Do u agree that a couple should get married simply because the girl is pregnant?

@grkelly (1216)
Malta
March 15, 2010 1:35am CST
Some young couples tend to be forced to get married because the girl was expecting a baby. This was more the case in past years as nowadays the trend is more conhabitating rather than marraige. But do you agree with that scenario just to maintain religion and tradition? Is it best for the baby?
1 person likes this
15 responses
• United Arab Emirates
29 Mar 10
The religion in question is islam and the culture
• United Arab Emirates
29 Mar 10
and tradition is mostly found in middle eastern
• United Arab Emirates
29 Mar 10
and african countries and it has to be so,i think
• United Arab Emirates
29 Mar 10
they are not enlightened there so much and such
• United States
26 Mar 10
No, it's not. Forced marraiges usually don't last and if for some reason they do, there's tension and problems and a young child can pick up on that tension and act out. If you get an "oops" pregnancy, deal with it how you want. I lived with my husband for years before we got married. If I got pregnant before we were married, it'd have been no big deal as we planned on marraige eventually. I wasn't going to say I Do because I got pregnant. No woman should have to.
@grkelly (1216)
• Malta
27 Mar 10
Yes you are correct, very good reasoning. Marraige should never be an event caused by force but by mutual true love to be successful
@maximax8 (27954)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 10
In the past many couples married because the lady was pregnant and they wanted her to have the baby during married life. Marriages in the past seemed to last because both the lady and the man tried to make it work. They stayed together is good times and weathered through the bad times. These days co-habiting is the common pattern for many couples. If a lady gets pregnant the couple might move in together but necessarily be pushed into marrying. In some traditional cultures if the lady gets pregnant they are pushed into marrying by the girl's parents. Every baby and child deserves a happy life. It doesn't matter if the baby has one parent or two parents. One loving parent is fine and two loving parents would be a bonus. If a couple that have children get divorced in the next two years it can emotionally hurt the children. Therefore if a couple are not sure they will be successful they should not live together or get married. Splitting is easy if the couple are co-habiting but if they are married and they wish to divorce it is expensive.
@grkelly (1216)
• Malta
27 Mar 10
Yes it is true unfortunately many cultures and older people are very btraditionalist and do not accept this. However although having a baby before being married is not good and should not be encouraged it should not be a solution to get married by force.
@raynejasper (2326)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
..hi.. I'm one of the victims of the said tradition and I'd say that its not good.. after all, love should be the foundation of marriage, not because of a child.. There will be no happiness in the family if both are just living together because they have a child.. For me, a girl can just take care of the baby and the father can still share with her responsibilities in providing the child's needs.. rather than committing into marriage without any other reason than the child.. This is also one thing that elders should understand.. there's no point of entering into marriage if there's no love in it.. marriage is sacred and should be shared by in love couples, not merely because of a responsibility..
@grkelly (1216)
• Malta
27 Mar 10
You are right, and your reasoning is very good. Love is the basis. The most important thing is that the child is still given love by both parents hopefully even if they are not married
• United States
15 Mar 10
From my personal experience, I have to tell you that it was a mistake to get married simply because my ex was pregnant. Our marriage didn't work out and it has been hell trying to get a clean divorce. I recommend young couples wait until after they've had the baby and have matured a few years more as parents and adults before getting married.
@grkelly (1216)
• Malta
27 Mar 10
Yes i agree with you. The child should be given the best but that does not mean that the couple has to get married. After all the child may suffer much more from a bad forced marraige life.
@jcburrou (60)
• United States
1 Apr 10
I definitely think it would be better for the baby if the two were able to get along, but if it isn't what the man and woman want, then they shouldn't be together.
@ifa225 (11099)
• Indonesia
30 Mar 10
yes i agree, not just because the religion and culture but also for the blood line, a kid has to know about their real parents, not just a mother but a father too. when they are grow they must be ask a question about this.
@jeska87 (43)
• Philippines
29 Mar 10
I believe that marriage should be founded on love. With that premise, it doesn't matter if the girl is pregnant or not, for if there is no love in the relationship, how could the marriage work? Yes, there is a possibility that love would grow as you go along, but that is never an assurance. If the couple does marry just for the baby, I doubt the baby would grow up in a very healthy environment. In my opinion, it is not enough to just marry for the sake of a pregnancy - there has to be love between the couple as well. :)
29 Mar 10
NOOOOO. I dont think that two people should get married just because they are pregnant. Maybe if they were already going to get married, talked about marriage, started thinking about planning a wedding, etc. but not just because she is pregnant. I think that pregnancy can make or break a relationship. Having a child is one of the hardest things a person can do in their lives. If the couple isn't compatible, then when the child is born, all it will see is fighting, and it will feel the hostility in the home. I do realize that this can happen even to the best of couples. But it will be even more difficult is the couple is not compatible. Now, please realize that I am talking about the majority, I DO realize that there are those wonderful couples out there that DO make it through a pregnancy and are a great couple and family. But, I have seen many people/couples try to make it work when they are pregnant and all they ever do is fight and all the baby ever does is cry. It's a tough tough situation and should be viewed on an individual basis.
28 Mar 10
I don't believe a couple should get married just because the girl is pregnant - marriage should be for love not just because of the situation!
@atv818 (1988)
• United Arab Emirates
28 Mar 10
Marriage is a mutual agreement. No one should get married just because of the baby. Marriage should be done between two people in love. Otherwise, the marriage is bound to fail. It is best for the baby if his mom and dad would voluntary gets into the marriage because of Love.
• Boston, Massachusetts
27 Mar 10
Hi Grkelly, Pregnancy is not the main reason for one to get married. It will always be the feelings and both partners how they love each other and that they are ready to commit oneself to lifetime commitment of marriage. loving to grow old with the person you love. for me it will still love of both party to get married not pregnancy!
@ghieptc (2525)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I think it is the best because on the law of the society and to get their respect. Maintain religion and tradition is the good thing we had. If we can model the bible married life, it is good that we can learn from the mistake of other.
• Philippines
16 Mar 10
I don't really agree in getting married because you are expecting a baby, cause usually this just makes it more complicated, and some marriages fail before they even started and that it just makes it worse for the lives of the parents and the child. I think getting married should really be thinked about and planned, like having a baby.
• United States
15 Mar 10
I do not agree with this at all. My boyfriend and his ex wife got married when they found out she was pregnant, and they had only been together for three months. The marriage barely lasted over a year. They could've saved a lot of money if they wouldn't have gotten married. I don't know which is more expensive- a wedding or a divorce! My parents were never married, but when I was eleven years old, the got back together, and it was miserable. It put a strain on our whole family, so it is not always best for the baby.