Cassandra and Parenting

.hi.. Hello. I'm sorry but I beg to disagree with you.. my view on parenting is not the same with you.. Never a problem on this end with listening to an alternative point of view. No need to say your sorry. :) As for me, I believe children have their way of discovering right and wrong.. most of the time, telling them that this or that is wrong is just meaningless until they've experienced it themselves most especially when they are already teenagers.. Not so much of a disagreement here. Most of the time, you seem to see it as meaningless to tell a child or teenager what is right and what is wrong. Apparently, at this point, it seems that you have seen children insisting on experiencing things for themselves. they usually want to prove what they can and they can't do.. only when they start to become mature that they realize that they don't need to experience something to find out that it was bad or it was wrong.. Somewhere along the way, I heard someone say, "The foolish don't learn from their own mistakes. A smart man will learn from his mistakes. A wise man will learn from other people's mistakes." Essentially, it is wisdom that is lacking. what children needs most from parents is guidance and understanding during their teenage years which is very critical because children find themselves in a world of competition proving their self worth.. I would agree. The childhood and teenage years are formative. The pressures to make friends and fit in can be formidable. they won't really believe anything we say.. Understood, we have the advantage of experience. An ability to forsee problems the child or teenager cannot. Despite what we say, they seem to have a need to go ahead and try things their way. other teens mature earlier so they understand easily when you explain things to them.. I can easily and willingly accept that some teenagers are wiser than others. :) teens seem to do what they want even if you restrict them to do it.. I believe this is called testing their limits. Some effort to establish their identity requires them to try things their own way instead of simply doing as you tell them. but if you talk to them nicely and explain why this or that is wrong, I believe they will believe.. Ah, and I have learned in life that trying to explain the error of one's ways nicely is non-productive. Not that I mean you should yell at someone, but too much effort at niceness allows another person to brush you off. To dismiss your concerns without really hearing them. this is based from personal experience anyway.. but sometimes, experience is the best teacher right..? [i]I would say, yes. One of the styles of philosophical argument is to ask questions instead of making statements. I believe some styles of psychology do this as well, essentially repeating or restating what you've already stated in an effor to draw out your thoughts. Sometimes, this is criticized as not being more helpful than talking to yourself. However, I think there have been times in our life where we have used someone we trust as a "sounding board." But, back to the point, the comment that experience is the best teacher probably gets to the heart of the matter. Despite being told, the teenager must experience the forseen or predicted disaster before they will truly learn what you were trying to tell them to begin with. Thanks for your response.[/i]