my friend owes me some money!

United States
January 11, 2010 1:59pm CST
I'm so glad I have anonymous ppl to talk to. Ok here goes. I have a friend actually my best friend. During the summer last year I loaned her 2000.00 to help get her truck out the auto mechanic shop, she has 8 kids so i decided to help her out. We make about the same amount of money and I have 3 kids of my own. The problem is it's a new year and I still haven't received my money. To add to that I asked several times when I knew she had the money and she caught an attitude. So I've come to the conclusion that it's time for me to take more action. My question is do you think it would be wrong if I sued her for the money? I have kids too and as hard as it is, I really need my money. She says she will pay me the money when she receives her money from her tax return, but there's no guarantee there because she had the money before and didn't bother to pay me, instead she bought a new car, mind you she already has an escalade truck and a chevy impala. What do you think mylotters should I sue her or what?
3 people like this
15 responses
@getpaidsz (181)
• Italy
12 Jan 10
I think its better to inform her about your situation an possibilities before. Give her a strict time and tell her that you don't like to sue her and make your friendship broken for this. Remember that making a real friendship is much harder than breaking it in a second. If you think that she is not really a good friend anymore the story is different. Then better to cut it now than later. Since, you can spend this money to help your other friends at least.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
12 Jan 10
Good things seldom come out of suing....
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Jan 10
lord I think maybe the two of them could work something out with that Chevy impala, she does not need three vehicles, let her sell the one and pay back her friend.
@ronnyb (6119)
• Jamaica
12 Jan 10
Wow your friend is very selfish and the only way to deal with such people is by force so yes I would say sue .Mind you before you do that tell her of your intentions and get other persons to talk to her.I think though that she can sell one of her cars ,I mean she didnt even need a new car
1 person likes this
• Singapore
12 Jan 10
Hi lashumbe, Sorry to hear that... but well, money matters tend to spoil relationships. Unfortunately. I know I may sound like I am speaking with hindsight but when you lend money to anybody, you should always write it off immediately. When you lend it out, just assume you are not getting it back. This way, you won't feel bad when the money doesn't return... because you already assumed it gone. In your case, if you really need the money, I would suggest explaining the situation nicely to your friend. Tell her how you need the money yourself too and while you are good friends - and you want the friendship to remain strong - you need the money returned nevertheless. See if you can work something out with her. Good luck...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Jan 10
I've been in a similar situation as you lashumbe. I also had a friend who owed me money last 2005 and did not bother to pay me until now. I don't know where to contact her coz she flew to dubai to work there. I think you should take actions now to your friend coz obviously she's taking advantage of your relationship. She might be thinking you wouldn't do anything should she decide to prolong the payment even if she's capable of doing so. Teach her a lesson and don't trust her again. She's not a good friend and she doesn't deserve your friendship.
1 person likes this
@StevenZhu (198)
• China
12 Jan 10
Hi lashumbe, I just wonder what's the thinking of your friend on the friendship between she and you. Stand at a position of close friend, I'd like to return the money as long as I have it, no matter the lender care about it or not. If I do need it in the next I would rather explain the reasons to my friend firstly, if my friend doesn't like that I would suspend my next plan and return the money.
• United States
12 Jan 10
A man once told me that ppl grow apart. I think that's what has happened here. I've been knowing this person for many years, she has become my bestfriend and she is like a sister to me. Mentally and Physically we are growing apart, we are starting to see life on a different scale. I feel like I'm moving forward in my career and gaining valuable knowledge and maybe she feels I will leave her behind. She's been very nonchalant with me lately, not really expressing her happiness for me. She acts as if my success is affecting her misery in some odd way. I don't know. I always try to make her feel comfortable but truth is we hang in two different circles, I'm more professional while she's more street. I guess we are growing apart. wow. i just realized that. Thanks for listening StevenZhu.
• China
13 Jan 10
Thanks lashumbe, I see, and in my mind you should take some firm actions to back you money with polite and friendship.
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Jan 10
lashumbe hi yes I think you are going to have to as she seems to have money to do everything but pay back the money you loaned her. you owe it to your children first to care for them, you helped her now its her turn.suggest if she has not got the money to sell one of her cars and pay you back.its not your fault she has 8 children. wow. Is the chevy impala a fairly new car,worth more than 2000 ,if its just about that in the blue book ask her to turn the ownership over to you then sell the car..lol.
• United States
15 Jan 10
LOL I KNOW RIGHT!!! That's what I told my boyfriend I'd rather take the Escalade truck since I obviously paid for it. LOL If I wouldn't have loaned her the money they were gonna put her vehicle up for auction. So I constantly tell ppl that's my truck because if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have the truck right now. lol . How ungrateful now her things are getting put out of her home by the constables. How sad, but what goes around comes around. You can buy a new car but can't pay me or the rent I think her priorities been messed up even before me.
@zjonier (39)
• China
12 Jan 10
First you can discuss with her.If she really don't want to give money to you,next time,you do not need to help her.Because she is not faithful.If she really have trouble and can not pay back,you can wait for her.
• United States
12 Jan 10
Thanks for your response zjoiner. I have talked with her many times. I know she doesn't have the money right now, but I figure when she did have the money she should have atleast TRIED to pay me back even if it was just some of the money she could have made that effort before she bought a new car.
• United States
12 Jan 10
Of course it's not wrong for you to do that. She owes you A LOT of money. $2,000.00 is not just something that people are willing to give away for free. If she doesn't at least start to you back, then you should sue her. It's not your fault that she decided not to pay you back. Don't feel guilty just because she's your friend. She would probably do the same thing to you if you were doing that anyway. Good luck with that. I hope you can get your money back from her without losing your friendship.
• United States
12 Jan 10
You are right powerbrokenape, I think she would have done me the same way. This is not my first time letting her borrow money but it is my first time letting her borrow over a thousand. I've borrowed money in the past from her and I've always paid her back before time! I never had a problem before. My problem is how can you afford to buy a new car when you already have two working vehicles and you haven't paid me back or at least tried. thanks for your comment
@max1950 (2313)
• United States
11 Jan 10
as soon as you said " she" caught an attitude i would have gone downtown and filed a suit against her in maybe small claims court. thats crap take her to court and dont let the lawyer talk you into taking less, your so called friend isn't any more go get her, and im thinking decatur ga. maybe ? they just love people like her in georgia court system. and before you go make sure you have a picture of her new car parked in her driveway for the judge if it goes that far, get rid of the bum, you dont need her.
• United States
12 Jan 10
lol. Will do Max1950, i thought of that also. I figured if she thought our friendship was worth it she would've atleast explained her situation, tried to pay me back a little at a time, or better yet, she just shouldn't have bought the car. That was dumb on her part because I wasn't even stressing the money until I saw her new shiny black impala! Thanks for the advice.
@MJay101 (711)
11 Jan 10
I doubt you'll be able to sue - what would be the basis for the legal challenge? Is there anything set down in writing? You'd also total your relationship with your friend, which might well be strained at the moment, but would surely bomb when (if) papers are served. Why not try talking to her? Explain how much you need the money, and how you feel that her holding on to it is seriously affecting your relationship. Perhaps she's simply unaware of your predicament - or perhaps there are other issues that you just don't know about. It does seem ridiculous that she's bought another vehicle, but some people are just stupid - clueless with money. I really suggest you talk to her - one way or another, it will offer some resolution!
• United States
12 Jan 10
Thanks for your response MJay101. I've tried talking about it several times even going so far as to allowing my husband to call her. She actually got into an argument with my husband and that's what caused the strain thereafter. If she would have atleast explained her situation or tried to even make payments, it wouldn't have gotten this far.
@sublime03 (1811)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Lending money is a 50/50 chance especially when you are lending it to a friend. The reason for this is because since you are shy to ask your friend or know the situation she/he is in at the moment, you tend to sly away and wait for them to pay you back. I guess it would be better to confront her first about it. Give her a chance to explain herself. Now if you do not agree to what she is saying you may want to warn her so she is aware. I hope everything goes well with you and your friend.
• United States
11 Jan 10
you are exactly right. That's why it's taken so long because i shyed away from it for a while but when I needed it for the holidays she wasn't able to pay me back. I saw it as she bought a car when she could have paid me back. I've borrowed money from her in the past and I've always paid her before I was suppose too. But I guess everybodies not the same. I really thought I knew this person until I let her hold my cash!
• United States
11 Jan 10
Oh this one is very tough to hep you with. First off if you have nothing in writing I would not go to court. You have no way to prove you loaned her the money. trust me she may know this as well. I would ask her to put that n a statement that she will pay you with her taxes. If you waited this long you can wait a bit longer. Think about how you will feel if you never get the money back. This is what you may end up with after it's all said and done. never loan out money you can't afford to lose.
• United States
11 Jan 10
I know it is very tough because she has been my friend for some years now, but I think we are slowly growing apart. I do have the receipt from the wire transfer but she doesn't know it. At the time I lend it to her I could afford to lend it and get paid later, it's not even an issue with the money right now it's basically the principle of the matter. Eventually what goes around comes around. She ended up selling one of her vehicles and the guy that she sold it to has yet to pay her the rest of the money he owes her which is 1500.00. I just know from now on, not to let friends borrow money.
• United States
11 Jan 10
Do you have anything in writing where you gave her this money? A cancel check or an agreement between the two of you? If you are going to bring suit against her you need to be able to prove that you did give her the amount you stated. You don't want to go to the courthouse only to have your case thrown out because this will cost you more in the long run. Also you may want to talk to one of those free lawyer deals where they will consult with you for like 30 minutes at no charge to see if you have a winalbe case. After all of that is in place then I would certainly say that I would persue getting my money back and also by then she should have her taxes back so hopefully she will have already paid you and you will not have to go through the expense of sueing her.
• United States
11 Jan 10
yes sleepylittlerose I have the wire transfer that I sent to her husband to get the car out of the mechanics shop because it was in another state. I don't think she knows I still have it. I'm so glad I never throw receipts away lol. I hope she's honest and just pays me.
@PSmith721 (287)
• United States
11 Jan 10
My thought is, that you may have to. Did you tell her that she is going to have to pay you back as soon as possible when you loaned it to her? You might be able to get some sort of legal papers on line and not have to go through a lawyer. That way you can save a little money. Good luck. I know it will be a hard decision!!
• United States
11 Jan 10
I told her that she would and she agreed to pay me back as soon as possible, but instead she took a trip to Florida (unplanned) and bought a used car which she doesn't even drive. Seems like she was throwing that in my face. I really don't trust her anymore.
@xe20mx (94)
• India
12 Jan 10
If u think she is a good friend then never cut a friendship with money.Else it is time to sue..