Do you scream and yell when you have an argument?

@simonelee (2723)
China
February 28, 2010 12:21am CST
Hello guys. When you and your partner argue, do you scream and yell? Some people do this even if they are in public places. People who are emotional often to this, they don't care what people can say. I've witnessed several scenes in schools and we just ignore it. It's their thing, not ours. I don't understand why they have to yell. Is it because they want their partner to listen to what she's/he trying to say??? or He/she just want an attention to prove that he/she is superior. Have you ever screamed to your partner? In my case, i haven't and i don't have plans at all. I just hope i can still control my emotions in able to avoid that act.
9 people like this
49 responses
@hofferp (4739)
• United States
28 Feb 10
I don't know why people scream and yell at other people, it doesn't resolve anything, make the situation better... I'm not a screamer, and if someone's screaming at me, I turn and walk away. Unfortunately, I had a boss who was a yeller. He usually wasn't yelling at me, but one of the other chiefs, but the rest of us had to listen to it. When he got in one of these yelling modes, I tried to make my brain do two things; one half would listen for my name, important facts, etc.; one half would try to play on the beach, ride with the dolphins...
@simonelee (2723)
• China
13 Dec 10
Hi there. I don't like to hear someone yelling cause i easily get affected and my temper rises and everything follows. My entire day will be ruined. That's one of the reasons why i don't like having a boss. Anyway, are you in a field that exposed to everyday stress? Maybe that makes your boss a dragon. When he's walking in the hallway or approaching everyone disappear and pretending that they are busy.
@hofferp (4739)
• United States
13 Dec 10
I'm retired now and I don't have to listen to the yelling. I'm much less stressed and much more calm. I understand it still goes on where I use to work, and if I had to go back, I seriously doubt I'd be able to handle it now. I'm not sure how I handled it when I was there. I'll be retired now five years this coming February and not dealing with the yelling and stress has been wonderful.
@lindsiko (358)
• United States
1 Mar 10
I don't really scream or yell when I argue with my husband. I'm the quiet passive agressive type. I did used to yell at my sisters when we would fight growing up, but I've never done that since I moved out of my parent's house. My boss and his wife tend to yell at eachother even while in the work place which to me is really unsettling.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
14 Dec 10
I guess most of us had a terrible fight with our siblings, it's part of growing up. But with your boss? I don't think its reasonable to fight in work place. How will their employees respect them if they them selves don't respect each other. No more privacy. I'm sure they're always the hot topic in the office. Aren't they a shame of their acts?
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
hi simonelee Yes, I once did. I screamed a lot, I even threw things away, it's out of anger..that is my way to at least lessen the anger inside, it's like im bursting so i need to throw and broke things for me to calm down But i won't do it in public.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
13 Dec 10
Oh! Don't you regret it after? I mean you throw your things that you've work so hard just to have it? Do you pick the things you throw? Do you throw things within your reach no matter how expensive and important that stuff to you? Never throw a mirror cause its bad luck.
@junrapmian (2172)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
No, I haven't yelled at my husband. It is always him who yells everytime he's mad. He'll at everyone in the house with matching curses. I really don't like this attitude of his, so what I always do is to go away from, I don't want to meet his temper as he might hurt me in the end, you know, there are people who cannot control themselves. When he has cool down, I talk to him and clear things out.
@simonelee (2723)
• China
13 Dec 10
Yes, there's a greater possibilities that it will end up physical. How do you manage this situation, when things are intense you are also tempted to defend your self? We can't avoid that our temper meet, right? When you talked to him does he listen to you? Did he accept your explanation? Cause there are instances that they don't even if your reasons are rational.
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
In my own personal experience, I have this tendency to raise my voice without even knowing it. I'm trying to avoid yelling with my partner because it will only stirs up more emotional tension. It is best to deal with an argument as soon as possible before it erupts into a major differences between two partners involved. Avoiding yelling would really help you a lot my friend. Hope this helps you in a little way.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
13 Dec 10
Oh! I don't yell at my partner. She prefer me to speak out than being quiet as if i don't listen. My partner hates it when i do nothing when there's an issue that needs to settle. I zip my mouth, isolate my self and cool down and when i come back as if nothings happened. But, when she's the one involve i ignore her until my system cool's down, and it took me weeks. Anyway, how's your temper now? Thanks for your advice though.
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
from my previous bf we often have arguments to the point that he always yelled on me knowing that his a man. what he know ws his the only person whose always right. and so i just ignore him and pretend to sleep. of course it makes him more angry nd he will go to bed angry but when we wake up i just give hm a hug and a kiss. his still angry but somehow he feel better than last night. maybe the time comes that i really cant take him anymore and i need to yelled him back and sad coz he left me without any words. his not really a good man for me and im so tired understanding him.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
13 Dec 10
Oh my! A short tempered man. Aren't you scared of him when he is mad and a possibility that he'll go physical? How long you've been together? So, when he shouted at you you just ignore him, surely its killing him. I think when you hug him in the morning after that terrible argument theirs a little regret why he did that to you.
@xannebull (1806)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
I don't have the guts to yell in public because of an argument which me and partner would have, it would be too embarassing and it will lead to regret soon after it subsided. I know how to control myself when I am angry and it would be better cool off if me and my husband could talk it out in a cool manner.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
13 Dec 10
hahaha yeah! It is definitely embarrassing especially when you are not used to that situation. Glad you both do know how to control it cause it is so hard to control one self in times like that. Especially when you are being insulted and thrown out words that are not pleasing.
@ralphido (843)
• India
28 Feb 10
well.. i guess you are newly married or something since you haven't had your first real fight yet.. you know love and hate are two sides of a coin.. so when you are angry with the person you love most, the intensity of hate also swells up.. you lose control of your senses and go to any level to make the other person look bad. but you don't need to get worked up about it.. after you have yelled and screamed your share,you should always find time to reconcile and make it up to your partner.. only then can you lead a successful married life.. for the record, i am not married,, just found the details in some book... enjoy mylotting...:)
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
13 Dec 10
Hey! I'm not married but I'm in a 7 year relationship. I haven't yell at my partner and I'm still hoping it won't happen cause she's sensitive. I don't want her to be hurt as well. I can relate on what you stated, "..make the other person look bad" Yes, i do this and i regret is afterward. I want my partner feel the same pain though i know she don't deserve it. I hate my self when i see her crying and in pain due to my actions.
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
I don't think I have ever screamed at my boyfriend. When we fight, we fight quietly, and usually, I'm just the one talking, he doesn't like to talk, and sometimes he even walks out. I hate that though, cause I don't like leaving something up in the air. I mean, if we fight about something, then I want it over and done with the same day. There is nothing that you can really not talk about if you do it calmly..
@simonelee (2723)
• China
11 Jul 10
Hmmm... me and your boyfriend are the same. I'm not the type of person who wants an argument. When me and my girl argue i just shut my mouth when i know my reasons are not valid and etc. I don't feel like talking because for me it will only worsen the situation(very opposite to my girl. She wants to settle everything before the day end). My partner wants me to say whats on my mind and voice out everything but i prefer to be quiet all the time. So, issues are often unresolved. Do you know what happened to us for being like that? We end up having heart problems at very young age... by not telling our heart aches.
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
I don't really mean to scream in public. It's just that my emotions are over powering me. If ever I have another boyfriend, I'll have my temper check all the time. Now that I know how far I could go through and not realize am doing it in public,
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
11 Jul 10
Really? Aren't you scared on what people can say about you? And after that intense argument when you're calm don't you feel like sorry for you self? Feel embarrassed? So how does your partner handle it? You really really have to think a million times before you do such thing. Don't over power your mind with your emotions. In your case you have to use your brain, not your heart. So, being like that often lead to break ups??
28 Feb 10
No, I can't yell. Never been, even though were not in public. It's embarrassing.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
1 Nov 11
Well, yes! Some people have the nerve doing it. We can't really tell unless we are in their situation. But think it depends on how we handle the situation and how our parents brought us up?
@lelin1123 (15647)
• Puerto Rico
28 Feb 10
I don't remember ever screaming at him because I'm not the type to scream especially in public. I'm a very private person and I don't ever like to make a scene. That is just not me. I will have an argument but it never becomes a screaming match. Screaming at each other is never going to solve the problem and can just make things worse in the long run.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
11 Jul 10
Yes. I agree with you. screaming and shouting with each other doesn't solve the problem, it will only worsen it. At least one of you have control over it. So how about your partner? Does he have a short temper? Have you tried being screamed by him?
@DOLLYBABY (2536)
• Jamaica
28 Feb 10
people,partner,spouse or couples doesn't scream and yell because of their emotion...normally when people scream and yell especially women it usually most times out of anger and also in a way of emphasing a point during an argument..as for me yes i have scream and yell at my husband...i even break things also...and at time when i get too angry i even cried cause am emotional...but all i do know is that i have a very bad temper and anger problem...which my husband and family always told me i need anger management...but lately am trying to control it because i do not wanna let my anger get the best of me....by the way i do not yell and scream out in public...cause i think that is too embarrassing...so at lease i have some sort of control over myself.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
11 Jul 10
Well, i know people who screamed because the person she's arguing with don't get the point that's why she has to do it to listen and to stop him from talking nonsense. Anger management? maybe you're temper is so shallow? Like if someone accidentally bump you you're temper will increase that easily? Are you that type of person? If yes, you badly needed it. You always get into trouble. So, how was your temper now? any positive improvement?
@fsll518 (304)
• China
28 Feb 10
Mostly I tend to repress my temper, even if I am the reasonable side. But I do worry when my beloved one is going to danger. I don't need mood outlet for my own reason. I can find peaceful solution, but i can't see my beloved one getting hurt because of her being stubborn.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
11 Jul 10
So how to you handle your temper? So, when everything is calm do you explain your side? Why did you say getting hurt because being stubborn? Do your beloved ones ended up in wrong decisions that lead her into trouble? Does she throw hings on you when she's mad?
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
Sometimes I am in the urge of shouting or raising my voice but I always have to control myself because I dont wanna be heard by other people. I dont like to think that people will badly think of me and my husband as a couple. Our house is also only a few steps away from my in-laws house and I dont wanna let them know that their son and I are having an argument. Though I must admit that I know that they know we always have arguments because they hear my husbands voice raise and I dont want it that it would be my voiced that's going to be heard shouting.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
11 Jul 10
Well, let your in-laws heard your husband voice but never yours because it may put a bad impression towards you. Remember that in-laws are always on their daughter/son's side no matter how valid your reasons are. Raising each others voice is no help. It will only worsen the situation. Good thing you have control over it. At least one of you can manage scenario. Hey, why don't you teach your husband a sign language?
@choybel (5066)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
We actually had one argument where I got all crzy and started screaming at her and I really really regret that. I told myself never to do that again. On several occasions I do raise my voice in arguments with my girlfriend but then I remember that crazy event so I try to remain calm immediately. Yet, I usually get hot-headed when having arguments with my parents or brothers. I think it runs in the blood, because I have noticed that all of us including and most especially my dad (before) are hot-headed. Anyway, I think it is not a good way to settle arguments, as it could end up to more hurt than good.
1 person likes this
@simonelee (2723)
• China
11 Jul 10
Hello, Choy. I don't know if it really runs in the blood. What i am sure of is that it may affect you and adopt it due to your environment. You where able to absorb it and act like like that. Once i was so patient when i comes to argument. I never raised my voice to anyone nor my girlfriend but when we move out to our place and transferred to a new place i become impatient, easily get irritated and short temper person. Why? Because my environment is noisy and we are unlucky to have neighbors who has no breed. Me, my mom and my brother changed a lot. I think this are the factors that influenced us. Now, I'm having a hard time to be me. To be a cool person as before.
@derek_a (10905)
1 Mar 10
I don't argue too much these days, but I have been known to shout, but not quite scream and yell. If we are having a strong argument and tempers are lost, then yelling and shouting are a way to let go of pent-up energies. The one thing that is true is that there are no winners of an argument at all. If there is, what have they won? Nothing much! _Derek
1 person likes this
• China
1 Mar 10
In my opinion,no matter when and no matter where,screaming and yelling is not a reasonable behavior,when we are not agreeable to the others' opinions,we should learn to be calm to think of things and exchange opinions with each other.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
1 Mar 10
It used to get quite heated when we argued and we would both be yelling in order to out shout the other and win the fight. Since we had our daughter it all had to stop because we knew that screaming matches in front of children are extremely damaging to them. Since we stopped the yelling and the cursing we have learnt to discuss rather than argue and if things still do get heated we wait until we are alone to have it out and eight times out of then but the time that happens we have both cooled down enough to be able to talk rationally and agree to disagree sometimes.
1 person likes this
1 Mar 10
I know there is no point in screaming and yelling until it is at its peak. Sometime it works but not always, it only creates problem.
1 person likes this