Can ex-lovers be best friend?

Philippines
March 2, 2010 9:43am CST
It's very difficult, Possible yes. Because of issues? probably, if you aren't open with being friends with your ex. Unless the two of you were the best of friends before.both broke up on the same terms in a perfectly mutual break up, both have no qualms about either of you seeing new people. It might be a better idea to leave thing with pleasant memories of the other person.its difficult but it depend to the situation.. What do you think?
2 people like this
22 responses
@maximax8 (27048)
2 Mar 10
I think it is possible to be best friends with an ex-lover. If would happen when neither has romantic feelings for the other one. It would be that the couple split up and then didn't have any hurt feelings. The pair might have the same hobbies in which case would suit them perfectly. Sometimes a male and a female are friends for two years and then they begin a relationship. The opposite could quite easily happen. It would be excellent to build up some pleasant memories. I dated a lovely man for eight months. We split up in the February and then in the June of that year we became best friends. We met up every month and had some superbly enjoyable times. We stopped seeing each other in December of that year. My life was in a different area and he was busy with his work. I smile when I remember the happy times we had as best friends.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Mar 10
really? nice to hear that.. thnx for response god bless
1 person likes this
@phoenix8606 (4978)
2 Mar 10
hi! I think ex-lovers can be friends, but i don't think they can be best friends, just because after breaking up, i don't think they will respect each other the way they must, if they were best friends
1 person likes this
• India
2 Mar 10
ya they cant be best friends it is not possible for them to be friends also . they wont like to talk to each other . more over if they still talk to each other they will only fall in love with each other and they cant be friends . once they become ex-lovers most of them will see themselves as enemy but not friends . i dont think they can be best friends . .
• United States
3 Mar 10
I think it all depends on the terms that you relationship ended on. If it was a mutual decision, then there is a good chance you can still be friends and watch out for each other. If, on the other hand, the breakup was one sided, either yours or their decision, and the other party still has strong feelings than it may be more of a tricky situation. In this instance there is a chance that one person may not want to let the other go and will constantly try anything in their power to re-start the relationship. Regardless of the terms, only the two people involved can really make the decision as to whether or not they will be happy being just friends.
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
Unfortunately i don't think it is possible to have a close relationship with our ex at the same time. It is possible to have a casual relationship with them,calling for birthdays and inquiring about their family
• India
3 Mar 10
Hi missycra, Yes,it can definitely be done.It's all about a petty mutual break up,that raise a lot of thoughts around.They simply put your fingers crossed from taking the step.But there is nothing better than maintaining a steady relationship in life.Think of a situation like old age.The only thing that is left on earth for you is your memories past,be it sweet or bitter.It's up to you whether you are going to regret the loss of a relationship.Or making a call to your lover-turned-best friend?listening to her old but sweet voice again?I think,you'll feel again that the world is for you after spending so long a life!Please,don't loose a relationship,anyway.
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
you are absolutely right.. thnx for response god bless
• India
3 Mar 10
To me it is very difficult to see a ex-lover as a friend. We were very emtionally with each other and the feeling was totally different and I thinj feelinf re not like cloth you change any time. Whenever i meet him my mind give me jerk to went into the past time which I shared with him/her.
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
You know i did it my ex is my friend because since high school we're close friend. that's why when we broke up we still continue our friendship were close. oh i miss here as a friend only.. thnx for response god bless
@EARLZHAN (938)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
Hi there friend. It depends upon the situation if you already have a new partner or you're still single. Well if you already have a new partner it can be possible but it will be very complicated. In some relationships, there are time to say goodbye and usually the only way to forget the past is to move on. Having a close relatioship with your ex might cause another problem with your current relationship and you'll just end up with two exe's, Yes you've shared memories with your ex that will either make you happy but it's different now that you already have a new partner. So it's time to take your experiences, put them in your back pocket and move on. I some situations parting wcouples feel the need to promise to stay friends which ultimately leads to more broken promises. Now lets come to the situation that you are still single and you don't have a new partner. Well it's okay to be friends with your ex. Maybe being friends with him/her will be the reason for you to fall inlove with each other again.
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
yah you're right thnax for response
@ElsaElsa (327)
• United States
2 Mar 10
This discussion reminds me of the TV series Friends. In the series the characters Ross and Rachel are best friends, were lovers, became ex-lovers yet they could never get over their relationship together that caused a lot of unsuccessful relationships with others. One always seemed to be interferring with the other's plans to move on. So based on the show which reflects reality quite a bit, I have to say no. Ex lovers can't be best friends because there is always something there that prevents them from being a true whole friend due to their history.
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
I think it is depends to situation or for the kind of friendship they have..THANX elsaelsa
@primeaque86 (8113)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
I and my ex are very close now... so close hahaha... yes it is possible my friend... if you would just able to forget the past and let it written in your memory as if it is just a dream and start a new today, why not?
• United States
3 Mar 10
It depends if you got in an arguement or they been cheating on you. It would be very hard, maybe after a while, though.
@khalida (1130)
• India
3 Mar 10
hey! i dont think that they can be friends and normal like nothing happened cause mutual break-ups itself are rare though people might say so!
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
i guess it depends of the reason of break up or it depends if the other one hurt deeply that she cant accept him anymore. in my case, my ex become my best friend and become my boyfriend again as he showed how sorry he was to me. i saw him crying just to have me back knowing that i still love him and so i accepted him but as friend first, then he never failed me s he did everything to prove his love to me. and so i accepted him again. i just hope someday we can be together and i cant wait that day to come.
@ralphido (843)
• India
3 Mar 10
well.. personally I know of no one who have ever actually managed to pull that one off.. when its a break up , its a break up.. you can hang around each other as friends only until you meet someone else.. if you try to be friends, either you will get back into the relationship or have a complete shakedown losing what self respect you have for each other and cannot even be in talking terms..
• India
3 Mar 10
Its very difficult for the ex lovers to become friends and actually not possible.. one or the other will surely have feelings for their loved ones.. so this is it..
• India
3 Mar 10
very difficult but it may be a good experience in sharing.
@piatos03 (397)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
For a week maybe. A month tops. I tried it with my ex. After the relationship, we tried being best friends. She was like a best friend to me during the relationship and I didn't want to lose that part of her. But it lasted for a week. That's it. When she found out that I'm going on a date. It stopped. Feelings are irrational and inconsistent. If you really want to be best friends with your ex, you need to separate your emotions from your thoughts. You may think that YOU CAN, but what about when you're put on the spot? When you see that she's moving on and you realize that you're still stuck there and someone's getting something that you once had but was stupid enough to lose. YOU NEVER KNOW HOW YOU'RE GOING TO REACT. The situation never matters. No matter how amiable the break-up is, it is impossible to be "BEST" friends with an ex. Friends maybe, acquaintances most definitely. But never best friends.
@Alivia (47)
• India
3 Mar 10
I think its not possible.whether mutual break up or not but break up is the main thing that means both are not compatible with each other and if it happens then again expectation will start growing between them and misunderstand appears and then again break up will take place.
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
It depends on how the two split up. If they broke up hating each other and the hurt being inflicted is great , the opportunity of becoming friends is very vague how much more to become best of friends. Most likely, there's already a gap that is impossible to mend especially when TRUST is being destroyed. For my part, I won't give him a chance to go near me.
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
Yes, its possible but we also need to consider our current partner, it will be more hard for them, some partner may take it but others cannot, it depends with their personality. But if there is no present partner, and you separated in good terms then I don't see anything wrong.. especially if both of you have something special insideyou are blind of issues if you're in love.
@Andyvil (793)
• Philippines
3 Mar 10
Yes it is possible. I am still close friends with some of my exes. Even if my relationship with them has ended it doesn't matter cause we still trust each other. The only time I don't want anything to do with my ex is when we break up because of infidelity. I don't want to be friends with someone whom I can't trust.