Are you in favor of Arranged Marriage?

@kyel_11 (1069)
Philippines
February 7, 2010 1:58am CST
Hi mylotters. What is your stand in the issue regarding arranged marriage? Are you willing to sacrifice your true love or will you fight for it? For me, i am not in favor of arranged marriage because i believe that we have the freedom to choose who we want to marry. I strongly disagree in certain situation that the parents are the one looking for someone to marry their children. This situation only shows selfishness since they do not even consider the feelings of their children. I just don't like the idea that other people are deciding who you should marry, but in fact, you MUST me the one doing it.
1 person likes this
28 responses
@udayrao2 (782)
• India
8 Feb 10
They say marriages are made in Heaven - so why worry and fret? And I also believe that it is destiny- you always end up with a life partner destined for you before-hand. Anyway, in either of the two, arranged and love marriages, there are equal chances of quarrels, arguments, etc but the time they crop up may differ!! and for that matter there is no guarantee of no break-up in either; it is a pure relationship where one has to be flexible and adapt to each other, barring very horrid/ terrible situations which become intolerable. And I also feel that every parent wants their children to be happy & that is why they try to get an arranged marriage where they either know the family well otr have done their bit of research on the family background,etc.; while mostly in love marriages, it could be an infatuation turned into love or pure love itself between just the two and the impressions could have been in just a few meetings when the true character of the person does not come out at all.
@kyel_11 (1069)
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
so you're in the middle?
@udayrao2 (782)
• India
8 Feb 10
yes in a way, you can say that as both have merits and demerits
@udayrao2 (782)
• India
8 Feb 10
and oh by the way I forgot to add -= mine was arranged - and happily married since 1972, so was my elder daughter's since 1998 and my younger daughter prefers we parents arrange hers too - as she seems confused but relies on the old tested method!!
• India
7 Feb 10
I always prefer love marriage but at this moment I am for arrange marriage......
@kyel_11 (1069)
• Philippines
7 Feb 10
why are you in the arranged marriage at this moment?
• India
7 Feb 10
hi i don't understand.. you prefer love marriage but u r for arranged?? can u pls explain
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
hi!!! am really curious why you're on a arrange marraige...
@Aaleexix (2291)
• India
7 Feb 10
Actually everything happens in our life is prearranged. We all are like the poppet and dance on the fingertips of the God. Love is also consequences of the big Drama of the great director. And the director is the God. Before falling in love lovers are also unknown to each other. And in the arrange marriage also people can love each other. I am not against the love marriage but I think that arrange marriage is also not bad. There is bad effect of the love marriage also. If we fall in love and then find that we are not able to continue life long relation then? So it is best to accept all those that is coming to us .
• Venezuela
7 Feb 10
If you fall in love and not able to continue the relationship then still there was love that started that relationship. And that love might still be hope for that relationship. In arrange marriage, what is it that binds that relationship together? Love? Money? Parents?
@Aaleexix (2291)
• India
7 Feb 10
Love but unable the carry a relation then what the value of love. Secondly all everything in life is depend on the situation. And each situation we the people react. Relation based on love is best. But love is appeared after the relation is built. Even in love relation too.
@siliguri (4035)
• India
8 Feb 10
Yap, I'm favor of arranged marriage i believe that In arrange marriage the couple remain more happy than love marriage. The parents has full rights to seek someone to marry with their child. They are the parents every thing they do for their happiness of their child. Parents know better what is good or bad. I strongly in the favor of arranged marriage.
@kyel_11 (1069)
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
okay. i respsect your opinion. but why do you say that couple remain more happy? i know some situations that ended up separation because those arranged couples did not get to know each other very well so they did work out. so what's the happiness in this situation? thanks for the response and happy mylotting
@saanjh (784)
• India
8 Feb 10
Hello friend, why you think that arrange marriage not good. I'm from India our culture is arrange marriage and I feel that successful marriage depends on your feeling not depends on love marriage or arrange marriage. my mom dad has also done arrange marriage but they understand and care for each other. The parent are the one looking for someone to marry their children how can you say this is selfishness. Our parents never think bad about us because they love us. if you will do love marriage and your husband cheat's you then your parents will never cheat you.
@kyel_11 (1069)
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
i respect your opinion so you might as well respect mine. always remember that there's no wrong opinion after all. what i said here is just my preference. i'm not saying those things to attack other cultures. i said those things because that's what I believe in. i know parents know best but do they know our feeling inside? can they tell what you feel deep inside without saying a thing or without doing any actions to show how you really feel? i don't think so. thanks for the response. happy mylotting
@gracce (335)
• India
8 Feb 10
Arrange marriges are not so bad, our parents think about us, concern about us,& the world they are showing is not all about love, it about happiness,care,financial freedom, socital support ,family support,etc, if my parents choose a person who is really good for me & ofcourse my thinking & his thinking is same then i will go for arrange marrige but if someone already is in my life who love & deserve me & fulfill all the requirements which my parents accept for me then i will go for love marrige no matter my parents are against it because if i'm happy then one day they will definitely accept me & my life partner.
@kyel_11 (1069)
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
so then, it's still your choice, not your parents'. because even when your parents are against them, you will fight for the one you truly love. thanks for the response. happy mylotting
@anjohanna (156)
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
No, we have free will, and that's one of the most wonderful things god has given us. With the arranged marriage, you won't be able take advantage of it. I know there are cultures that has that rule, but you know, marriage is more wonderful if you share it with the person you really love. Vice versa.
8 Feb 10
To be honest, my parents had an arranged marriage.Personally though, i feel times have changed
@kyel_11 (1069)
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
so what changes have you encountered so far?
@ghieptc (2527)
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
I certainly disagree of arrange marriage. This is my own life and will handle it on my own in the future.Whomever I want to spend my life with I am who will decide for it.Whatever circumstances I will be facing in the future with my chosen partner it is us who will decide for it. I also think that every culture like Chinese or Indians prefer arrange marriage for their security of which we should respect.
@kyel_11 (1069)
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
correct. parents can just guide us but they can't dictate our decision about this matter. yes we should respect other cultures. thanks for the response. happy mylotting
@nocturn98 (956)
• Venezuela
7 Feb 10
Arranged marriage is stupid. Where is the love in that? It is a selfish act for the parents to do this to their children. Well if you have butt ugly kids it may be advantageous to you to ensure them that they will get married someday.
@kyel_11 (1069)
• Philippines
7 Feb 10
i strongly agree with you! this arranged marriage is really stupid thing to do. i will never ever do this for my children-to-be when i have my own family. i will always consider their feelings when deciding about marriage, it's their lives and all i have to do is guide them, but the decision is still in their hands.
• Taiwan
8 Feb 10
i got marriage is depend on my mind ,and my family is not agree,these years pass , i must say ,the marriage is more complex than i con think abou before,a simple marriage get so many people to be a big family ,if they dont like each other,the life way ,so sometimes the marriage must be a cool mind ,your parents maybe is right,love will not hot anymore,and several year go your husband or wife will be a stranger man and woman ,they are not the one you imagine the perfet one
@apples99 (6565)
• United States
8 Feb 10
No I'm definitely not in favor of arranged marriages because its hard enough to make a chosen un-arranged marriage work, let alone a marriage that is arranged by someone else. I've said this before I believe that no one has the right to choose or tell a person who to love or marry its dificult enough without being made to marry, and I think people should always be able to make there own decisions about marriage, and I'm very thankful that I have the freedom to choose who I want to be with and or marry. meaning no disrespect to those cultures who still have arranged marital tradition's I'm just saying that I dont believe in it.
@youless (65345)
• Guangzhou, China
8 Feb 10
I am not in favor of the arranged marriage, too. That is because you have to marry the one you love, rather than the one who others love. This is your own marriage and you are the one who make the decision. If you don't love this person, how can you marry him/her and I am afraid you will not feel happy in your rest life. I love China
• India
8 Feb 10
i for one used to believe love marriage is the best but after few experience i feel arranged marriage is the best bet . Parents always make a good choice and i have started believing in that concept . U can start new innings and start loving ur partner after marriage cheers
@zzyw87 (1264)
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
I agree with you. I also don't favor arranged marriages. For me, arranged marriages is so old-school. It should belong to the past already. In these modern times, there is more democracy and freedom. This includes freedom to choose who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage is important. With this, you should be able to choose the person you want to grow old with and not your parents. Your parents are not the ones who are spending the rest of their lives with the guy.
• Philippines
8 Feb 10
I am a person who always follows my heart.I have lived this way, got hurt so many times for being this way, was happy sometimes being this way..no regrets at all. Cause i can't imagine myself hugging or kissing somebody that i dont realy love. Even if u have all the luxuries in life , when your heart is empty, everything is useless and worthless. But if you're living with someone u love and loves u too, a shanty would be a mansion for you, and a small fish would taste roast beef. (^_^)
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
7 Feb 10
I am partially in agree with the arranged marriages,as I have seen many successful arrange marriages in my surrounding.Though most of them are old aged couples. However,I don't believe that love will be developed later after marriage,if the mentality of two people are completely different.. It becomes very tough to get married to someone whom you don't love. The reason why we get married is because we are deeply in love. It is very important to know the person better before you are going to marry as it will be for life. If the guardian are very dominating,then its better to opt for arranged and then love marriage....
@ian1979 (47)
• Philippines
7 Feb 10
Getting married is a very major decision in a person's life and this should not be dictated by other people.. Marriage is sacred and should be consummated by two adults who love each other completely. This should not be forced to anyone, for any reason at all..
@qamarep (4453)
• Pakistan
7 Feb 10
yes i am in favour of the arrange marriage . if you cannot be in love with the girl you are married by arranged marriage then you canot love anyone.
• Philippines
7 Feb 10
For me, arranged marriage sucks. SOrry for the word but I am not in favor of arranged marriage. Marriage is sacred and we must respect it. We should not be playing if we are talking about love..