"What usually the main and other reason why couple fight!

@cloud31 (5811)
February 6, 2010 12:10am CST
Why couple fight? Aren't they fit with each other? What usually the reason why they fight? And what do you they are fighting for? Sometimes they fight in just a simple matter, they fight because of their dissimilarities,finances and etc. I can't figure out why couples fight in so many reasons?I even don't understand why sometimes they regret with their decision to marry each other? How about you?DO you have any regrets marrying her/him? When i knew someone regretting on her/his marriage , my fear start to develop, will i have the same feeling of regret later in my marriage? Looking forward for your opinion guys!God bless!
2 people like this
20 responses
@acie_21 (5647)
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
hi there cloud!... Lack of understanding. A lot of the frustration between married couples arises because one partner feels the other just doesn't understand them. But maybe they would understand if the situation was communicated to them better. It may be clear to you but it really needs to be clear to them. Explain the problem in a different way and give them a chance. Don't be vague and if you have to, break it down in smaller components. BE PATIENT! It may take longer for them to understand. Have them repeat the scenario in their own words so that they can translate it into something they can understand. If they want to work the problem out with you, then a solution will be found and met. No teamwork. A marriage is the union of two people working together towards one main goal- to be happy with each other. There are plenty of times when you two are not physically together but there still needs to be a mutual connection so your marriage can run smoothly. Teamwork depends on communication; letting the other person know what you're doing to keep up your end of the deal. A simple message telling the other person that you took care of the bills this month or went grocery shopping let's them know that they don't need to worry about those issues. In this two-person team, each individual has their own responsibilities to tend to. If each side pulls through, the stress levels will not be so high and you can move on to the next matter. It's like rowing; if only one side of the boat is paddling, you'll continue to go in circles and you'll never reach your destination. Little compromise. When you're single in this world, it's every man for him self. But in a marriage, it's crucial to have some "give and take." Somebody has to cook or clean or pick up the kids, that's a given. But if time, effort, and energy allows for it, go the extra mile and offer to do or help with one of your spouse's duties, especially if you can tell their energy level is low. You may end up putting a great deal of effort into the task but the outcome will exceed the energy exerted. Your spouse will see and appreciate your deed and will want to repay you when your energy level is low. As far as arguing goes, pick your battles. If you can tell your partner feels strongly about a certain issue, a suggestion would be to back down. However, if you feel strongly on the opposing subject, try negotiating a deal out where both of you are happy. If you give a little, an understanding partner will give as much as you. Once you inch closer and closer to each other, a happy medium will be met. or Their expectations weren’t met.... cheating is also the issue why couples fight!being unfaithful to each that really would caused break ups!or divorce in a marriage life.. happy mylotting! cheers! take care!
@goldeneagle (6776)
• United States
10 Feb 10
From what I have read, statistics show that money and children are the two main things that couples fight about. Money is the number one reason...
@bystander (2308)
• Philippines
7 Feb 10
disagreement between couples are normal, it's the fight that is not. arguments are a good way towards finding compromises, and that's what disagreements are between couples... they disagree to agree... but when disagreement becomes a fight, that's something else... and when somebody gets hurt, the chasm widens and begins to erode the relationship...
@Ladyslipper (1330)
• Philippines
7 Feb 10
It's normal for a couple to fight because they are two different individuals with different attitudes, likes, dislikes, point of views/ outlook in life, etc. That is why it is important for them to have a constant communication. Having differences and misunderstanding is not the problem couple end up separating. It is when they have irreconcilable differences. It is when they both don't want to find a common ground or meet half- way. When both of them wants to be the Boss and to win always. It takes a give and take relationship and also respect for their individualities for their conflicts to be resolved. I don't regret marrying my husband even if we sometimes fight even just over simple things. What matters is that in the end we still find a way to reconcile.
• India
7 Feb 10
according to me the main reason is over possessiveness . sometimes it can get into Ur skin. there needs to be space for every relationship but itis not happening . so i feel this is one of the biggest reason . in this materialistic world we hardly see understanding cheers
• United States
6 Feb 10
I'd say misunderstandings and jealousy probably cause a lot of fights. I've never been married, but my parents used to fight over money all the time. And on how to raise us. The biggest arguments I remember growing up were on how to punish us whenever we did something wrong. It's possible people simply just outgrow each other. Your spouse could no longer be the same person today s/he was 10 years ago when you married them. I outgrow friends all the time. People change, for better or worse, depending on their experiences in life. I once had a friend who was the sweetest girl you could ever possibly meet and after she started hanging out with the rich and popular clique at school she became pretty materialistic and selfish. It doesn't have to be them that changes, it could be you realizing you want something else out of life and that the something you wanted when you married your spouse is different from what you want now and completely incompatible with what your partner wants. It could really be any number of reasons though depending on the couple and situation.
@junrapmian (2170)
• Philippines
6 Feb 10
I don't think fighting is the right word, maybe arguing. Fighting connotes something like there's physical hurting of each other. It is normal for couples to argue on anything as everyday of their living together is always a day of adjustment. Don't be afraid of getting married, other couples fate won't be the same as yours. Those couples who always fight and argue lacks love, communication and understanding. If you love him enough and he loves you too so much, nothing can't be resolved. Your love for each other will overcome each other's shortcomings. If your partner is angry, just keep your cool. Do not meet his temper. Once he has cool down, talk in the calmest way, you won't come to an agreement if both of you are shouting at the top of your voices. Love, communication and understanding, if you both have these, your relationship will go a long, long way!
• Taiwan
6 Feb 10
i think fight is a way to make they more match each other,the chinese all said the husband and wife is Enemy creditors ,this life is paid for past life mistake,family also like this ,family people is paid love to each other,because they hurt each other before.....
• India
6 Feb 10
the main reason why couple fight is the misunderstanding between them.they dont try to undertand each other.and sometimes communication gap also creates some problems.ya it also happen when u start regret why u marry his/her.
@verabear (797)
• Philippines
6 Feb 10
I guess there could be many reasons. One of the most common is when expectations are unmet. There are two people in a relationship and one always has expectations of the other. If this is not communicated properly, the other is bound not to fulfill those expectations. For example, if I say that I'm having a headache, I actually expect my boyfriend to give me a massage or something. But he doesn't know that and does nothing. I would sulk and feel bad! If I hadn't a headache I probably would've started a fight. Another example, he says he's hungry and he expects me to help find him food but I don't. I say help yourself to the ref. He feels bad about it and stalks off. Haha. Something like that.
• India
6 Feb 10
The main reason is possessiveness.................
• Indonesia
6 Feb 10
I think in marriage there will be many things that can be a triggers of a fight. For example, lack of attention from the couple can trigger a fight too. I think when people get married, they will show all the things that they never show when they were in a relationship. When they were in a relationship, they can be give all attention that they have for their couple, because if they don't do that they can lose their couple. But in marriage, I think they must be thinking that they already have each other, so they don't need to have an extra attention for their couple in their marriage. And when the couple feel the lack of attention, they will think many negative thinking for example, they will think maybe their couple have an affair, etc. Well to have a good marriage, i think the couple should understand each other, avoid all misunderstanding.
• Philippines
6 Feb 10
hello, you really point out the # 1 reason why couple always do fight... finance problem... me and my hubby sometimes having deeply dicsussions about this matter.. but don't let your marriage ruin it just for this... all problems come up with great solutions,, be patient.. :)
• United States
6 Feb 10
Mostly from disagreements or saying something stupid is the was most of our arguements start. They are few and far between but we still have our issues even being married. We have made it through alot and the arguements have brought us closeas well as made or relationship stronger
@emediloy (701)
• Indonesia
6 Feb 10
i don't regret to marry my current hubby and i'm sure he doesn't too. we are sometime arguing something, but it doesn't mean we don't love each other anymore. some couple often fight because of having different views. they are two different personality with different characters. but i'm sure its just a temporary time.
@___SKY___ (542)
• Hong Kong
6 Feb 10
Mostly They fight because of dissimilarities and yes anyone has own opinion too! One more thing is wrong way is they get married without truly knowing each other and after they live alone, they will found the real attitude of each other and it is the cause of fighting and misunderstanding. Nice Topic.. Happy Lotting.
@raynejasper (2326)
• Philippines
6 Feb 10
..In any relationship, may it be boyfriend-girlfriend or husband and wife, there will always be fights and misunderstandings.. And it results in fights because naturally, both parties have their own opinions and views.. and during those times when both cannot agree with each otehr, misunderstanding comes in.. fights could begin even in smallest things.. but most of the time, big fights that could result to separation usually involves financial matters and third party affairs.. As of this time, I think I have some regrets in my husband.. Maybe because in the first place, we married with the wrong reasons.. I was pregnant then and in my country and in my family, they are always concerned with dignity and preserving reputation.. How I wish I had the guts to speak up before because I feel like I don't to get married and I just love my baby.. Anyhow, I am praying and hoping that despite of the things happening with my marriage right now, things will still work out right so that this marriage won't be broken.. after all, it was my decision and I have to face the consequence.. I guess I just have to do my best to make this family intact..
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
6 Feb 10
Me and my hubby had quite an disagreement this morning and it ended up in both of us beign angry and hurt. But we still do love each other and we might be angry for the rest of the day. You have to have these little skirmishes once in a while, as married life is not really moonshine and roses everyday. You just have to deal with it and make sure that you make peace before the end of the day. It is very important as it is not a good thing to go to bed angry at each other. But, as angry as i am now, and believe me, i am realy ANGRY, i do not have regrets towards my hubby and i am sure he feels the same way.
@nocturn98 (956)
• Venezuela
6 Feb 10
It's different for every couple. Some fight over the simplest things like being lazy, jealousy, misunderstandings... Most reasons involve money. In my case, we usually fight because I might have said something stupid that I wasn't aware about.
@Boyetski (989)
• Philippines
6 Feb 10
Fighting is best phrased as communication. Couples communicate to understand each other. ex: "I dont like it when you wear black lipstick" then they argue. That's how we communicate to make each other understand our discomfort and our comforts. Any relationship will end up on the ground if they dont "Fight"