What would you do if someone underestimate your ability???

Indonesia
October 26, 2009 10:25pm CST
I have a friend. She likes to underestimate someone below her ability. She is very beautiful, smart and has a good positition. One day she asked me to do something relating my job as a translator. But, when she receives my work she underestimates my ability to translate, she mocks me. I don't know what to say... anyway she is my boss and my friend. So, I just keep silent and dissapointed. So, if this happen again, what should I do?
21 responses
27 Oct 09
If she can mock you like this she is not a true friend, i also had a friend like this and well she is no-longer a friend as i learnt to not let her get me down. There is always going to be people in the world who think they are better than anyone else. If i was you, i would find another job some-where else, shes not a good boss if she made you feel this way. If your work wasn't correct, there is better ways to explain this than mock your ability.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
27 Oct 09
Hi diddldonna: i completely agree with your advice. I know how are those friends that thinks they're the best and never value your work. They're with you for their own advantage but will never help you when you are in need. It's probably that this is the case and nobody deserves to be treated like this.
• China
28 Oct 09
If I meet this situation,I think I can keep silent!But in my heart ,I will make a plan for myself,and I will do what I should do for my best!As the saying goes"Actions speak louder than words.".I will make myself stronger as soon as possible!
• Indonesia
29 Oct 09
Yes,I agree with you... Nothing to talk about it. Better to act than to talk a lot.
• China
29 Oct 09
Yeah!It is very right!Have a nice day!
@edujccz (929)
• Philippines
27 Oct 09
Your action of keeping silent is perfect, she is your boss unless you wanted to resign. Listen to her critics, why you said that she mocks you but maybe she is telling you something. there are things that we think we are right but wrong in the eye of other. being patient to listen is learning. good luck with your boss
• Indonesia
28 Oct 09
thank you .. next time she does like this again may be I will ask second opinion from the expert. In order to know if she is telling me the truth or just want to underestimate me.
@edujccz (929)
• Philippines
28 Oct 09
It is hard to work with a friend specially if she is your boss. In a working area, the friendship should not be considered when a boss is craving for an excellent result. As an employee, any comment in your work will be seen as insulting your capability or mocking as you say, but it is normal to a boss to seek perfection. it is better to work to somebody but not to a close friend.
• Philippines
27 Oct 09
I think she really did not mock you. Maybe it was more of a positive criticism. Take it as a way to challenge your ability. If she is your boss, then it is her right to criticize you. As a friend, tell her if you were hurt by her criticism. But make sure that what she is saying is really just a mockery and not the truth. Sometimes we don't see our mistakes, our shortcoming. Isn't it that we need a mirror to see if we look okay. The people around us are the mirror to help us realize our mistakes, our good traits and our success. They are there to help us realize it but never to shove it in. It would still depend if you accept it or not. If you choose to be silent, then do your best and show her that she is wrong. If you choose to be vocal about it, let her understand your side but take her criticism as an advice. Sometimes a person mocks another person's work because they are challenged. He/She expected so much that when he/she thinks you did not meet his/her expectation, his/her disappointment or relief become a mockery of your work instead. Just come to think of it, you pose a threat or challenge in the first place to her that is why she has to check if your ability did surpass hers or not. So just do your best. Let her see that you do excel in your field. Friends or not, boss or not, your ability should never be gauge by others but by the quality of the end result.
• United States
3 Nov 09
I agree. Nobody is perfect, and everyone has flaws. But the beauty of life is that we can forgive and forget, and make more of life than anyone else.
@getbrowser (1715)
• China
27 Oct 09
If I meet such a situation smoeday, I will remain silence. In my opinion, remaining silence is a wiser choise other than arguing with others. People often hold the idea that well done is better than well said. So, I will work hard and spare no efforts to do a better job. If I can a better job, then others will keep silence. You know, action is eloquence.
• Indonesia
28 Oct 09
you know...I choose to be silent because I respect her as my boss. I don't like to be angry with her. I am going this experience as a valuable thing in my life that friendship and working is two different things.
@nawanta (328)
• Indonesia
27 Oct 09
Just be strong. Believe in your self and your abilities. You don't have to agree what people say about you, wether you're praised or criticized. No one can hurt you without your consent. Cheers
• Colombia
27 Oct 09
Hello ... What a nice comment ... I totally agree with you ... nobody is mounted to you if you don't bend your back ... On the other hand, I think the nexttime that happens to you, you can say because apart from being your boss, she's you friend, so I think that the friends we can say things in front and respectfully ... express to you didn't like the attitude that was offensive to you, it isn't the first time it happens. Remember to be assertive when to speak, to avoid damaging the relationship or lose the friendship, but if you make clear your position. A hug!!! ... Blessings!!!
@lindiebiz (1013)
• Canada
28 Oct 09
As your boss there is almost nothing you can do about it unless you report her to her boss but as your friend, you can tell her how you feel about her behaviour and ask her to change her attitude towards you and your work
@zhangfzoe (432)
• China
28 Oct 09
You should believe yourself. If next time,she asks you for help and without the payment to translate, you refuse it gently.If she can't understand why you act like this, you can explain to her. If she is your true friend, she will understand you and apologize to you for underestimating to you.
@gunagohan (3415)
• India
27 Oct 09
the next time, you you just tell her, please don't under estimate me in very cool and soft voice...almost she will listen to you, and give her a chance, if that happens again, you don't mind quitting the job ...you should have some pride for yourself, not much , you should have self respect...if you get disappointed the next time, tell her in soft, if happens again quit the job, happy mylotting..
@Bloggership (1118)
• Indonesia
27 Oct 09
I could say that underestimates was the same as critics to anyone. The dark sides by the effects is when others starts to hate when they were being downed by someone. But the brights one is when others start to realize their low abilities and begin to be better than ever.
@weasel81 (2502)
• Australia
27 Oct 09
she probably didn't relise you are as good, she must of also needed some help if she got you to do it. my work mate has not seen me do anything, out side of where we work. so when he asks about my day, and i tell him he doesn't believe me in what i get up to at my parents place. so he will get an ear full of me about it. i know many can not be like that, as you'd get in trouble at work. try talking to her about it.
• Mexico
27 Oct 09
Hi riani: you must be a very patient person to deal with your friend. I won't say anything at that moment but when she asked me again for a translation i would ask her: "excuse me, i'm not sure if i have to do it, i think you don't like my job according to what you've told me". If she don't feel embarrased for her attitude you can't consider her a friend. Have a nice day.
• Philippines
27 Oct 09
Are you sure she's your friend? Bosses are sometimes like that but friends... I mean real friends will never put you down. Anyway, take that bad compliment of her as a constructive criticism. Prove to her that you are not what she thinks. You really cannot answer her back if you two are in the office but when you are outside, maybe you should talk to her and tell her your feelings. Tell her also that it is not good to be tactless all the time. She should be sensitive to other feelings as well. If under estimating is part of her already, she should at least say or show appreciation as well to others who did well. It should not be always negative.
@sblossom (2170)
27 Oct 09
I had same experiences like you have now. I had one boss like your boss who always underestimated others’ abilities. I think mostly because he’s not very confident especially when he reached a higher position he is afraid to be replaced by other colleagues, or people would consider he’s not qualified to his position. Of course some people are like that by nature. It’s also very annoying. If I were you I would not like to say anything at the moment. Remember as she’s your boss she must have some ability stronger than you. Maybe you don’t find it out. One day when you have achieved higher position in your field you can say something. However at the time I suppose you already forget today’s worry. Take it easy. It’s a part of works. Just do your best to do work. Others opinions are not important.
@solared (1210)
• United States
27 Oct 09
Show them up, thats a easy answer, when I played sports an someone underestimated me, that was my motivation to be the very best an give my all, an sometimes it was blood an sweat an bruises, outplayed everyone who underestimated me shown up the baseball team the football team the basketball team. So the answer to your question is you show her up, is it bragging no, but what you want to be respected an not looked down on. In the work place they underestimated me to, an so I shown them up, out worked them all even the one in charge until I became in charge, an I never let anyone out work me.
@chris33 (24)
• United States
27 Oct 09
It sounds to me like she has low self-esteem. Why else would she doubt people around her? You say that she is also your boss. Maybe she is afraid of losing her position in the company. Many people that act that way are trying to cover up there own insecurities. You might want to tell her that you know that you are capabale to do your job and that it does bother you when she treats you as such. Friend or not, it is not right for people to act as if your work is below par if it is not.
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
27 Oct 09
I have been mocked so many times in my life its impossible to count. Also, she might have been teasing you. Anyway, people underestimate me all the time. Right now I'm in a job where al my 20 years of experience counts for nothing. So this is not a new experience. I know how it feels. And, I should tell you, it might be encountered anywhere.
@niuniu1 (166)
• China
27 Oct 09
keep scient,action speak louder than words.if she does underestimates your ability,she'll find one day.just do what you should do,and do your best.don't cencern what she said,waht you should do is to learn more ,and do better.
@ybong007 (6659)
• Philippines
27 Oct 09
Take it as a challenge to do even better with your job. If what she told you is true then accept it a positive criticism and one day prove to her that she's wrong. The next time it happens and if you don't like her comments then be honest of what you feel and tell her maybe she can even give you tips on how to do your job even better. Cheers!
@dianmelydia (2272)
• Indonesia
27 Oct 09
Personally i never care if someone underestimating about my ability, especially if that person is not a capable and smart. I think such people is loser. I believe if someone can value our ability, that's mean that person is a good and smart person who really understand about human differential matter. We all know that there's no one will be same with other people. Such thing makes our life colourful. If your boss is the person who underestimating you on your work place, i think your boss is not a competent and capable boss. A good leader should give good example so they can get more power and show more performance for success together. Good luck and have a nice day. Happy mylotting.