ex that hunts...
March 26, 2010 7:01am CST
I have a friend who currently in a relationship right now and she told me that she's always thinking of her ex. She doesn't know why is she keep on thinking of her ex after 2 years now. She asked me if it is possible that she has feelings for this ex and she just ignored it because she has a boyfriend and his ex hurted her. She even dreams of him. They haven't talk after the big break up. She asked me if meeting the ex will give closure on this feelings that she is having. I told her that maybe it will hep and also that she may lose this good guy that she is with if she will be meeting up this guy and what if she has feelings for him. This ex-bf of her is a jerk, not smart and a cheater. What do you think?
2 people like this
26 Mar 10
Yes the young women do love those bad boys, don't they. They are exciting and makes the heart pound as you can never figure out where you stand, they keep knocking you off your feet, figuratively and in some cases literally. Dependable good guy is boring and predictable however so why would anyone want one of those? Your bff will have to decide whether she wants her heart to be constantly broken by bad boy who is probably happily off with another woman, and probably cheating on that woman, or whether she wants to normalize her life with good guy. Some women never get it and make the mistake of marrying bad boys and having children with them to their eventually sorrow unless they like being abused. Maybe your bff is one of those women who like to be knocked around, confusing the abuse with love and caring. Meeting with the ex would be a disaster. She is only asking you because she wants your blessings that the meeting would be ok.
• United States
26 Mar 10
i am wondering if this girl's ex will want to see her again. i think she should stay with this new guy or she will lose him. does she really like this new guy? i think if she finds the right guy she will stop thoughts of her ex-boyfriend. i don't think we ever forget our losses. they are always there, but we must move onward anyway.
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 10
I think that your friend hasn't had closure from the end of her relationship that she has two years ago. The fact that your friend still thinks of the man for much of the time and she dreams of him means she is still interested in him. Therefore she should try to contact her ex and chat as a friend. Then she might be able to stop her feelings and thoughts about him in the future. It sounds like her ex boyfriend was a nasty guy and now she is with a lovely man. I hope that she will stay with her boyfriend and file away the feelings she has for her past love.
26 Mar 10
Oh you mean 'haunts', I thought she was being hunted down by the ex. Anyhow, an ex is an ex for a good reason, so she better steer clear of such a predicament. Tell her to ignore the feelings and questions about the ex, fire will only stop when you stop feeding fuel to it. It doesn't really mean she still loves him, her mind is just trying to confuse her because of too much television or too much romantic thoughts that they might be 'for each other'. One suggestion you could give her is whenever she starts thinking about how cute he was or how romantic, tell her to remember how he treated her, how he cheated her a lot and hot much he hurt her. Start feeding the bad memories instead of the good. Sooner or later he would realize that the ex is really a loser and she'll learn to get over it. Meeting won't do a thing, because the mere notion that she'd like to meet him give him the control over her once again and must mean that he won the relationship contest.
26 Mar 10
Life is full of choices what to do or not? To stay or to go? This questions usually bug us in our life.. My advice think of it carefully after thinking of it. What ever your decision may be, the consequences are for you to absorb, and stand on. You can be back with the guy and be hurt again. Or you can forget about him and always think how life will be with him. One way or the other someone will get hurt. But your choice should always makes you happy. So if I am still in love with someone, I will go for that person. For I will regret it later not doing anything.