Why should i always be nice to others?

Hmmmm, sticky situation. If being frank doesn't help, then feign a headache or something and call it a day.. it works, trust me.

My initial reaction to your post was, "chill out, kid" but upon reading the other posts and the elaboration on what actually happened, I started getting a little ticked off myself. As I've gotten older, this doormat has continued to lie flat on many occasions, depending on the circumstances. Now, however, if pushed far enough, the doormat can and will jump up and slap or trip someone. I for one am sick of having people wipe their feet on me. For your own sake, though, saphrina, if you choose, as in this case, to speak up, always do so, as you tried to, privately and as gently as you could. On the occasions where I felt it was "no more ms nice guy" I would often feel badly afterwards if I wasn't "nice" about it!!!

Hi Saphrina, You say she was getting into your cupboards and going through your stuff and this was your first time meeting her? That is just not right. I mean, I like people to feel comfortable and at home when they visit me. I have friends that will help themselves to a snack or a drink and it is perfectly fine. We are close enough that it's not a big deal. If someone that I had just met came into my home and got that cozy that quick then that would be a big huge red flag for me. I would say something for sure. If you don't the behavior will continue and maybe get worse. Next she'll be using your makeup and helping herself to your wardrobe. As for her tears, I wouldn't worry a bit. Her behavior was rude and disrespectful. Maybe no one has ever spoken up to her before. As for your friend, if you are really good friends then he will understand why you said something to her. If he condones how she treated you then he is just as bad and not very much of a friend. I think you should talk it over with him.

I tend to just keep quiet and avoid things myself.

cor saphrina i love ur name !! i am a nice girl never used to say a bad word and frankly was a doormat and i understand that its sooooooo hard n sooo much effort to be nice when u really wanna scream SHUT UP ARRRGGGHHHH!!!! lol or just me any who just saying that im not a doormat as such any more but havent many friends left but id rather quality than quantity be nice to who u think deserves it if not then bugger them!! x x x x x x x

you need not be nice all the times to all the people provided you are not a air hostess or a customer care executive or a call center executive....you have your feelings express them....

There is no angel in the world, and we can't expect others to be always nice to us. It is important that we should always tell others frankly what we think of them even though they may feel angry. I think there is no fault in you to tell your friend's girlfriend what you think about her. After all, you're being honest with her. You can talk to her later to tell her you care about her, and you just want her to be better and charming. Remember to be kind and open. I'm sure she will understand you.

i think that everyone notice the problem.although we often request ourself looks well in my heart.but someone's analysing has their opinion seems effect my figure.so i think that stay nice to everybody is necessary.but my request about this only keep clean and looks well,

Everything has a limit so why should you if there's no need to? Sometimes being considerate, polite, and to some extent acting stupid to avoid hurting other people's feeling is being taken advantage of. People who do this does not know how to appreciate hospitality or don't care about it just as long as they have the comforts they need. Acting nice when the other person don't deserve to is only encouraging him to continue doing so, hence, let him realize in a polite way that he is "going overboard", but, that is......if he will accept his lapses and understand your side of the issue.

They are coming to your house. So as friend you have to treat them nice with respect. But if they have done things in your own house which you do not like, say, to them in a nice way what you want without hurting their ego. Some people are sensitive by nature so careful to say words suitable to their temperaments. I will give to them my best way if possible without hurting them.

I can relate to you sabrina and I can attest that I was called and always described as a nice girl till I learn how to say what i really feel which made them upset,hence I'm not nice anymore. It is really weird how they characterize a nice person by being someone who can accept everything regardless if it's something that hurts me. I met a girl like that who thinks that i should be nice to her even if i am pissed at the situation, which is really unnatural considering that i didn't blame her or anything.I didn't call her names but i still was portrayed as a bad girl because i made her cry. I love this topic i can totally relate :)

You yourself are the best judge to this question. Tell me, would you have lost out in any way if you had not taken her aside and told her the truth about your feelings? It doesn't cost us anything to be nice to others. We don't have to like everybody we meet but just because we are not on the same wavelength why should we not be courteous? If our positions are reversed would we like it if others behaved with us in the manner we want to behave with them? The answer to this question is what should guide us in our interaction with others. That is my mantra in life.

iS being nice is to bad? this is the simple fact, no one or nobody can please any ANYBODY. all person have their own personality. some are nice some are rude being nice to other people is not a crime, sometimes people becoming to arugant. but still being nice is one point of your good attitude but being true to other by saying that not times your nice there's some point the people have their limitation, right but saying it to them in a NICEST way is this a POINT that you are a nice person Everybody say the "FIRST EXPRESSION, LAST...." That's why being nice to other person is not so bad People will realize that their doing was wrong, they commit or do something wrong. Being nice to other have it's positive traits. That why being nice is not so bad.... SMILE always.....

because you want people to be the same to you

hi SB,so this was the reason behind your some what serious reply.I always prefer the company of straight forward friends rather than those who keep on lying to us about every thing.I lost few of my friends coz of my straight forwardness---i spoke some truths about their girl friends which was wrong in their opinion and never liked my answers.but i pity them coz they do not have a big heart to take the truth---living in the disguise of a lie---is the worst and mean thing ever.so i stand by your side and you dont have to act nice to others just for the heck of it.TATA lol

no1 i am not a sit-down guy and listen to everything. everyone of us have been given tongue to speak out against things that we may found inconsiderable. besides, if you stay nice as always some people may take advantage of you as they expect that you will not fight back or defend yourself. being nice has its own considerations so it is not a must to be nice at all times.

No,definitely you don't have to be nice with people always.If somebody insults you some way or other,it belongs to your responsibility to make him/her understand that you are being insulted.Your purpose is to convey that the behavior is not acceptable to you,but that doesn't mean that you've to take a revenge,because that would mar an entire relationship which is takes a lot of things to build. In your case you could have make him understand the perpetual effects of using your household.If that doesn't work,you could have started using him things and if he was not ready,you could cry more than him just to show him the possible consequences.Simple.

You don't have to be always nice to others Saphrina. Sometimes, you have to show what you really feels for that particular person for him to now that he must have done something wrong which made you look mad. In the end, how will you know if you are really accepted as a friend to somebody if you don't show who you really are.? :)

you should always be nice cause for me, i believe in the code of hammurabi which is an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth. this only means that if you don't want others to do bad to you, you should therefore do good to them.

Everyone, everybody deserves to treat right every situation that naturally occur.. Being nice is well a good characteristic but for every play of it one must be aware if it is relevant to the moment.. Being "nice" and being "nasty" is every human being's nature... Picture this, be nice when the mood is good and be nasty when the mood is otherwise deserves it. BE NATURAL..