House Guest Fron HELL.

Girl, you must have had the patience of a saint.

Nope, nobody yet. I'm thinking it's the brain cancer and how sad.... :-(

Well that is very sad friend. Its very hard when you know its likely the cancer messing things up in her brain. My mom aso had that and she was kind of mean and cantankerous with most people already but got worse as it progressed. Actually i wonder if she may have had it most of her life growing in there as she was just so different from her loving nurturing sisters. no one could ever figure out why she treated her only child so coldly. her sisters were like a bunch of foster mothers to me yes, my mom always acted that way when she visited. my first mom in law did also. id wait on her hand and foot. but special things for her to eat and nothing was ever good enough.i breathed a sigh of relief each time either of them went home.

Maybe she's frightened about her cancer but hasn't been able to verbalize it to herself or to you. Also, her cancer treatments, if she's having any, might make her nauseous when she eats. I doubt that she meant to behave as she did, but fear can make people do weird things. Complaining about your smoking might be her way of saying, "I don't want cancer to do to you what it's done to me." Why don't you give her a call and discuss it gently with her.

Sorry to hear about your friend. I also had experiences with pesky, unannounced visitors coming over to our house. I just hate it when they demand a lot about the food that they want, and sometimes those food that they want are expensive and should be bought outside. Not to say that we aren't hospitable, but I don't like how inconsiderate they are when they know that our family has a hard time on money these days. Your friend, however, is a different case than the one I've mentioned. You could have just made an effort to understand your friend and avoided smoking in front of her. Just understand her. She might not live for long (Brain CA has a poor prognosis) and maybe those things were her ways of indirectly telling you that she needs your pampering.

I know how terrible you felt after all you have been friends for a very long time. I do not make excuses for her rude behavior but when you have brain cancer or any kind of terminal illness you can be quite irritable and some do exhibit strange behavior. I guess she loves you too to be commenting on your smoking but she just did not know how to say it to you and was holding off to talking about health issues because she is going through something major. Cancer patients can be picky eaters please understand their bodies do not function very well and I know how hurt you were but please place yourself in her shoes. What is it like to have cancer? How do you think you would feel knowing its effects? I'm not siding with her because yes I think it was rather rude but people do use coping mechanisms to not feel bad or feel less than the rest. I think she miss your company or she would not bother to see you when she is that sick, but again she did not know how to show you in an appropriate manner.

HI Antiquelady, It is disheartening when you treat others nice and they don't appreciate what you do with them. If I have understood you well she has brain cancer, so i assume that it is a terminal illness right? I don't want to excuse her actions but it seems that part of her "bad" behaviour might be in her illness. The fact that she wanted to come to your house it means you mean a lot to her and vice versa. Sometimes things do not work out well with a host. Even if she did not utter the word thanks I am sure she was graceful that you had prepared good food for her even if she did not bother to touch it. I am sure her illness is not allowing her to act normally.

Got my power back! There is a old expression..."company and fi$h stink"...BUT I am so truly sorry, this happened. As you know, we keep in touch, and I was so hopeful, this was going to be another CHEERFUL visit...NOT! I am just hoping, dear Lady...the difficulty is because of her waning health, as she has known you..and all about you for a long time. I pray in my heart, you will hear from her soon, and that life will be back to normal. Please don't fault you, I know you cooker all her favourite foods, really went to bat....it wasn't a great time, and I do hope SHE and you will feel better! LUV & HUGZ

I feel so horrible for you!! This experience will stay with you long after your friends passing. With any kind of brain problem, whether it is cancer or strokes or head injuries, the person will change. It could also be that she got news about her condition and was feeling resentful that you are healthier than her and she has such a rough road ahead of her. Also, the cancer may have spread without detection. It's possible that she hasn't seen the doctor recently and had the tests to track the disease's progress. It sounds like the cancer has invaded the sense of smell and taste along with the area that controls the behavior. It wouldn't take too much time for it to reach those areas. Also, at times, people will be that horrible when it is nearly their time to depart. It is kind of like their way of severing ties to people that they care for. Again, it is the lack of control over their behavior, whether it is from strokes, diseases or just plain jealousy. I went through hell with a neighbor a few weeks ago. I have always been honest and above board with then, and suddenly I achieved the status of Bonnie Parker. I had borrowed a sewing machine from her and she decided that the one I returned wasn't her's and that I sold the one I borrowed. Her appearance was that of a total psychopath, her eyes were huge, the pupils dilated and she had the air of a frantic maniac. She also hit my boyfriend when he tried to tell her that the machine that I returned was hers. I haven't spoken to her since. I still have the machine and don't know what I am going to do with it other than treat it like antique crystal and wait to see what happens. The woman is nearly 87 years old and has had quite a few strokes. She admitted to a friend that she thinks that she had another not too much before the sewing machine incident. It breaks my heart that my memory of this lady is the pain of the false accusations. Did the woman have to travel very far to get to your home? When you have the kind of problem she has it takes longer to recover from a trip. It is hard to explain away, but I assure you that you're not the only one to have house guests from the bowels of hell.

i have had house guests like this.. many times. the last stayed for an entire week.. and during her time there made continuous comments about being bored, that i had to entertain her, that i didnt take care of my kids proper or my animals. and even said things TO my children about me. entertain her? i have kids to take care of and life in general to tend to.. if was just a day or so i could slack a bit on things.. but when the dishes are piling up and laundry needed doing.. wtf was i sposed to do? /boggle sad to say thisperson is no longer a friend of mine. after she left i told her bluntly that i didnt want her back, that i didnt appreciate her behavior and disrespect while inmy home.. and that i just didnt want friends that were the type of person she was.

It is fine to have friends at home, but the friends who wants to stay at our home also think about the situation of the people staying in the home. One of my close friends wanted to stay at my home because her MS exam center was nearby my house. She wanted to stay at my house for a week. My husband was leaving to a different country as a part of his job and I wanted to spend some alone time with him. Also, we sold most of the things at home and I was shifting to a hostel. So, I said 'NO' to this friend. She has nver talked to me after that incident. I don't feel sorry for her and I am not going to talk to her consdierin of the great frienship we had. If she were a good friends, she would have understood the situation. She still works with me, but we never talk. It is better not to have a friend like who thinks about her situation, but ignores her friend's concerns. I think she was greatly disappointed, when I said NO, but I had a reason for that.

I haven't had a housguest like that but I have great reespect that you were able to maintain composure. I think it must have been her illness causing her to be so fussy. Was she fussy before? Hmm..well..it is a shame that she hasan't contacted you since she has left but at least you tried to make her visit a nice one. Take care Jo.

I'd say she's hurting and in pain. She's been a long time friend and you should give her the benefit of the doubt. Wouldn't hurt for you to call her --- She might be gone and then you'd feel terrible. hugs.

I don't use my existing brain damage as an excuse for my actions. But, I know how you feel in a way. I had two friends over and they stayed for two weeks. And, they needless to say overstayed their welcome, but George my hubby was trying to work real hard to get them to stay longer, and longer. Eventually they had to go home. Of course, he was trying to use their presenance to get away with his drinking and what not. But... don't want to relive that....

I am sorry the visit turned out like that specially as she is sick It could be that she is getting worse, sounds like she is trying to push the People away that love her and that she loves You know that with some People they do this out of fear I hope you 2 have spoken about it since Jo Hugs

oh yes have right now and on and off for months. THey are living here not helping pay for anything but maybe food once in awhile! HAve to tell the woman its her time to cook now! as she didnt before. and she looks surprized!? She has set on her butt int the front room clued to the tv. never offers to help with the cleaning now I can get the son to do things for me but have to ask him or tell him what I want done they dont seem to see what really needs to be done have to put thier fingers on it! just gripes me so glad they have found and apartment they move into on the 1st!

oh wow..sorry to hear that. my uncle had brain cancer among other things,and his personality did change a bit. not this radically,but then it wasn't long before he went terminal. my other uncle on the other hand-he was the worst houseguest.we took him in for awhile,and he managed to put everyone in the house at odds with each other.nothing was wrong with him tho,he was/is just a jerk.

It sounds like to me if she got so belligerent that her brain cancer has gotten worse. Bless her heart. I feel sorry for her in a way. I know you were glad when she left. She should have appreciated you cooking for her. I never have had company like this unless you want to talk about my sister who lives in Birmingham, lol!!! I know it's normal for all sisters to fuss and fight but she can be so bossy at times. That was years ago and I was so glad when she left. Kathy.

your friend seem dont care about what you feel when she stayed on your house, she dont even appreciate what you do to her. yearly in our house we always had a visitor, they will sleep in our house for a week and seems that they dont wanna go home. it is fine with me if they are helping in our household chores but they never help. and in expenses they even dont buy a food.

Your friends illness is perhaps the reason she is behaving so badly. You were great friends up until recently; I suggest you reach out to her. It sounds like she is suffering some sort of dementia from the brain cancer. She will more than likely be difficult from now on. All we can do is pray and hope for healing and that she is able to enjoy the rest of her life and find some happiness. I can certainly empathize with you in this situation. That must have been so shocking for you to witness this behavior of your friend. I can imagine it must have hurt you being told off in your home, especially since you went to a lot of trouble for her. I do not blame you for being angry and hurt. I only hope you are able to understand her situation and look past her negative behavior because she is quite unaware what she is doing and does not mean to hurt you.