what's wrong with falling in love with a prisoner?

@AyE_88 (13)
Philippines
November 6, 2009 11:36am CST
I never thought I would experience this very hard consequence in my life, yes its true that if we really fell in love everything is unconditional. It seemed like its not me giving way of the feeling that I have felt before. I was never going to give up I said, I have found everything in him, but the problem is...he is a prisoner!! I cant help but get hurt each time I remember that past that I have with him, Im so full of love, joy and all...Which Ive never experienced from a free man, but as like the old story goes I have to forget everything and live him, because I know my parents wont be happy to know that I was with a prisoner and I am sacrificing myself just to get to him... The only thing that's left to me now is our memories, the happiest memories Ive ever have for 22 years in my life..And that question that pushes me to answer but I cant.. What was really wrong with falling in love to a prisoner?? Did Ive done the right thing? Or is it just because Im a coward to fight for the relationship... (heartBreak)
2 people like this
13 responses
@jbrooks0127 (2330)
• United States
6 Nov 09
You have not shared much of your background with him. How did you meet? Did you know him before he went to prison? Has your only contact with him been via the Internet? If the only contact you have with him has been the Internet then you truly do not know him. He may indeed be all he seems but you do not know that you only know what he tells you. Another thing is that when a man is kept away from women they can become very loving indeed if they have any kind of contact with one. How he would be when you are actually together makes all the difference. You have a legitimate concern about your family. And they do too. The stigma of having been a prisoner will be with him the rest of his life and may indeed restrict him as to what he can do. Another thing to consider is...why is he there? What was his crime? That is sooooo important to know. There are many in prison that are truly good and decent men that got caught up in something and let it happen. They now know it was wrong and will never do it again. Determining if he is one of those is paramount for you to know what to do. And you can't just go by what he tells you because there are many men who will never be any good but can put on a great show. You have many questions to ask yourself before you ever commit to this, if you do. It could be the best thing that ever happened to you or the very worst. You are very young yet. I remember so well being your age and how many times I made a decision that I would never make now. None were major mistakes, thank God, but this could be for you. DO NOT let your heart be your guide on this. You must know beyond a doubt what this man is like before you even consider making this jump. You may have heartbreak now but your whole future happiness will depend on you making the right move here. If you have a very close friend...talk it out with them. Get a different perspective. If that will not work you may want to consider talking to your parents. If they have been good and loving parents to you they will only have your best interest at heart. Sooner or later you must face them anyway. You may be very surprised.
@AyE_88 (13)
• Philippines
6 Nov 09
thanks for your kind advice. Actually we have met during my college years i am currently a student and it was part of the project for us to know the different kinds of people in every major kind of ultimate situations. Those who were in places that one could never imagine, and yes weve met there, i was quite very young at that moment, im currently 18 years old and he was 30, he was never really a part of the crime he's just one of the accessories. And because of my curiosity I did researched about his case and there I have asked a lot of things and a lot of people who knows about his case. The problem with him waS that the family of the real criminal was protecting there family member. So as time passed by he was staying in jail, not yet given the real score if guilty or not... Yeah, I was there..that guys without girls for a long time becomes more sweet when they meet one. but then in the prison there were a lot of girls, specially those who were visiting there relatives. Maybe then if I still continued my relationship with him it might ask more risk from me and my family.... I guess Im still up to something till now, might be looking for someone to be with... THanks!
@shadow41 (2356)
• Philippines
6 Nov 09
Hello. If you don't mind I would like to know where did the two of you meet. Your situation is really hard for everyone especially for you. You know your parents won't be happy with your relationship with the one you love in prison that's why you choose to leave him right? It will also be very hard for your boyfriend because for sure he had found love and hope in life from you. But you're still young. Time is the best healer in this situation. I do hope someday you'll get over your boyfriend. Again, you're very young and you'll experience love or great love again sometime in your life. I think what you did was the best for your future. shadow41
@syndrix (475)
• Malaysia
7 Nov 09
"Aye_88" if you don't mind can you please tell us the whole myLotter how your relationship with these prisoner started? Hope you can share it with us and please don't be ashame your identity is still unknown to all of us. In addition to "shadow41" you are right time is the best healer and I think you she is still young. It is really unfair for "Aye_88" to fall inlove to a guy who is in prison I think there are so many guys that deserved for her love.
@checapricorn (16076)
• United States
7 Nov 09
There is nothing wrong with that, it your love to each other is genuine, LOve waits but you are still 22 and there will be a lot of changes in your life and feelings.... If you are meant then time will come that your path will still cross but I guess this time, just focus on whatever you are doing, explore life and do not keep those memories hinder you of enjoying the present life!
@bonbon664 (3480)
• Canada
7 Nov 09
I don't get it, I think there's a whole lot wrong with loving a prisoner. I think a woman who does this must really lack self esteem thinking that this is the best thing she can get in her life. I think woman love this type of man because they know that he can't cheat on her and she'll always have him.
@mariposaman (2968)
• Canada
7 Nov 09
If you think you are going to reform him think again. He will probably be following a life of crime and dragging you down with him. there are certain women who are drawn to prisoners, I guess it fills a need inside of them. Just like you they apologize for their crimes and things the man is not that bad and all he needs is the love of a good woman and you think you are the one that is going to reform him. You should take a good look at yourself and ask yourself what is it about this man that is 12 years older than you are and is a criminal, that you find so attractive. I guess you find him attractive because he is the bad boy and therefore exciting. I assume you have already had children with this man so you are stuck there for the rest of your life.
• Cambodia
7 Nov 09
It doesn't matter to fall in love with prisoner. Love is love, not caring about the status. But pleas think about the consequence you will get! If you can tolerate with it, it's ok for you.
@rickiely (257)
• Australia
7 Nov 09
Hello AyE_88, i would like to tell you a true story which was based in Australia. There was man, who was considered a psychopath, he was claimed to have murdered several people. A nurse was assigned to assist in his recovery of a mental illness. They spent long periods of time together and this drew them closer and closer. Eventually the prisoner was bailed out and they got married happily. Whenever she left the house, her husband would get very cautious, and cared much about her it was scary. Once, when she had left for a few days, his mental illness started to fade back, it was then he started again to kill. This really happened, though the man truly loved this women.
@reco13 (605)
• Philippines
7 Nov 09
There is nothing wrong in loving a prisoner. Although you should know that we have a law which must be implemented. I guess you both just have to wait for the right time. For the mean time, I believe, you must live your life to the fullest and enjoy. You're still young and you should not sacrifice yourself.. You may enjoy even he's not with you, right? You may still visit him though. Think of the positive things this may be for both of you, like when he's out, he may have been better than before, or he is already more responsible. You will also find happiness with him if you really are destined for each other... So stay happy friend! :)
@tjt8367 (23)
• China
7 Nov 09
Your story reminds me of the Prison Break,in which sara and scofield 's experence impress us. But we all live in the real world.Of course,you have two chiose,waiting him or give up.It is you not others to choose.Once you choose waiting ,you should withstand your decision?
• China
7 Nov 09
waiting him or give up . that is very simple
@getbrowser (1715)
• China
6 Nov 09
true love - As long as you really love him, it is unnecessary to pay much attention to the opinions of other people.
Nothing is impossible. I mean there is nothing wrong with falling in love with a prisoner. As long as you really love him, it is unnecessary to pay much attention to the opinions of other people. As you have said above, you are so full of love, joy and all with him. So, although your parents will be angry with it, your friends may be get shocked. But if you have fallen in love with him and try your best to persuade others not to stop you loving him. Then, I believe all the voice of the opposition will be down sooner or later. Wish you success. Happy everyday!
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
6 Nov 09
It doesn't matter how you met! It means nothing that you were happy before he was locked up. The point is he knew he was breaking the law, and he knew he would be leaving you alone if and when he was incarcerated. The total blame for this situation rests on his shoulders, and there is an old saying that is Very true it says, " Once a con, always a con! You can look forward to more of the same as long as you remain with him. Be smart and save the rest of your life! Forget this Jailbird, and get out there, and meet a decent man who can be with you and make you happy for the rest of your life.
@borhan (1345)
• United States
6 Nov 09
There is nothing wrong with this. Love is not made only for free guys. Yes, i also surprised with your this episode. But life is a peculiar place. Many things happen here which does not have any explanation and cannot be explained logically. Your sacrificing part is great. I am saluting you for this. Have a great day.