My mother didn't trust me

@ayebelle (368)
Philippines
November 14, 2009 8:27am CST
Last night i went out with my cousins and we went to their house it's not actually that far.And i'm still outside last night my mom txted me that i should come home, And i did. But she scolded me and telling i shouldn't go outside in the middle of the night. But i was just in my cousin house. Is she hard to understand that? She also thinks that i was with my boy friends, and hanging out with them which is not true. How come she didn't believe in me? And she keep telling me Sh*ts about me, and i hate her if she doing that! I just wonder if she is really my mother. Belle
2 people like this
15 responses
14 Nov 09
hi , things happened to me , exactly the same when i was a young girl, my mother never believed me, she wouldnt allow me to go out without her permission until i turned 18 yrs old!! well, i missed alot of fun because of that, cos whenever my friends asked me to go out, i must find an excuse to refuse them, my friends at first didnt mind, but at last they misunderstood me, they thought i didnt like them ,didnt want to go out with them!! well, now i become a mother, and my girls are in high school, i am very lucky, they didnt want to go out alot , i trust them, i know who are they going out with! i understand if i didnt allow them to go ,and the more they wanted to go!! i hope u can understand this, being a mother is not easy, she doesnt want u to make any mistakes, therefore she wants to control u, she in fact doesnt know how to express her feelings, used wrong words to scold u, used loud tone to talk to u which made u very upset!! maybe u should let her know ur friends, introduce them to ur house, have a simple tea time together,let her know u r not being naughty, u r mature ,ur friends are ok to go out with !! this will really ease her mind. u know, i cried alot when my daughters give me "black face", or when she said something that hurts me ,like: i dont like u....u r not my mom...etc although i knew they really didnt mean it, but it really hurts me. anyway, i hope u and ur mothers' relationship will not get worst, cos we only have ONE mother, we have no choice. And life is short, time will go, u will grow, she will get old!! have a good day and wishing u all the best in the future!!
@ayebelle (368)
• Philippines
14 Nov 09
I'm really touch of what you said. I do agree on that. Well i think i should try to do of what you said and if it work ill let you know. Thank you so much. I really learned things here. And it helps me to be a better person. Thank you again.
2 people like this
14 Nov 09
nice to hear that my dear!! i am looking forward to hear from u soon!! u have a very good sleep, tomorrow is a better day!!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Nov 09
I think I have nothing to say, debbie already gave you a very good response and I agree with all of what she said, especially the part "We only have one mother.". Maybe someday when you become a mom you'll understand what she felt, and you could be a better mom from the mistakes that she did, like giving more trust to your daughter or the way how to communicate with her. Smile, no matter what happens it'll pass.
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6295)
• United States
14 Nov 09
ok as a father we do worry about our kids, specaily our daughters more then our sons. my son was allow more freedom then my daughter. but we often got a weird way showing we car. but if she's say shi* about you that's not good. but you might have to show her she can trust your judgemnt in things you do with your life. like instead just going to your cousin's house, ask your mom first if its alright for you to go, and tell her you will call when you get there. the big secert with most parents, is being honest with them. like even now when my daughter is going anywhere and she's 24 she will text or call me and let me where she's at and if she's coming home or not. good luck
1 person likes this
@ayebelle (368)
• Philippines
14 Nov 09
Yes i also do the same thing as what your daughter do. But she still don't believe in me. I'm thinking if it's better to lie to her and not to tell the truth because in that way she will not get mad at me. Tsk
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov 09
no you still want to keep it real with your mom, show her she have no reason not to trust you. and after awhile she might see it. or when she's in a good mood sit and talk with her. or like daughter used to do is talk with my wife and then she talked with me
1 person likes this
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
15 Nov 09
For that matter friend she have more love to shown you it is a mother attitude but when she noticed that your not doing bad she don't remind you more about you that matter specially when sh found that your closer to your boyfriend she scared that time will come you got pregnant.
• Philippines
15 Nov 09
I feel the same way too :c my friends tell me that my mom just loves me so much that she had been so overprotective .. I dunno :c
1 person likes this
• India
15 Nov 09
its not a bad thing she is doing.its because of love she is having on u,makes thing like that.imagine,u love a person.when he is not with u,if ur mood is out,u will think of stupid things which r nt true.so,go to ur mom and say, am with so and so.an i wnt repeat it again.she will understand you.
1 person likes this
• India
15 Nov 09
Mothers are mothers.they love you and care for you.they dont want to get you into trouble.the only reason they scold you is for your good.Its just letting you know their viewpoint.dont think the other way around and say shw is not your mother.it will be good if you bothsit down and talk what happened that night and explain the truth.that will make her happy and ofcource you will be happy too
@lindiebiz (1013)
• Canada
15 Nov 09
You mother is trying to keep you from getting into trouble although she is going about it wrongly. She should trust you and you should not give her any reason to doubt you. Try to earn her trust and let her know you want her to trust you. This will help your relationship.
1 person likes this
@voldrox (7205)
• India
15 Nov 09
hi ayebelle, well i think your mom only doubts you because you are not really that open with her, i mean she might also think that you lie to her, don't let her feel that way, she only cares and want to know where you are in the night, if you go anywhere late and keep updating her she won't mind and as you said she wouldn't have said anything when she knows you were only with your cousin, i just fears and so that is loosening the trust i guess, try to be more open with her and let her know things and keep her updating when you go out anywhere, doesn't matter if it is day or night but let your mom know, that's all and she would not bother calling or texting, they would only if it is getting late and you didn't let them know.. you will have to try it.. all the best.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
15 Nov 09
its happened to me too, im very confused, but i still pray to God to have an good idea for this problem
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (96643)
• Marion, Kansas
15 Nov 09
Perhaps she remembers what she was like at that age, or maybe it is not you she does not trust, but the other people, and she just wants you safe.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov 09
Your mother not trusting you is a very bad thing. Something must have went wrong between you two in the past. Do not fight it. Face it and forgive it. Do somethign to gain your mother's trust back. Stick with her very often for a month or so, and she will get tired of it. She'll learn to trust you.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov 09
aaghhh!! not the teenage years, please, don't let me relive them. well if you're at your cousin's house then it should be ok. you could have your cousin call your mom. then she'll know where you are. but a lot of mothers get ancy when their child is out especially... well i guess this is the time you have when you are "a child" or still needing to obey your parents about going out. but if it bothers you you could talk to her. try to reason with her. this is what my younger sister did when she turned into a teenager and she got a lot more priveleges than me, simply because she asked and was willing to discuss it with my parents. which was a hard thing to do. especially since one of them is really overly gregarious about boys and protection from so much. but paranoid parents can actually harp on a childs lifestyle. and in your teen years this is hard. but you have to know when to wake up, and how to talk to her. and you can't just scream at each other, (this is where i still have a hard time) but have to try to communicate, bargle, and reason. you may have to compensate.while gaining trust.?
• United Arab Emirates
14 Nov 09
This is so normal for mothers to be over-protective of their children, especially their daughters. Maybe, you can start bringing your friends to your house and introduce them to your mother so next time she will know who you are hanging out with. This is probably the reason she doesn't believe you, because she doesn't know who your friends are. You have to build trust to be trusted.
1 person likes this
• Boston, Massachusetts
14 Nov 09
Hi Ayebelle, Please try to understand your mom...she is just concern about you and your safety. i am a mom too and if i am your mom i will be protective of you too. it's not that she does not trust you it's more on being worried about your safety. But of course there is a positive way of saying this or communicating this with you. Try to reach out to your mom and establish an open communication between you and your mom. Tell her your disappointments with respect and ask for her patience and understanding so that you will be more happier and disagreements and argumentation will be avoided.
• Malaysia
14 Nov 09
Well, actually, she didn't trust you? I think that is because she very care about you and she want to give the best for you. Mother born you is hard and she want you to know that if anything happen to you what will it be? You happy if you become mother and your son or daughter don't come back home and sometimes don't even give any calls. Think positive! Hope can help you!
1 person likes this