I suck as a boyfriend...
By choybel
@choybel (5042)
Philippines
March 27, 2010 3:17pm CST
I admit, I suck being a boyfriend. It was our 8th year anniversary and I didn't have anything special made or prepared for my girlfriend. Originally, I had great plans, that was a month ago, but then a lot of things just happened one after the other and before I know it, I was cashless by yesterday and really have no way to make my plans work. I knew she was expecting some special actions from me but my condition just brought me down and I had to drag the whole occasion with it. Now I really regret it and wish I could make up for it some how. I just feel hate for myself now and pity and sadness for my girlfriend. We literally just sat down on my sofa the whole afternoon and did nothing more. What the heck was I thinking?!
...
I would appreciate advice and even criticisms here...
Do share your thoughts on this, please...and any similar experience too...
...
I would appreciate advice and even criticisms here...
Do share your thoughts on this, please...and any similar experience too...1 person likes this
20 responses
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
27 Mar 10
Sorry, no similar experience. But you know what? You love each other and whenever your cash problem is resolved, you can treat her. I am sure she understand that. It happens and yes, on the worst occasions. So don't dwell on it. Just be happy, okay. TATA.
But love and compassion can overcome anything you put your mind to. Now, relax and make her see that you still love her. TATA.
@Loen210 (1540)
• United States
28 Mar 10
First off, I must say that you don't suck, which I say as
1) You remembered and thoguht of it way ahead. AND that you still celebrate it (esp. since you are not legally married, I assume).
2) That you feel guilt and wish that you had been able to do something. It would mean a lot to me, if I read my boyfriend's write-up about this, realizing that he really did want to do something and still loves me that much.
Though I would not have been expecting to be spoiled, I think it is important that you let her know and/or read this, how you are feeling about yourself.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
Thank you very much for this inspiring thought. I wish my girlfriend would think the same but I doubt she likes the idea of me spreading my guilt and sadness online. A card is in my plans too, so I guess I'll be preparing a surprise for her then. Better late than never.
@Loen210 (1540)
• United States
28 Mar 10
Good for you, Choybel,
Well, you could even show her it as a journal entry. Or just write it in first person to her.
Glad she will have the joy of receiving a warm card from her. And togetherness is much better than spoiling goods and gifts. :o) When you love someone, those frivolous things are not needed to be happy together.
@Loen210 (1540)
• United States
28 Mar 10
And you can also still write her a sweet card and/or write a little poem or post a quotation that is loving to her. Should make her happy that you still think of her and are greatful for the many years you have been together.
(Whenever I get a late B-day card, call, or congrats whether it's a day or a month late, it makes me feel more special that they think of me even after that special day.)
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
27 Mar 10
Aw, well hey when ever my hubby and I were low on money, we'd just watch movies and make dinner together or even went out and had a picnic. It shouldn't be a problem for her if you ran out of money she should understand. Another thing that you could do is just celebrate on another day when you do have money. That is another thing my husband and I have done.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
27 Mar 10
it s alright. everything s gonna go back to normal. she ll understand it. think of it like this, she doesnt have anything for you too right? and it s your 8th anniversary. she should be contributing too for the relationship. it s not supposed to be you all the time. it should be equal if cash doesnt really matter,right?
@pageantgirl31413 (96)
• United States
27 Mar 10
I don't think that a lack of money should bring you down. There are plenty of things you can do without any money. You can find some flowers for her, maybe a picnic or something. Now that the anniversary has passed, you can still do something for her. It may be late but thats alright. Just plan something and let her know you feel terrible about what happened.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
27 Mar 10
I did planned for a picnic but the weather was awfully hot since it is summer here and she wasn't in a picnic attire. I did tell her how terrible I felt but she was so down too, I can't blame her. I am planning for something and hope it could make up for it.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
27 Mar 10
I did planned for a picnic but the weather was awfully hot since it is summer here and she wasn't in a picnic attire. I did tell her how terrible I felt but she was so down too, I can't blame her. I am planning for something and hope it could make up for it.
@drshav (205)
• Philippines
27 Mar 10
Its never too late to celebrate your anniversary. You can plan again and make it just a simple one. Why dont you try to cook her fave food then give her some flower. You dont have to buy things, you just have to be creative. If she really loves you then she will surely understand. Anyway you should have explained to her whats your real condition. U dont have to feel bad coz what happened is something u dont want to happen either. Cheer up. Everything will be fine.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
Thank you for the concern and suggestions. I in fact offered to cook but she wanted to just have lunch somewhere else and we still ended up eating at home but not my cooking anymore. I guess she is just very disappointed but she'll be okay. It just breaks my heart knowing her sadness is because of my failure.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
28 Mar 10
Hi choybel! Don't be so hard on yourself! You sound like a
really good person and I'm pretty sure that after 8 years
your girlfriend thinks so too! I'm sure she understands that
it wasn't your fault that you didn't have the money to celebrate
your anniversary right now. I'm sure after 8 years together
you both know each other and know that things happen and
you are still going to stay together so you can still have
a wonderful 8th anniversary, just maybe a little later on!
@drkraven (521)
• Romania
27 Mar 10
if it is just lack of cash .. then she should understand it. it s not like you had money and didn t care about it. Thou you could try and plan things ahead, cash included not just the ideeas :) Buy her something nice the first chance you get and some flowers and you ll manage :)
@phynx15 (248)
• India
27 Mar 10
Me too. Its really difficult to be a cool boyfriend, because girls are difficult to understand. Sometimes they mean what they don't say. When i called my girl friend she says i am disturbing her, when i don't call her, she says i am not caring about her. I really suck as a boyfriend. And i don't know how to be cool. When ever i try to be cool it generally turns out with a fight. But one thing amaze me, whenever i try to leave her and let her go, she urges me to hold her. May be sucking is also cool. its something complicated man.
@Aviroyalavi (205)
• India
28 Mar 10
hi bro, mmine tooo face these kyn of situation before 2 yr's frm now.
i hv a grlfrnd she expecting very special frm my side but i cant spend more tym wid her.
anyhow she'z is now busy with job nd mine too. so now my journy passing great.
but sometimes d tym i thinkn my past i'm also thinkin lyk u i suck as a boyfrnd.
best of luck bro
@seta07 (47)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
for me as a girl ,,i dont care whether my boyfriend had a gift for me or not...just a simple words saying to me that he loves me forever is okay for me,,because material thing is not important for me especially if he is cashless in that time i will understand hes situation,..just always be sweet to him ,be protective and love her..for sure she will appreciate it..because you love her and you always express your feelings to her
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
28 Mar 10
If she really loves you, then she will be understanding of what you have been through. Things happen. Life happens.
The thought was there, but you did not have the money to go through with it.
My anniversary with my boyfriend was last year in October, and it was the weekend that we were at Long Beach Comic Con. We ended up celebrating at a really nice burger restaurant across the street from the Convention Center. I didn't really mind because we were having a blast at LBCC and he made it up to me by finding me the comic book that I always wanted. It did not cost him much, and cost did not matter to me. It was about the thought.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 Mar 10
Choybel,
It isn't about money. If a guy just told me how much I meant to him and how much he wished he could do to celebrate that day then it it would mean the world and that would be enough. It's just about showing to her how much she means to you and that can be done without money.
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
27 Mar 10
Oh...I find this a very sad situation indeed.
But If I'm your girlfriend I will be the one to take you out.
given if I have the money or else I will just buy some delicious foods and share it with you. Nothing grand really just something simple to start with...or we can watch movies on line or rent some dvd's. What matter most is the happy moments we shares. Good luck next time.
@krisnel (498)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
but for me that was the sweetest thing that ever happen if it happen to me. just for a changes the two of you did not go out for dinner or to watch movies or any other things that the two of you could do. dont blame yourself just because you dont have money, the important is that the two of you are together in that very special occasion of your life.
@prasenjit3 (112)
• India
28 Mar 10
why you suck your boyfriend.if this suck can be affect your mind then you just clear this
@grethe02 (9)
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
nobody sucks when it is not completely its fault that things happen. i do really understands you. if you can see the far flung area here in Philippines you can see people loving each other without money :) if she really loves you and you know you love her you don't have to be worry of even bothered of not having money. it's not that money or the things u can buy matters? it is the heart that beats for each other.. though we need to admit that money is one way/means for people to be happy. PLEASE stop WORRYING think of you have been together for 8 years and i know you will be together for more years. you can always have a chance to make it be very special next years ahead. :D
