To settle an argument, What time to think is right for a child to go to bed???
By vikkiz
@vikkiz (518)
November 16, 2009 4:27pm CST
I have had a huge fall out with my friend over her children, I know it may sound a bit pathetic but trust me its not!, My friends child is 6 and goes to bed when my friend goes to bed which is usually between 12-2am in the morning, he then has to get up for school at 7.30am?? Sometimes hes off school because my friend cant get him out of bed! On top of that he plays out in the street till after 10pm at night with nobody watching him and most of the time his 3 year old brother is with him?? I am normally at the window watching as im so freaked out that someone may take them!!!!
Even when he is in the house hes glued in front of a playstation and is even allowed to play on that till stupid oclock in the morning.
Ive noticed that the differnece between him and my 4 year old is massive, My son has better writing skills and can read,talk count better, I do let my child play on a playstation but only for an hour, and he has a strict routine of 7pm bath,supper and bedtime story before actually getting into bed before 8pm.
I also have never let my child play out in the street even in broad daylight unless i am out there with him??
When i confronted my ex friend about this she said that i was only jealous as they have more fun?? and that she will not control her kids like i control mine???
I have loads of fun with my son.....but in reasonable hours! and as for being controling....well yes i am i believe in strict routines!!!
Do you think i should keep my nose out or ring social services???
2 responses
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
17 Nov 09
Oh man..In my opinion.you should only make the call if you are willing to own up to doing it. If you two just had a falling out about the care she gives her children,and DSS shows up, she's going to know it was you, or at least she's going to convince herself it was. You evidently live close if you can watch her children play outside. It could make for a bad situation on a daily basis.
You have to ask yourself too are you making the call out of anger or because you truly believe these kids will be better off being in the system..if it goes that far.
I agree with you about routine, kids need to know what to expect and to feel secure in the world and routines go along way in meeting that need.
@vikkiz (518)
•
17 Nov 09
No its not because im angry, the reason we fell out is because i keep trying to get her to look after he kids properly, I mean what would you do??? what happens if they got snatched off someone in the street and i knew this all along??? I would blame myself for the rest of my life.
You see i work with social sevices and ive confided in one of the workers who says this should be reported and because of my job it is my duty to report it!
It wouldnt mean her kids would be taken away but there would be at least someone checking up on them to make sure their school work and attendance were ok.
I also found out that she has had dealings with social services before and actually vanished when she was supposed to be at a court hearing about her kids, so this has happened before!!!
I might add that she isnt what i would call an inner circle friend, shes just a neighbour that i talk to.
And the answer to your question would be no i wouldnt care if she thought it was me whod rang social services at the end of the day i have told her time and time again she knows what my job is and she still persistently neglects them.
One night i went round to see if she was ok as all the lights were out and that was unusual for her at 11pm at night, There was no answer at the front door so i tryed the back, when i was looking through the window here i find her 6 year old crying behind the sofa, i told him to come to he back door but he was very scared once id persuaded him to come to the back door he told me hed woken up and couldnt find his mam??? Turns out shed ''popped'' to her friends house at 11pm at night and left both her 6 and 3 year old locked in the house!!!
Infact even sitting writing this is making me relise how much neglect theyve been suffering and i dont know for how long?
She also told me that the reason they had moved to my area was because her ex partner had molested her son, When i checked up on this that was also untrue.
What kind of a person lies about a thing like that???
@vikkiz (518)
•
18 Nov 09
No your not rude at all, I dont actually work for social services but i do work along side them, you are quite right to be harsh to me and yes i should have done something sooner but all this was before i started digging and found out she had done this before, the night i found them alone i stayed at the door till she came back and she started crying saying she needed to get milk from her friend to give to the kids in the morning, that was really the night i started watching her and the kids and it wasnt untill my son started asking why he was going to bed at 7.30pm when other children were still playing out that i relised she is in the wrong like i say i have tryed and tryed to help her but she hasnt taken the help, i agree that i will have to go see the social worker i know and ill have to stress that she may do a runner again.
Please bear in mind though that i am only 23, and even though i am a fantastic mother and a great carer to all the badly behaved kids i teach i am still learning and sometimes i may get it wrong.
Good on you for fostering it is really good work you do!I would love to foster especially an older child that noone wants, But untill my child is older i wouldnt risk having a child in my house that could disturb or hurt my own child.
keep up the good work!
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
17 Nov 09
Someone like that will not listen to you, she is not interested in her child's health.
A 6 year old needs at least 10 hours of sleep per night and doctors recommend 12. If you deprive them of that sleep, they do not grow properly--we grow while we sleep and not when we are awake--their brains won't develop properly and they will have behavior problems. Sleep deprivation affects their learning, too.
I would say that your friend is a very selfish person and her children will have a lot of problems that are entirely her fault--but she won't see it that way, of course.
@vikkiz (518)
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17 Nov 09
Yes i agree, I think you should read what i have just posted up above, Your totally right in saying she doesnt care i think she has some sort of a mental instability, Im just a bit wary of what goes on inside the house if what goes on outside is abnormal, i think a call to the social services is defo on the cards as if i was ever found out to be witholding information like this with my job id be in trouble as i should know better thanks for your comments
