Getting your 8 year old to follow directions... any input???

United States
January 10, 2010 1:39pm CST
OK my 8 year old is a well behaved child, she doesnt act up on a normal basis, she earns her allowance, shes a great big sister an a helper, and she is just so precious, she does well in school and what not.. My issue is that i HAVE to repeat myself over and over again.. " gabby go make your bed" ( as she is looking right at me.. then ill say " did you hear what i said?" she will give me a weird look and then nod her head. then ill say " well go do it.." then ill get " go do what mom?" All the time its like this.. regardless of what it is ill give her a list of directions.. for example she will ask.. " hey mom can i watch spongebob before bed?" ill say.. you have 15 minutes go pee, brush your teeth, say good night to daddy and get into bed.. she respond with OK! 20 minutes later she will come out of the bathroom and say ok i brushed my teeth and went to the bathroom.. now what do i need to do? Her teachers say that she has ADHD because of this, her ENT thinks its due from lack of good nights rest because she has sleep apnea, i think she is just having selctive hearing like her father. Her ears are fine she has no medical problems there ( already checked) any ideas on what you think it is or could be or ideas on what we can do to get her back on track and motivated??
4 responses
@JDLofton (52)
• United States
10 Jan 10
You have a good question here. Well, my little boy is 10 years old. We have him on riidlen. It helps calm him down from being active all the time and helps him focus on what he needs to do. Especially in school. To tell you the truth I am on something like that as well. It calms me down alot. My wife has noticed that when I aint on the medicine I am always fussy. So this might help you out a little. You will have to bring her to doctor to get a prescription for it. The doctor might have something else in mind as well.
• United States
11 Jan 10
The school is the one that brought the ADHD up to me and i was like no way i know a few kids that have that and are the medication and there is no way my daughter does.. then i mentioned it to her neuroligsist and he diagnosed her as borderline and asked if i wanted to give her meds i said no way, she gets chronic migraines and has sleep apnea and what not so he referred us to an ENT. the ENT said that there is a slight slight chance that they only think she is borderline due to the fact that she is not getting the sleep needed and by removing her adnoida and tonsils that that should help.. I DONT want to put her on meds shes is not hyper just SLow.. lol but then again i suppose what 8 year old isnt? thanks for your response
@owlwings (36387)
• Cambridge, England
10 Jan 10
Well, I don't know about ADHD and all these new-fangled terms (it's not that I don't believe they exist just that I'd need to know a lot more about you and Gabby to say whether that is the problem). My guess is that she does hear you ask her to go make her bed but that so much is going on in her mind that she doesn't connect what you say with something she must do (hence the weird look). At eight she is on the borderline of being a 'baby' and understanding about doing what she is told (following instructions) and of understanding that she can (and should) decide for herself what she should do. My diagnosis (based on whatever) is that she needs more love and cuddles, sharing laughter about her 'forgetfulness', understanding that she's growing up, belief that she's a perfectly normal and average (but fantastic and really valuable) eight year old and that it's not easy, this growing up stuff! Selective hearing is something that males (especially) carry over from their childhood. It's a coping strategy, not an illness. If your little girl is really developing it then (1) it's pretty normal but (2) it might tell you something about the attention that you are able to give her at a particularly stressful time in her life (and, hey, being eight is NOT as stressful as being 11, 12, 13 and on!)
• United States
11 Jan 10
thank you for your response. i sort of responsed up above to your response and didnt realize you had left one here too.. so that above is for you as well as.. believe me there is plently of cuddling and love, she and i are so close like best friends! t
@emarie (5456)
• United States
11 Jan 10
Well, at some points he sounds like a typical 8yr old, i have one myself. a boy. i find myself repeating things to him or telling him to do things more then once because he doesn't reply when asked the first time. one thing you can do is you can ask her to repeat what you just said and ask her if she understands that. that might help a little bit. for the other problems. for ADHD, you need to get that properly diagnosed. I was thought to have ADD (which i think might be your daughters case or not) but they said that wasn't the case. ADD is when you can't concentrate on one thing for too long and the reason they said I didn't have it was because I could sit down and do one thing for 30min. I think people are too quick to put ADHD on kids and give them medication. So if you're worried about that, see someone for it. for the sleep problems, you might be on to something. if she just seems out of it them she might be a little sleep deprived. i think there are clinics for that as well that you could have it checked out. but you're right, she doesn't sound like a BAD child. and i have selective hearing, just like my father....if she's staring straight at you, then i don't think thats the case. selective hearing is forcing yourself to ignore the other person, thats all. but just ask her to repeat what you said and monitor her behaivor a little more too make sure everything is all right.
• United States
11 Jan 10
Have you tried having her repeat things back to you? Does she have trouble with written directions too? If so, having her read them out loud might help. And if not, then try writing down what you want her to do. If it is a "behavioral" problem like selective hearing, she'll eventually get annoyed enough with you writing everything out that she'll correct the behavior on her own. Just some ideas that I know help people to comprehend instruction better, if that's her problem.