. You are also one of the lucky ones who has been grace with the knowledge of who your birth family is. It is good that your siblings want to meet with you. I am sure all of this stirs some unusual feelings within you. Along with this experience comes medical knowledge that may be helpful yet disturbing. Enjoy the experience that has come your way. Smile. Embrace the moment that many other adoptee's never get to have. Count the blessings you have been granted.
3 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Yes I do, Yes I know, Yes it does, Yes I will and Yes I have. Thanks Mom.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Oct 09
Hello There Spark :-) So GOOD to hear about your son being OK ! Ahhh..the wonderful feeling of answered Prayers ! You certainly have alot going on there...take a deep Breath Spark, everything will work out fine. Who knows ..X-mas may bring more joy than you have ever imagined :) Big Hug, Liane
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Hi sweets.............how are ya? Thanks for the advice.....am breathing better now. lol Last Christmas I was all alone except for my dog as the kids are grown and gone and the hubs was working in the oil fields. This year certainly promises to be entirely different in many ways. What do you get someone for Christmas who is related to you but you hardly know? lol
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
25 Oct 09
Wow Sparks! When it rains it pours? Sounds like we're in the same area!! Where are you?! I have one huge umbrella for us to get under!! lol Wow gal!! You will have a lot to celebrate for during this Christmas!! I know, nerve wracking as a situation could be, my advice is embrace it and be yourself, you'll find your blood siblings more at ease when you are. Go with the flo and what happens happens. Everything happens for a reason so just be yourself and have a wonderful time!! I'm so happy for you!!
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
27 Oct 09
Thanks for the good advice Cats. Getting to know people by email is a great start. Look how you and I turned out?!!! LOL
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
27 Oct 09
Oh yeah, I remember..... lol Rough start with a smooth landing! What memories and examples we set, eh? lol
@taface412 (3176)
• United States
26 Oct 09
Wow there is a lot there to deal with and I wish you the best. There does come a point in life where we reflect on our families, upbringing and past relatives. Lately I have been thinking about my mother's side of the family and how we don't know much about them past my immediate granparents. My great grandmother back in the day was a diabetic and because it was just being discovered and the tests were let's say very basic....she went undiagnosed and was placed into an institution. My grandfather was orphaned at a very young age due to this and an accident that took his father's life. According to my mother he never wanted to speak of his parents. ANd his wife (my grandmother) I only know orginate I believe from England or around there. It is sad when you only have peices to fit together and hard to figure out where you stand in the scheme of things. I could not imagine the amount of thoughts running through your head right now. Good luck with it all and my thoughts are with you. And skydiving....ah I want to do this but am chickening out on the idea. How was it?
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
27 Oct 09
First...they skydiving was great. I've done it before, so it was a no brainer for me, but it was the first and last time my son will do it. He discovered he prefers to have his feet on terra firma at all times. lol I know what you mean about filling in the family history gaps......especially as we get older. I did the best I could to fill them in when my kids were growing up and answer all their questions, and actually, now I'll be able to fill my own history for them. We are great history buffs in my family and my sons will be thrilled to learn more about their 'weird' mom! lol
2 people like this
@littleowl (7157)
25 Oct 09
Hi Sparks, I am over the moon for you that you have finally found the rest of your living biological family, but do expect when you meet it will be on all parties a very mixed emotional meeting, am sure it will be a happy one though. We all think that we can handle things as we get older but sometimes especially in your situation it may be very hard for you and it may well be this time. Am so happy for you hun...hugs LoLo
• Regina, Saskatchewan
27 Oct 09
LOL, well I haven't found them all, but I'm working on it. I really thought my days of being knocked back on my knickers were over, and I pray I have the grace to handle this well......
2 people like this
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Oct 09
wpow sparky I know if I had been adopted and had a twin, and come upon all this new information like you have,I would also be thrown for a loop. I think that is only natural, myself.So your real mom did come from Ireland? my gr gr grandfather came from Derry Ireland many many years back with his wife and settled in Kentucky. And for so long before I found this out I had assumed my maiden name Clark was English. boy was I wrong. So you will be seeing your new family around Christmas. Well good luck for you. I suppose its sort of hard for your adopted parents to take in. I have a friend here who adopted a baby girl.Well now she is grown up and has told her mom she wants to find her birth parents. It has shaken my friend up really bad as she feels like she has been slapped in the face, that is the words she used to me. I tried to tell her a lot of adopted people feel they have something missing and just want to find out about who their real parents were.
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
27 Oct 09
My mom did, but not my Dad. That quite surprised me...........but it's all good either way. I'm still a Celt! LOL I'm glad you understood about people needing to know their roots as they grow Hatley. Many didn't. But if we remember our teenage angst, it's a given for most of us, adopted or not. I'm just glad I'll now have the chance to fill in so many of the blanks in my own history.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
24 Oct 09
I understand exactly what you are saying, but though I only know you from mylot I would say without a doubt you have been formed by life and circumstances into to a wonderful, strong person and would be a blessing to any family. If anything goes wrong, we are always looking for great new members in our family and I know it's to late for adoption but joining can happen anytime. Blessings, I'll be thinking of you.
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Aw Pat, what a lovely response and I'd be honored to be a part of your extended family, even if it's only virtual. lol Blessings to you too.
@SomeCowgirl (32266)
• United States
24 Oct 09
Wow that sounds like a lot of information to absorb! I think I'd definitely be very very confused right now on what to do... This is great though, your going to see your brother and sisters for Christmas. Are you going to be able to see your real mother? Oh and I do hope that the parents that adopted you are taking this well, you not hearing from them concerns me. I'd be quick to assure them that you love them and aren't leaving them!
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
My adopted parents know quite well how I feel about them and that that will never change. I'm hoping I'll have the chance to meet my bio mom though. We'll see about that. So as I said, Christmas promises to be interesting this year for sure. lol
@LadyMarissa (12161)
• United States
24 Oct 09
YOU CAN DEAL WITH IT SPARKY!!! You know you can!!! Fucckk the twin....HIS LOSS!!! Now you have a whole new group to get to know & pisss off!!! I hope everything comes together for you & you enjoy your newly found extended family. I'm sure your adopted parents are feeling very confused too. If you're having a hard time processing all this, can you imagine what fears they must be having at their age!!! Even though you don't think you are as articulate in person, maybe this requires a face to face so they can HEAR you say I LOVE YOU!!! I bet all they are thinking is that they are losing their little girl to her real family. A few assurances that they are still FIRST in your heart might help them some!!! You are a wise woman so I know you can deal with ALL this!!! CONGRATULATIONS & GOOD LUCK with your new (uhhh...old) family
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
I do NOT piss people off! Well not maliciously anyway! LOL As for the twin....yeah for sure his loss. I understand his attitude, but I don't like it, or him really. Sad but true. Rather think the bio family is better off not knowing him too well. Didn't work for me and I lived with him from day one! lol He's just so incredibly selfish and no one needs someone like that in their life............ I'll get all this sorted in my head soon. My adopted parents have a very long and loving email from me to mull over, and they KNOW that this new development in my life is going to make no difference at all to my feelings for them. I wouldn't be the person they raised if it did and I am DEFINITELY their daughter too and proud of it! I got very lucky with them and that's not something you just throw away, just because.......
@jerzgirl (8058)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
24 Oct 09
Woohoo!!! I'm so excited for you!! I imagine what you're feeling is similar to when I find a new branch to my family tree as I continue my lengthy search begun back in 1974. Seeking roots, meeting resistance in current family members (and I did), learning more about some of the whys and wherefores you never understood before. I think I can understand more than you might think. I've always hoped I found a missing sibling somewhere out there, even if it meant that Dad was sowing his wild oats on the side. Just because..... Congratulations!!! I'm really very happy for you!
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Well I've certainly had to revamp my sense of myself over the last few weeks. I can't seem to find the room in my head for anything else right now. So I hope things go well in December and this Christmas turns out to be one I'll remember with much joy. Thanks jerz..................
@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
24 Oct 09
Wow! Just Wow! That's a LOT to hit you with in a short time. I know that finding your biological family is a big deal. I hope they are all you could possibly hope for. I hope that your adoptive parents can accept that you weren't "looking" per se, but allowing yourself to be found. Knowing about your bio family is so important, much more important that was realized 20-40-60 years ago. No matter HOW much people tried to nay-say it, things are inherited and stuff that you can't remember can affect you. I'm thrilled for you. I worked for an adoption registry with the State of Texas for many years and I know exactly how many matches we made during that time, and you could count them on ONE hand. In fact, it was only AFTER I had been there for 5 years and over 10 years after its creation that the first match was made. I hope you find that your bio-family is all you could possibly hope for.
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Canada has had a very progressive policy in this regard for some time. The new privacy laws have kind of screwed things up a bit, but it was intersting to find out that the Adoption Registry also keeps a 'social history' of the bio families of adoptees, so they could tell me right away where everyone was and where they had been. Much more info than I thought they could give me. They even told me where my father is buried, what he did for a living, who he married and how many half-brothers and sisters I have from his marriage after the one to my mother. Seems she was married before him too, and so the brother that I've been talking to is her son from her first marriage. Good lord, at this rate, there will be blood kin of mine all over the globe by the time I'm done hearing about them all! LOL Thanks for the good words Elic.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
24 Oct 09
Honestly, it was a problem to actually get the registration complete, when I started there were only about 25 completed registrations, while there were a couple of hundred pending. You know, I got a call from a fellow that I knew as a child who I knew was adopted, and discovered that his (actually his and both his older siblings) records were there. I discovered that after the state removed them, the parents had another child and that one was shortly removed and placed - but of course I couldn't tell him that...
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Privacy issues can certainly work against adoptees and their families, and frankly, I think that's wrong. I like the way Canada handles it...........the choice is left up to the people involved and not enough info is given at the beginning to create a harrassment or stalking situation. But wowza, what you can learn before you get in touch with the seeker/seekee, is astounding.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (105453)
• United States
24 Oct 09
Well, spark, it is nothing if not interesting. I am sure I would be having wakeful dreams myself if I were in your shoes. Glad your son does not have a recurrent cancer. Hope meeting your family is not a curse, but rather a blessing.
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Hi Gert. Yep it sure is intersting. Very out of the blue too. And yes, I hope it's a blessing. So far I've learned that my twin and I (we were adopted into the same family) seem to be the only ones who had the good luck to be adopted by loving parents and had good upbringings. The stories of my brother and sister are not as pleasant and that breaks my heart.............. As for my son, yes, it's great news about his continued remission.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
24 Oct 09
Wow Sparks, this is some news! It is so very exciting to meet your biological family and at the same time I would imagine that it would be scary and nerve wracking. You must be going through so many emotions all at the same time! Finding out about your roots certainly would make some of the puzzle pieces fall into place I’m sure. I am not adopted but knowing my parents I often wish that I was...But that’s another story! Because I am not in your position I can only imagine how you would be feeling right now. I would be jumping out of my skin waiting to meet them. I am glad your son is okay and that you are back at home. Good luck with it all.
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Thanks Paula. Being adopted never bothered me. I remember too much of life before I was adopted, and in my case, finally getting adopted was the best thing that ever happened to me. It just feels kinda weird right now, at this stage in my life, being contacted by bio family...............
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
26 Oct 09
Wow Daffy, First of all. do you have MS? Now so many things we have in common. You and I are both twins. Mine is a sister. Much of the time I don't care for her very either but dealing with a twin brother who seems very bitter must be very difficult for you. I adopted my Son Matthew at birth. He has know from day one that he was adopted. I did my best to help him understand what it was all about. I believe his biological Mother was Bipolar which is why Matthew is Bipolar. His Dad and I have always encouraged him to locate his Mom if he chose to. So far he hasn't. At least that's what I think. I am so sorry your adopted parents are fearful of this meeting and the challenges it will bring to you. As you said, they are old? And the elderly don't do well with change and this obviously is a fear they have worried about all your life. It sure would help if your twin brother were there to support you as well as himself. I wish I could be there to help you with this. But being the person you are, you will handle this. As you said, most all your life you have wondered, been confused, felt as if something was missing in your life and wondered where you belong in this life. There is a reason you have had to wait this long and maybe it was because someone wasn't ready till now. who knows why but now you are about to have all your questions answered. Have faith in yourself sweetie. Everything will fall into place. You are about to begin a new chapter in your life. Try to relax a little and allow yourself to look forward to it all. Love You Leenie
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
27 Oct 09
You are a very smart woman Louie. Your son is a very lucky person. Just like I was with my adopted parents. They are in their late 80's now, and the last thing I want to do is worry them.................they've still not gotten back to me on this. But they will, when they are ready. I'm sure it's come as a real shock to them too at their age. And no, as far as I know I don't have MS. It's my sons I'm worried about in that regard and my sister is worrying about it too. I've always been incredibly healthy except for my bad back and a few bouts with cancer, easily dealt with. But you never know, when you don't have a proper family medical history to draw on.........Thanks for the encouragement. Love you too!
2 people like this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
27 Oct 09
What do you mean by a few bouts with cancer? Sweet Daffy, you always amaze me with your strength and wisdom. I would like to know more about your cancer if you are up to telling me. That is a subject you might want to share with your newly found family. The more information you all can share with each other the better. I had no idea that there was mental illness in Matthews background. I could have known what he was suffering with in his early years. When he found out he had Bipolar Disorder, he was so angry with me for over a year. He couldn't understand why I didn't know and why he had to suffer so much. It broke my heart that I couldn't have taken better care of my boy. He totally understands now thankfully. I am so looking forward to hearing all about your adventures. Love Ya Louie
@malamar (784)
• Canada
24 Oct 09
Your post reads like the lead-in to a book that I need to finish reading! What a tremendous amount to absorb all at once. I don't think this particular train has pulled out of the station, Sparks, I think it is heading out on a brand new venture. Please let us know how the next chapter goes, and all the best of luck to you.
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Hey malamar! Yet, my life is an open book and one I will write down one day. Thanks for the luck.......I'll need it. lol
@malamar (784)
• Canada
3 Dec 09
Hey there Sparks! Well, Christmas is right around the corner now. Have you firmed up the plans to meet your long lost siblings? Are we going to get the update soon? Enquiring minds (read NOSEY if you must) really want to know. Happy Holidays to you and yours
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
24 Oct 09
Hi sweets, that's a whole lot that has happened for you. I've always known life to be filled with so many unknown things; both expected and not. I know how nervous and more to wondering and perhaps feeling a bit lost as per your emotions currently, but I know that you are strong enough for this. You have a big heart, filled with compassion and I really do hope you'll be able to reunite with your family. Just remember that you have friends here whom care for you so much.
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
Aw handsome, you always make my day. Thanks for the insight and kind words. It's people like you that keep me believing in love of all kinds.............
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
25 Oct 09
Anytime, sweets...
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@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
24 Oct 09
feel for you so deeply. I think that it's right that you meet with our biologica family, You cannot d anything to influence your twin - that is his decision but maybe later he wil want to meet them. You adoptive parents need to be reassured on this too. They will need to be told that you still do love them. I would say go with an open mind and an even open heart. Do not judge. You were not in the shoes of your parents and do not know their heartache at giving you up. Very very difficult. I hope that this is one of the best Christmas' ever for you. and if it isn't what you expected it to be then at least yo have the satisfaction of knowing that you did meet them. Forgive your biological mother. Many blessings
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• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Oct 09
You're right about my twin, and I've accepted that he is who he is. Doesn't mean I have to overburden my own life with his selfishness though and I don't. It's his loss, not mine in the end. As for my adoptive parents, I have made it very clear that they are the people I owe my primary love and concert to and that will never change. I never judge and I hold absolutely no resentment towards my bio parents at all. Especially at this stage of my life. I've too much life experience of my own now to hold the circumstances of life and their choices against them. Blessings to you to cynthiann and thanks for the kind words.
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