Do u ever refuse someone who want to be your friend?

Indonesia
February 1, 2010 1:12am CST
In my life, i never refuse others to be my friend. But i ever get refused by someone. I really wanted to be his friend. But he said to me "I don't deserve to get your friendship." I really don't understand, why he thinks that he doesn't deserve my friendship. To care with someone, its my choice, right? But why he refuse to get a care from me? Is there any reason for that? I'm really sad if someone says that he doesn't deserve a care from me, affection from me. I just want to make a friend, am i wrong with that?
3 people like this
38 responses
@libr16 (40)
• India
1 Feb 10
i never in my life refused a friendship of someone.instead what i do is i make a friend first , then stay with that person for few days and then think that can we be a good friends. i never thought that somebody deserve my friendship or not but instead i think that can we UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER WELL.according to me FRIENDSHIP IS ABOUT UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHER.WHAT DO U SAY?
• Indonesia
1 Feb 10
i think so libr16. Thanks for sharing here. Happy my lotting :)
@emine08 (1531)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 10
I think I never refuse somebody to be my friend. Everybody is welcome. Do you want to be my friend?
• Philippines
1 Feb 10
Hi there, emine08! YES, it's really nice that you have much friends to take care of and they will as well worry over you but still YOU have to be careful with the intentions, vigilant, because some are just for BAD reasons, nevertheless, you are blessed to meet the good ones.
@myguy09 (63)
• Malaysia
1 Feb 10
The same goes for everyone I think especially when i comes to virtual friendship.It just hard to resist a friendship request if that person can be met or seen frequently..If we have been rejected or whatever term., just thnik it from th positive side. It's not the en of the world
• Indonesia
1 Feb 10
hello myguy09, thanks for your sharing here. But what i mean isnt a virtual friendship, but the real friendship. Me and him were a good friend. But one day, we have a serious problem in our friendship. And after that, we just like tom and jerry, we are friend, but like an enemy. And then i ask him, why he treat me like that. I said i really want to be his friend just like before. But he said that he doesnt deserve my friendship, he said that he's not a good person to be my friend.
• United States
4 Feb 10
Years ago I was friends with someone who would get angry because a particular person didn't like him. I tried to smooth things over by telling him that he'd never be able to get everyone to like him, but it was no reflection on him. You enjoy the ones who are your friends and don't concern yourself with the others.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
3 Feb 10
No.. I never refuse someone who request to be my friend. Because I believe they want someone to comfort them and or need someone to be good friend either... Wish we can be friend...Have a nice day!!!
@derek_a (10902)
3 Feb 10
No, I take everbody who wants to be my friend here on myLot. Outside in the world though, I find that friendship is either something that happen spontaneously or not. I don't go looking for friends, a relationship with another person just happens that way.. _Derek
• China
3 Feb 10
i dont understand. if only to be as good friends, there is no need to speak out. only u can communicate with each other abt almost everything, and can help each other when the other is a trouble.then slowly, u'r good friends. he refused u. i think maybe he thought u were asking for a relationship like love?
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
3 Feb 10
sometimes, luvlymee. that applies more to the people i know and don't want to be associated with than those from faraway lands -- through the internet -- whom i hardly know, except for what they write on their websites or blogs, even in discussion groups like mylot... as to what you said, it is really difficult to say that there is a one-way friendship... friendship always is a reciprocal relationships, otherwise, it's something else...
@kquiming (2999)
• Philippines
3 Feb 10
Okay this might sound a bit negative , but I think it's possible that the person is just making excuses because he can't say it directly and admit it to you and himself that, the truth is, he doesn't want to be your friend. And probably doesn't want you hanging around him/her. This is just a theory of course I might be wrong, but take it as a possibility. If someone wants me as a friend, well, it depends. I could refuse if I have a very good reason too (for example, let's say our friendship could cause great trouble in the family because let's just say that person's family and mine are having issues). But generally in most cases, I wouldn't refuse anyone wanting to start a friendship with me.
@jezzmay (1845)
• United States
2 Feb 10
Making friends is good, but I do see why some people do not want friends. I am that way, I have had fiends in the past, who did not turn out to be true friends. So, now I do not want friends, I am find the way I am. Happy posting.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
2 Feb 10
I like to give everyone a fair chance, but let me tell you, if i get that kind of response from someone, i will definately show him the door. And then i would lock it after him, just to state my point, from what i think of that.
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
2 Feb 10
Maybe he has a reason but I think,seldom that find people like him.But I ever refuse someone who want to be my friend.It could be happen in facebook.If I think,I really don't know who they are or Maybe they was my friend but I did not want to keep contact more because privat reason.
2 Feb 10
In my life i guess i would be careful who I trust as a good friend i mean if i had something incommon with that friend but i don't want to be hurt i guess you have be carful who you have as a friend that is a shame if you refuse others to be your friend you are so nice and friendly
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
2 Feb 10
Maybe he has a reason but I think,seldom that find people like him.But I ever refuse someone who want to be my friend.It could be happen in facebook.If I think,I really don't know who they are or Maybe they was my friend but I did not want to keep contact more because privat reason.
• China
2 Feb 10
Acturely,i didn't know how to refuse.so,generally,i will not refuse others to be my friend.but,i am not sure whether the friendship can remain.Because for some friendship i didn't know how to response to,even i never take sb's friendship for granted.
• India
2 Feb 10
A person who makes friends and does not hurt an other person's feelings by telling them that they can't be friends is a good person. You are a kind person and should not get upset by other people's behaviour. Some people are very reserved. They do not make many friends because of something they have experienced in the past. Still I do think it is very rude to tell someone to their face that they prefer not to be friends. There are so many other ways to let a person know without hurting the other person's feelings. So don't worry yourself about it. This is life. There are all kinds of people out there. You just be yourself.
• United States
2 Feb 10
Some persons have a lot of price and they think that if they let someone in their soul they are going to be perceived as weak, some people have a shield that doesn't let anyone to see them how they are, they think that have to be HARD and tough so people would think they are cool, they won't show you the side they show to their families for example. Other reason for this guy to refuse your friendship is that he may think that you a romantic interest in himself so that is the reason you want to be friends with him.
@ANIME123 (2473)
• United States
2 Feb 10
No you are being kind so kind to want his friendship. It's kind of sad that he is refusing you friendship. He is probably shy to be your friend or he probably feels all alone and does not want others to be involved with him. Me I never refuse if someone wants to be my friend. I always love to make new friends because it's so much fun. Life is meant to have fun and to live it up with friends.
• Philippines
1 Feb 10
It's either he has an attitude problem or he is trying to hide something which he fears you will find out when u get closer to him. Don't let his behavior discourage you in ur desired to grow up to be a better person. You are beautiful and nothing and no one can ever make u feel differently.
@Ladyslipper (1330)
• Philippines
1 Feb 10
Hi Luvlymee! I consider my self as a very friendly person. I have a lot of friends and also acquaintances. For me, a friend is different from an acquaintance. A friend is someone who knows you well compared to other people. A friend is someone very dear, important anc close to your heart. That person will always be close to you even if you are separated by distance. An acquaintance is somewhat like a friend. YOu from a certain bond but not really for a lifetime. This person is someone who knows you, maybe know a little about your personal background, you get to enjoy her/ his company but the bonding is not as deep as that of friendship. Friendship needs to be nurtured just like other relationships. Through ups and downs you should always be there for each other. It is the reason though I can get acquainted with someone so easily it is not that easy for me to form a friendship with just anyone. Aside from that if the person is nasty or has this bad attitude like a user, social- climber, talks ill or bad about other people, untrustworthy, does not have integrity, etc. then I stay away from that person before it's too late.