Travel without the kids

@vingyan06 (2489)
Malaysia
November 8, 2009 2:32am CST
I will be going for a short trip next month. This will be the second time I travel without my hub and my kids. The first time was when my elder kid turned 3 months old. We left her and hubby a way for 5 days. It was difficult at that time for me because I was the first time away from my baby. Coming next month will be difficult for me again. I think this time it will be even more so because I will be away for my 2 kids! I haven't tell the kids that I am going to leave them with the granny. I think they have no problem staying at my mother in law house as they always go there for sleep over. Am I worry too much or I am not... Will they cry every now and then looking for me? Will my in-laws be able to handle my 2 kids when he throws his super tantrums? What if my kids get sick while I am away? So many questions in my mind. So much anxiety and yet so excited about my trip!Mind to share your experiences when you first left your child for a long period of time? I really need some advice?
2 people like this
12 responses
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
8 Nov 09
Well now, it is no one else's responsibility to take care of your children and no one loves your kids as their own mother. That being said even though everyone needs a break, it is so selfish of you to think is okay to leave your kids behind with your inlaws none the less to take care of them while you go on your personal fun trip. What ever posses you to think is ok. Now you are wondering and looking for advice about that? Your kids look to learn from you and you are teaching them to abandon you and their kids when they grow up. You need take them with you if you want to go else make plans to include them not leave them behind.
2 people like this
@drannhh (15044)
• United States
8 Nov 09
Climber, how do you know she is going on a personal fun trip? She might have to go to make arrangements to care for a sick parent or on some necessary assignment from her work. She could be employed in health care and have special skills and have to go to save a life. She may have and illness herself and have to travel to see a specialist for necessary care. It could be anything, so even if you were right, don't you think we should withhold judgment until we find out? I would like to think the father loves the kids as much as the mother, but for some reason society often makes the claim that the father's work is more important than is caring for children. And for some reason a lot of fathers seem to agree. I wonder what THAT teaches the kid!
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Nov 09
How do you know she isn't? Regardless, what makes you think anything else should more important then your kids? Such that its okay to have to leave them behind? If has any doubts they will be ok then she should take them with her or change plans. God forbid something happens to her they will end up being without her.
1 person likes this
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 09
Hi climber, Yeah, I know some people will think that it is selfish to leave the kids away and go for a personal fun trip. Yes, indeed it is a self fish of me, going to travel without the kids. I hope I am not going to show them the way a mother abandon the kids. I hope they don't think this way. Some times, being a mother we have no choice but look after the kids for 24 hours a day. We sacrifice all our time to the kids and family. Can't we have a few days of ME TIME for my self after a long time or tiredness motherhood. Normally We could not hang out with friends freedomly, we could not go where we want to go. So I am going for few days break, I hope my kids are okay with it, who knows they also want a break so they can enjoy more their own time with the grand parents.
@lemonjude (105)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 09
For the coming short trip we going, it is not my first time I'm leaving back the kid, but first time leaving back hubs and kid...haha. First time when me and hubs went for a short trip, we left the boy with my mum. I can say that I miss him very much and keep thinking of him whether is he ok without me at night. I even couldn't sleep well on the first night and keep checking my mobile on his pic..LOL! The 2nd times we left him for a week and I don't have such missing feeling that lot anymore or just to say I less worried..coz I can call them anytime to make sure the kid is ok..and need not to worry as they are in my parent's hand and they know the boy well too. We really need a break to do something we like and something to refresh us. Just make sure everything that the kids need are with your in-law and all things are arrange properly and told before you leave. I think that, sometime it is good, when we off the pic for awhile. It can be a good chance for the hub to learn to handle kids, else they hardly feel sometimes how hard and how tension are we mummies when handling kids.. Don't worry, we will sure have a splendid holiday..
1 person likes this
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 09
Hi Lemonjude, So happy to receive your response! I know with your accompany, our trips can be a nice one! True enough, I have to settle and prepare all the things for my kids before I leave them for my mother in law. From clothes, home wear, pyjamas, some useful medicine, diapers, and their bottles. Sometimes My kids go to my mother in law house for sleep over is just during weekend, the most is 2 or 3 nights, and I haven;t dump my all 2 kids together for her. So this will be the first time. I hope my mother inlaw can handle them very well and I hope when I am back, my 2 kids are given back to me healthy and cheecky!
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
12 Nov 09
Dear lemonjude and vingyan, Where are you all going, can I tag along? I left my son to join my ex-colleague and her friends to Beijing, China when my son was 4 years old. This group of friends has an annual ritual to travel overseas without their hubs and children - ladies only and we really enjoyed ourselves very much! I left my son at home with my mum and hub. I do missed him since he was very attached to me till today. You have prepared well, no worries...just enjoy yourself. I believe they enjoyed being pampered by their grandparents too. Their bonding will be closer, time passes by very fast. Without you realise it, they are back in your arms again. Just give a call daily and happy holiday to both of you ~ Lemonjude and Vingyan
1 person likes this
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
15 Nov 09
Hi Iriene, Thanks for your encouragement! Me and Lemonjude will be away for few days only, I hope the kids of us really enjoy being place at grandparents house. If you want to join us, give me a call, ! We are going to our neighbor country only, not somewhere too far. We are now busy searching on what places to visit, .
@edujccz (929)
• Philippines
9 Nov 09
my wife and I left for Singapore this Oct for 5 days and those issues are the common question before we left. My eldest is now 18 and the youngest was 3 yrs old. The eldest said he can manage everything and it was. In singapore my wife had to call the house from the time they woke up and until they are asleep, and its really funny but everything turns okay.
1 person likes this
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 09
Hi Edu, You and your wife went to Singapore for vacation without bringing your kids? If my kids is 18 years old, I will bring her along for travel. Your wife is so thoughtful, I think she must be missing the kids when you were in Singapore until she keeps calling them.
@edujccz (929)
• Philippines
16 Nov 09
We are planning to go back in singapore this december abut this time we will bring all the kids with us , seven in all. see you some time in kuala lumpur
@cwong77 (2011)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 09
hi vingyan.. having a repeat honeymoon? Anyway, I am here to just wish you having a nice and enjoyable holiday, as I am one of those mummy that I am still unable to leave my baby behind beside going to work. Even how much I wanted to leave her, I just don't think I am able to, as the attachment feeling is too strong for me. All the best, and I am sure your children will be able to understand about having them sleeping over at grands, and all you could do is to pamper them when you are back from holiday..
1 person likes this
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 09
Hi Cwong, LOL, I am not going for any honey moon trip. My hub is not going out with me. I will be going for a short trip with one of my dear friend. I know most mummies feel It is so hard to leave the kids behind and go for leisure. More to say when the baby is still small and we sure will miss them every single minute. Lucky my kids have been practice to sleep over at the grand parents there so I think they shouldn't be any problem for them. Sometimes they even request not to come back home after the sleep over during weekends. What I worry now is they get to play too crazy while I am not around. As I know they will for sure go for swimming at the condo, hanging around at the malls because my mother in law likes to bring them out. I am just afraid too many activities for them.
@lindiebiz (1013)
• Canada
9 Nov 09
I understand how you feel it is difficult leaving your child at home and travelling but there is no reason to get worried because I believe they are in good hands and you can call them everyday. I once left my kids at home and travelled but they were okay and dont know if the missed me but I guess they did and I missed the too
1 person likes this
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 11
Hi, Now that my kids are older and I am happy to bring them to travel with me, lol. Though it will be exhausted but I am sure we gonna have more fun traveling together. No doubt they are in good in hands if I leave them to my husband's parents. But again, the feeling of miss them and the worry just come naturally.
• United States
9 Nov 09
Hi Vingyan, If i were you, i would not worry. Sometimes in life, you just go to trust them. I'm sure your in-law's will be able to take care of your two kids. They'll do fine. Just enjoy your vacation and have the time of your life.
1 person likes this
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 09
Hi Cubsfan, Thanks for your response. Your response indeed cheer me up a lot. Yes, it is true, I got to trust my in laws and with this way only I can get less worry. Sometimes I just can't stop thinking and thinking, worry this and that. MAybe this could be the first time I leave my 2 babies .
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 09
Hi Vingyan, I don't have this experience before,so I can't comment much on your topic. But since you are leaving your kids with their grandparents and they have get used to taking care of them,it should not be a problem,I guess. Also your husband is at home,so any problem,at least your husband can handle it when you are away for your holiday. Don't worry too much,get ready yourself for this short trip.And enjoy your holiday!!
1 person likes this
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 09
Hi Shia, I hope all my worries are too much . I hope with my hub is there, he manage to help out a bit. Some times, leave the kids for the in laws should be no problems, but I will worry the kids will be spoiling by the old folks. This is what I concern. LOl. So you will be leaving Malaysia very soon? Hope you have a wonderful holidays!
@drannhh (15044)
• United States
8 Nov 09
If you have to go away for your job, then you have to go away and worrying will not make the matter any better. If it were me and my travel were voluntary, of course I would cancel the trip, but work is work and we have to do what we have to do, as it is better for your babies to cry a little now than starve later, eh? Good luck.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (27334)
• United Kingdom
8 Nov 09
I hope that you will have an excellent trip. It will probably feel strange for you to travel without your kids. However I am sure that they will enjoy being cared for by your mother-in-law. You might be able to phone or email to make sure all is going well. Your kids are unlikely to get sick whilst you are away. You could leave some children's paracetamol just in case with your mother-in-law. I let my older son stay with my mom and they liked that. Now I have two young kids I let them travel with me. I have taken my toddler son to five different countries. My last trip was to Cape Town and the Garden Route and I was pregnant with my baby girl then. Happy traveling.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
1 Apr 11
Hi. vingyan06. I have never had to travel and leave my kids alone with anyone before. Not a long distance trip that is. I think that your fears are normal. Every mother will worry about their child when they are into the care of someone else, especially when it isn't you or the father, as parents. I think that you should talk to all of your kids on the telephone. You can also send them pictures and postcards just to let them know that you are thinking about that. You may be away, but your love is not far at all. I hope that you will enjoy your trip. Take care.
• United States
9 Nov 09
Why are you traveling without your husband?
@rg0205 (2638)
• Hong Kong
8 Nov 09
Hmm, okay well I cannot give you a perspective from a parent's point of view. I can only give you one from a child's point of view. When I was a kid, my parents would go for short vacations. At first, I didn't like it but I got used to it. Eventually, it became alright. I wasn't scared of being left with my relatives because they treated me well so I wasn't so "clingy" or "dependent" on my parents.