how do you turn trials into opportunities?
By hotsummer
@hotsummer (13835)
Philippines
October 25, 2009 7:01am CST
This what i should have done a long long time ago. back when i was 24, my life came to a stop. i was laid off my job. i had no friends . my family was pushing me to have a life. i was always at home. no money. no one to talk to. i just left alone mostly at home to clean and take care of the house. it was such a big problem for me. and it still is the case . but back then i don't know how to go out by myself. i mean i can't buy my shirt by myself. i need my sister or little brother with me or some relatives to accompany to buy or choose dress for me. i was too dependent. very much unsure of myself. my self confidence was low since i was young. i had so much fear because i felt that no one loves me and i had no one to depend on. now i am much older and much experienced in life. i realized that i should turn my trials into opportunities since there was nothing else i can do about my situation. i tried to fight it, tried to find some temporary way of escape. but i didn't deal with my problem. and all i can say is it was just a waste of time to do all those different sort of things that didn't change my situation around but only prolong my problem and not 16 years later. i am still the same person before but things around have changed a lot. kids before back when i was 24 are now married and i am still single. ha ha. and time flies when basically you are doing nothing and just letting time pass by you. and i had so much regret and i had so many things i had not experienced in life. i had tried to go to starbucks. not able to watch movie with someone i really like. and other sort of things. i have so many disappointments. it is hard to get by when you have so many things you want to accomplish or do but there is no one you can do it with or accompany. going to malls alone is such a bore. i can't be with my relatives to go to the malls cause they have different set of friends and i am not one of those friends. i am just their relative. and with my family it does not go well every time i go out with family and of course i want to experience to go out with people i can really call my friends or close friends. if some people have all the bad luck, i can be counted as one of them in regards being so alone in life.
but now i am planning to turn things around, i know how to change it but the solution is pretty difficult as difficult and there is no way out of my situation but to face it head on. sigh. i could only sigh.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@complexkid (48)
• United States
25 Oct 09
It sounds like you just got comfortable with the way things were. Or perhaps, you fear change. Either way this can be a bit difficult. I am 25 and I feel like I am starting to be a recluse. I don't like to leave the house or go out into public. I don't feel like this is who I am and I am finding it difficult to accept. The truth is it is easy sometimes to just give in to comfort, because there is no risk in it. To get places the risks are necessary for forward progress.
@hotsummer (13835)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
were you like this even when you were young. i find it hard to accept change. i think any one in my position will really find it hard to change. i mean my family are very difficult people to be with. they are so perfectionist and like if you are out of line in terms of their standards that you will feel out of place and unaccepted.
i can't tell them my problems and basically i just keep all my problems to my self. so it is pretty hard to accept change and no one in my family are able to help me or guide me to accept change. or encourage me. anyways, it is very hard to live alone. i had some people that were willing to help but i didn't see their good motives and ignored them and so i blew my chance of having good people around as my friends and i didn't have any one to help me. if only i recognize them as good people to be friends with i will be much happier now in life or i will tell different story on how beautiful my life is. life without those good people made my life such a hell. i can live life without much money but without good friends to depend is such a hell.
@zhangfzoe (432)
• China
26 Oct 09
It is a little risk to abandon the place you are comfortable at. But after that, you will discover a totally different life style. So many interesting things and exciting things are waiting for you. Come on! Don't give up the descision to get a change.
@hotsummer (13835)
• Philippines
26 Oct 09
thanks. i don't want to give. it seems there is no other way to go but forward and get on with whatever is left with my life.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
25 Oct 09
Hi hotsummer, It's good that you are planning to turn your life around and I hope that you don't become discouraged and give up again. Try to develop a more positive attitude and keep reminding yourself that you know you can do it. We all need a friend and there is no doubt someone out there for you. Don't give up on your happiness. Blessings.
@hotsummer (13835)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
thanks for the encourage. i should really make it this time to change my life around as i am not getting younger. i don't want my story of my life just to be the same all the time , misery and loneliness and nothing more. i want to add some spice to my life and somethings that will fulfill the desires of my heart.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
25 Oct 09
You sound so lonesome which is really sad because there are so many good and single women out there that are in the same situation as you are and wonder where are all the good guys at! You should join a church group or what ever religious affiliation you are and some other clubs so you can meet new people and make new friends. Also, there's dating sites that you could join in hopes to meet someone that compatible to you and the type of gal you'd like to have under your arm. I hope this helps some for I know how you feel for I've been there and done that too. I'm just a family member, not a friend to my brothers..... if that.
@hotsummer (13835)
• Philippines
26 Oct 09
yeah it is hard to be alone many times. just like now, it is again my problem how to endure this day being alone. i just try to entertain myself again just to forget my sadness. thanks for the post.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
You felt alone becoz you choose to be left alone.
Reading your topic,as what u have stated,you had your family and relatives but they had sets of friends excluding you.
I guess you just need to come out of your shell.
You were hiding inside yourself,no self confidence...insecure and dependent.
There is always time for the right time.
And since you realized how much time you wasted with your self pity drama,now you need to run to meet ends.
It's not yet too late to embrace the new you.
Go,and make life worth living.
Search the world for a better you,and you will find that you missed half of your life now.
@hotsummer (13835)
• Philippines
26 Oct 09
it is not i didn't try. i just meet a lot of people who just disappointed me. i just am not good in choosing the right friends i guess. friends, i don't mean my same age only. i choose friends much younger than me to much older than like old enough to be my parents. but they all disappointed me. friends old enough to be parents were as pain in the butt as the younger ones as well. as they were too dependent like they need or want to borrow money many times cause they need to help their kids etc etc. anyways, i did try to find real friends, i did have some friends but being jobless it is harder to gain permanent friends. anyways, yeah i missed half of my life. it is not because i did pity party since i was young i lose friends. it is just i end up with wrong people.
