Moms, how will you react in a situation like this?

Philippines
February 15, 2010 12:07am CST
While I was preparing my children's (two daughters ; 1 yr and 5 mos and 2 yrs and 6 mos)clothes before going to attend a mass,they were left with the two nannies in their room. Just as I was about to call them to finally put on their clothes,I heard a very loud bang and was shortly followed by my younger daughter's loud cry. I hurriedly went into their room to check on my daughter who's still crying. I asked the two nannies what happened while carrying and comforting my daughter,they just simply told me they hadn't noticed she was falling from the bed because they were also preparing on what to wear. I haven't asked them any further questions but deep inside I was so angry for their negligence. I couldn't turn back the time either for them to supposedly watch my daughter closely. If you were on my shoe,how would you react?
1 person likes this
11 responses
• United States
16 Feb 10
I am a mother of a 5 year old and a 2 year old also. I think it was an honest mistake but if it were me I would let them know that I am dissapointed and that they need to be more careful so that these types of things don't happen. That is what you have them there for so that they can be your eyes when you are not around. Im pretty sure they are very sorry about it though.
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
they knew right away that i was angry and disappointed. they were sorry and everyhting was settled. i told them i dont want it to happen again. kids are really like that though,accidents are unpredictable also..so kids that age are expected to fall even if utmost care is given.
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
I am not a mother yet but I observed my nephews being taken cared of by their nannies and there a few nannies whom I trusted but I never gave them my full trust. Most of the time nannies could be negligent because I think they dont actually care about the kids they are taking care of because, its not their own. I didnt like my nephews nanny when I found out she was slapping my nephew on the face. It made me angry but before doing something, I have to prove first that she's really hitting him. And I have proven it, told my sister about it and we have to send her away. Just take a close monitoring of your kids and your nannies. You dont really what they're up to but just try to be cautious around them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
yes there are nannies that are like that and there are really instances that that would happen because like what you've said,they dont really care as mothers do because its not their own. but sometimes when youre lucky enough,there are nannies who are really sincere in caring for your kids. the best thing to do is just to monitor them,treat them well also so they will feel the same way to your kids and to the family. learn to trust them and never miss the chance to remind them of their duties.
@MrsWalz (24)
• United States
16 Feb 10
Personally, I would have been very upset with BOTH nannies and I would have had a conference with both of them together and separately. I would have explained what is expected from both of them and let them know that it is their job to not only babysit but to help protect the children from themselves and others. I would explain to them the reason they were hired was because they presented themselves as capable. I would give them an opportunity to explain to me why they should continue being employed. And I would heavily weigh their answers and if they met my expectations I would give them another chance. If not, I would simply dismiss them or the one that didn't meet the requirements.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
yes i as upset thinking that there were two of them to watch my kids. but anyways,its settled..we've talked it over and everything is fine. i clearly told them that it cant happen again. they know what their duties are and i can see that they are sincere. i treat my nannies as member of the family,i dont want to sound so strict. i want them to feel how i feel for my kids..i should love them as well so they will get better as nannies of my kids.
• United States
16 Feb 10
I would have to say wow. It took 2 of them to find clothes? I can watch my kids find there clothes and dress them and know what they are doing at all times. My kids are 1, 3, and 5. I think you should say something to let them know you are upset that they both weren't paying enough attention to the children when that is first priority. I would also get some of those cam that they make to make sure that they are really doing their job so that you aren't paying someone who is not watching them at all.
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• Philippines
17 Feb 10
yes thats what i was thinking also..that made me angry as well..the thought that there were two of them who watched my kids. but i know accidents do happen anytime no matter how careful you are..we've talked about it already and they were forgiven. my kid was okay as well.
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• Philippines
15 Feb 10
I think I will buy their excuse. I will tell them that at least one of them should keep an eye for my kid since they are called NANNIES in the first place, right? so its better to tell them outright what you should expect from them and there shouldn't be the next time of negligence. by the way im a mom myself and i dont have nanny coz i had experience abt it before where they dont watch my son which she's suppose to do. so i decided to take care of my sons myself.
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• Philippines
16 Feb 10
yes,my husband already told them they should have done that. i wanted to take care of my children as well,but i have to work. im a working mom and its hard for me to monitor my kids and my nannies..all i have is trust. so far,my kids are okay..they're happy and perfectly fine and healthy. if given a choice,i would really love to take care of my children personally,but finances cant be handled by my husband alone.
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• United States
15 Feb 10
Wow, these things do happen very fast. I understand you completely for being angry. They just happen sooo fast and its always going to happen sometime in a child's life. I think out of anger they would've been fired on the spot. If you can't let it go then I think you should let them go. Its all about trust and if you can't trust them to watch your children every second then theres a problem. There were two nannies so I don't understand how it could happen. If there was only one nanny then I would have alittle understanding.
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• Philippines
16 Feb 10
yes it does,but its normal to react in such way. thats it,i trust my nannies. they were there with us for quite sometime already and as far as i can remember it was the first time that it had happened. and yes,i was also thinking how it could have happened when there were two of them watching,but anyway it was an accident..blaming cant bring the time back and prevent it from happening.
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12605)
• United States
15 Feb 10
They sell nanny cams. I would invest in a few. And place them around the home. Then record the goings on. So you will have a better idea of how the children are actually being cared for when you aren't around. It may give you some peace of mind.
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• Philippines
16 Feb 10
yes,thank you for the suggestion. but that would be the last thing i'll do when the incident happens again. i know its a great help but as much as possible i would like to have trust in my nannies. you see in our place here in the Philippines,you can seldom see things like that especially in our place.. but yes,i'm open to investing one when it calls for it.
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• Bulgaria
15 Feb 10
I don't know, these things happen for seconds. Sometimes you even can't notice when it happen or this is happening in front of your eyes and you're just not fast enough to do anything. If I were you I'd be affected too, but I know it can happen even if you're very careful. So I'd just keep in mind this case and trace if the nannies are looking after good for the kids and this was really an accident or they just negligence their duties permanently.
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• Philippines
15 Feb 10
yes i know,in fact it happened to me also while i was the one watching for my kids,even my husband did. but its a different feeling when that happens from someone else like nannies. im the mom,i know its normal to feel that way. anyway,we've settled that thing already,i took their apology and their explanation..my husband did the confrontation when he went home.
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@Hatley (143039)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Feb 10
nancyanne if I were in your shoes to begin with Iwould not be able to afford one nanny let alone two, so this could not happen unless I took my eyes off one child and in a split second she fell off the bed. I would really forgive them as accidents can and do happen and i am sure neither one of the nannies wanted your girls to get hurt. but why were you not caring for your own children as we do here in the USA, for us to have two nannies would be very costly. specially if the mom is home any way. I would never have wanted to have nannies caring for my two babies anyways.I think we are talking two different cultures here, sorry I got carried away but I did so enjoy my kids when they were that age but in your culture you of course do things much differently, sorry to sound harsh as I did not mean to.
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
hi hatley,i got your point. what happened to my kid was an accident,as i've said i trust my nannies that much for they were with me for quite sometime and that was the first time it happened and i can see that they sincerely care for my kids. and they are really nice. i was just normally acting as a mom when that happened..who would have wanted to let their kid get hurt,no one right? anyway,i wanted to clear something which you might need to know. your culture in the US you pointed out which probably means that you prefer to take care of your child rather than having nannies take care of them. yes i believe thats the ideal thing to do.. we dont have much of a difference here as well,in fact most of moms here in the philippines i believe does take care of their children personally. i believe im only one of the few who is left with no choice than to work rather than staying at home due to so many financial reasons. i cannot just let my husband work alone because his earnings cannot compensate our financial needs thus forcing me to work instead. having nannies here is not that costly as yours there (i know this thing because i have relatives who live there. i earn enough to pay for my nannies and much more i can help my husband with our finances. of course i do have lots of time to take care of my children..its not what you think of like 24/7 round the clock to work. if given a chance and if given more than enough money to finance my family a lifetime,OF COURSE i will choose to take care of my kids personally and not to hav nannies. hoep this would clear things up. its not how bad i am if thats what you think. thank you for the comment hatley. im glad you do think of that way..its really a great feeling to be a mom and yes i agree that children that age are really enjoyable and cute..and moms should never miss this time to spend with their children.
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
filipinos are family oriented...so much so that even when they grow up and have families of their own,they still live with their parents. ;)
@raynejasper (2326)
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
..hi nancyanne.. I'm also a mother of a little child and if that happens to me, I'd verbally reprimand the nannies.. one of them should have been watching the children while one is preparing for their clothes.. I don't think that's difficult enough.. I would show them that I'm disappointed so that next time, they will be more careful.. although it may not be their fault, but they should be more keen next time around to avoid further accident most especially that those are children adn children are very sensitive..
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
hi rayne.. you see i try not to get angry too much with nannies since they were there for me for quite sometime and looking for nannies could me harder. but i did show them i was disappointed,indirectly though. i know they've learned enough from that. i was just being a mom,its an initial reaction for us to get angry. thank you for the comment.:)
@trina48D (88)
• United States
21 Feb 10
Is this something that happens often or is it an infrequent occurrence? If it rarely happens try to remember that mistakes happen to all of us. It could have very well happened with you in the room. Tell your nannies how much it bothers you but encourage them in there duties and give them room for error to a point. It probably bothers them as well and if it doesn't they should not be in the nanny business.