Making your responsibility my responsibility
By jules67
@jules67 (2788)
Philippines
February 28, 2010 10:28am CST
I do not believe that one needs to get married to make life complete. I am single by choice and in fact, I am a lot happier this way.
There is a misconception when you are single. Less complications in life, you are not doing anything at all are two of those things.
I have welcomed with open arms taking care for my niece's baby once in a while. Since she has 3 kids to take care of, for me, helping out is not hard at all. It was fun and there is joy seeing a small kid grow. I think that I must have spoiled this kid a bit.
Since the day I started taking care of the kid, I have not heard the two most precious words from them. The word thank you. I was even blamed for spoiling her. I heard my niece's mother said so. At most times, probably because they have been used to me taking care of the kid, they have made it already my responsibility. Even when I was busy, they will bring the kid to me to take care of without asking if it were just fine with me. And it had caused a disagreement between us. They knew how much love I feel for the kid that is why they neglect her, to a point of prioritizing the two other kids over the other one. I guess that they think that I will be there to come to a rescue.
I wonder a lot of times, why bring kids into this world and not have the guts to take care of them? Why is it that they still have the guts to find fault in me even despite of the fact I have extended my help to them? Have I allowed it all to happen?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
1 Mar 10
Sounds like you are being taken for granted and that is not fair! What is also not fair is the way they treat the particular child you are referring to. It is good that the kid is getting attention from you but the child needs her parents’ attention more than anyone’s. Your niece and her husband are taking you for granted and have not bothered to show their appreciation for all you do for them which is a lot by the sound of it. If I was you I would distance myself a little, by all means I would still make quality time for the child but I would not be readily available every time they decide to drop the baby off to you.
1 person likes this
@jules67 (2788)
• Philippines
1 Mar 10
Thanks for your comment. I was also thinking of the same thing that you are suggesting - to distance myself. The thing that I should be most concern of right now is myself. I should have not let this happen like what is happening now. This is to end now. They got into marriage and have kids, they should know the responsibilities that entail in it.
1 person likes this
@rapunzelcat (271)
• United States
28 Feb 10
I'm sorry your family is treating you this way. It sounds like the saying "No good deed goes unpunished" applies here. There is another saying, "No one can take advantage of you without your permission." I'm in a similar situation and it's hard to just put your foot down and refuse to help any more, if you're worried the child might suffer as a result.
@jules67 (2788)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
Hi thanks for responding. When I read your second saying, it hit me. I thought that maybe I had permitted them to do it. But you know what, I am the type of person who would make snide remarks if I do not feel good about what is being done to me. You are again right that it is hard to refuse to help anymore because of the child.
I just hope and pray that they will realize that I also have my own life to live. I am not totally abandoning the child because I have already treated her as my own. But they should also realize that they are a bigger part in this responsibility. Raising a kid is something that should be done seriously.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
28 Feb 10
maybe they are jealous of the freedom you have. i am not saying that you do this but sometimes single people flaunt their singleness, as if to say they are more lucky. maybe this is the reason why the act this way towards you. just some alternative food for thought.
