What if your boyfriend/girlfriend admire someone else?

@markmoney (2868)
Philippines
March 31, 2010 9:41am CST
Not actually admiring, but what if your partner told you that he/she likes a particular person. For example your partner finds the person kind and funny that's why your partner likes that person. And you know that those are some of the qualities that your partner likes in the opposite gender. What are you going to feel? How are you going to react? If I will agree, he/she will say no you're not, you're jealous. Well, I don't know what the proper reaction I will show her. How about you, what are you going to feel or what will be your reaction if your boyfriend/girlfriend is liking someone? Do you think he/she still needed to tell it to you? Kindly share your thoughts. I would be glad to hear from you. Have a nice day! Happy myLotting!
2 people like this
29 responses
@cloud31 (5811)
31 Mar 10
Love from admiration is very much different, your girl just admire a kind and funny guy then there's nothing to worry,maybe she admire that person for being funny and make her laughed perhaps, admiration is kind of likes to a quality of a person, Love is came from deep inside..And I guess she don't mean to hurt you for that,if she had an intention hurting she would not open these things to you,she just being transparent to what she feels and I think better for you and her than she will keep and hide something from you and in that case she might have an intention to make thing unreal for you or lie to you.,Some cases you need to open heart and open mind to understand feelings of other whats the use of loving a person without trusting her/him, if you trust your partner and you have confident in yourself you won't feel bad at all,unless you know she playing towards you .Do you think a partner being honest to tell you what she feels better than she keeps alone all by herself? Hope it helps a little....Happy myLotting!
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Yes, and I just realized that. Maybe i was just been too narrow-minded. And I actually admitted my fault and learned from it. I'm so lucky to have a girl who is very honest and making herself transparent. I am the one she loves so I don't really have to worry if she will admire other people, and it's just normal. You know I'm not an expert lover and I'm willing to learn things. From now on, all I will think is I am the one he loves and I will trust her. And I should feel confident since she is always showing me how much special I am to her. I will not easily be affected now. I told her that it's better if she won't tell me about someone she admires, but I now changed my mind, I want her to continue her honesty and transparency. I would better choose a partner who is always being honest. Thank you so much for dropping here in my discussion. You helped a lot and I feel better now. Thank you so much. Please always take care. Happy myLotting!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
31 Mar 10
Hi IJ, men can be tiresome. don't you think? £And you, i think we will have a long way to go yet. TATA.
@cloud31 (5811)
31 Mar 10
Hi saph, I guess they are How If my man will get jealous to Misterwit being funny that's ridiculous!LOL
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
31 Mar 10
Sweetie i admire a lot of people. And all of the opposite gender. And there is nothing for my partner to worry about. We are human and the opposite will alwasy be there for a distraction. Whether we like it or not. I don't mind and he doesn't mind. That is what makes us human. TATA.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Hi saph! Yes I know now that I really have nothing to worry if my partner will admire anyone, ok I will let her admire anyone from now on. Well, it's just happened that she is the only one I admire that's why I thought it's wrong to admire someone else. I hope she can still forgive me and I already admitted by mistake. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
31 Mar 10
And you don't even admire me?? TATA.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Oh, I'm sorry saph, but all my heart belongs to her. That's why she is the only one I admire. You know how much I love her. My mind and heart are always focusing on her. Thanks again. Take care!
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Hmmm. I don't get jealous much, so I guess I'm okay with it. I don't think I can stop my boyfriend from liking other people. I mean, it's just human nature right, and I'll be glad if he told me that rather than hearing it from somebody else, or realizing that he likes this particular girl.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Yes exactly. Our partner is just being honest, so there's really nothing to worry, instead we should thank him/her for being open and honest to us. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
• Philippines
1 Apr 10
Yup, I really see it that way. Have a nice day Mark.
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
It will be fine if my girlfriend admire someone else. I mean its fine as long as what she admire is a person who is admirable. You know some popular artist, band, singer,her father,her mother, teacher and friends. And she must be sure of her feeling that she's just only admiring the person and not secretly loving or wanting the person to be with. Because if she do then I'm gonna leave her. It's hard to stay with someone whos attention is not for you.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Yes, you are right. Well, we will be able to know if her admiration is still on the limits or not. We just need to be alarmed once what she is doing is foul already. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
31 Mar 10
Well, in love we always like to change for our loved ones.. you know when my wife liked a singer singing so well. I wished i should be a good singer, so not just she will like me, i can make her life happy. I tried few months singing, she found out and said.."u can become a singer, it doesnot mean all those sings well are equal to my love thats u ever!"..So i understood the difference, admiration is liking that will not equals love!
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Yes, we want to be the best for our partners, and when they admire someone else, we wanted to be like them or be better than them so that all our partner's focus would be with us. But we should admit that we are not really perfect. Though we should not really worry coz it's just admiration and we are the one our partner's love so we have to be happy for that. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
• Sweden
31 Mar 10
well for me. honesty is one of the important in a relationship.if this happen tome that my bf is liking other girl. well he must honest to me. and also there no wrong if you admiring other that normal reaction.of course love is diff.even you admire one person its doesnt mean yu love her. you give up your gf because admiring others.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Yes, honesty is very important. So whatever he/she reveals, we should be glad since he/she was just being honest. Yes, admiration is normal. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@greyz7 (861)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Personally? it's a normal thing to admire a person apart from your boyfriend/girlfriend. for i too admired some..but i would be somewhat jealous or annoyed if my boyfriend keeps on admiring to same person. my gosh! and if that person being admired to is an actress, it's ok. But if that person is just across the corner and the admire thing is kinda leading to liking..oh well, i would be alarmed..
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Hi greyz! Yes, I just realized that it's just normal to admire someone else aside from your partner. As long as he/she is giving us assurance that there's nothing to worry and we are his/her only one, then everything will be fine. But of course we should still be aware. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
No matter what the reaction is,it's much better if you tell her. Cause if you don't,that will give her a wrong signal. It will make her think that you're liking someone and you're hiding it from her-in short,1st level of cheating. Honesty is still the best solution. I'm a girl and I would tell you that I would be very jealous and hurt. If you like that person,then why are you with me if you're seeing the things you admire in another girl? right?
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Hi shermaine! Yes, it's better if we will tell our partner if we admire someone. We are just being honest and liking someone else doesn't mean that we are going to leave our partner and go with the one we admired. But still sometimes, it can hurt our partner if we tell them we admire someone else. We should understand that and we just need to reassure them that he/she are the only one we love. Well, thank you for your response and happy myLotting!
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
it will not other me coz i also do the same as no one is actually perfect and sometimes we can what we like in different person. though what matter is i still have my bf and its just an admiration.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
Hi! Thank you for sharing. Now it makes me think that it's normal to admire another person aside from your partner. Than you for your response. Happy myLotting!
• Philippines
19 Apr 10
How did she say it to you? Does she say to you with a smile in her face or it just slip into her mouth? When if ever I have a boyfriend and he will say that she likes that girl or this girl because of reason of physical appearance or whatsoever, of course I will not react to that. I will let is slide unless he says it once, but if he keeps on saying that knowing that I am the girlfriend, I will surely asks the question why? Why is he saying that to me? Of course I need to know the truth. But anyway, if he really likes other girls or he have a deep crush he will not tell it to me, he will rather keep it to himself, am I right? At first time my boyfriend will do that to me, I will not give any reaction. I will not feel insecure. If he really like the girl she is talking about why do he pursue me in the first place. I will not issue a sad face or insecure reaction but I will make sure I will mark the one he admire.
@ybong007 (6659)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
it's perfectly normal to get attracted to other persons aside from your GF. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. But if you are confident about your relationship, you should just accept it. I only means that your partner is being honest with you about her feelings. But the fact that she told you about her feelings means she likes you more. After all, you are her BF and not the other person, so consider yourself lucky.
@mitchann (303)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
I think admiring is just okay, but if you observe that he is nursing the feeling like getting the number of his/her crush, its a different story already. That's already bordering the line between attraction and unfaithfulness.
@Naisan (215)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
admiration is just a natural thing...and jealousy...I don't think so, the point is even though my partner admires someone else at the end of the day he still choses to be with me and we trust each other
@dorannmwin (36695)
• United States
3 Apr 10
This really wouldn't bother me at all. In my opinion there is quite a lot of difference between admiring a person (whether they are of the opposite gender or not) and being in love with a person. I believe that people are able to be monogamous if that is what they desire. I know that I have some female friends that my husband admires and I also know that my husband has some male friends that I admire, but I would never cheat on my husband with any of these people and I know that he would never cheat on me either.
• Philippines
1 Apr 10
I think that for every individual to admire or have a little crush on someone is normal. But when you are in a relationship there has to be boundaries in admiring someone. we cannot force a person not to admire this or that someone. Its normal for everybody to appreciate someone not because they are in love with these persons but because they have the qualities that they like in these people.As a girl, Its normal for us to have a crush with other guys but it doesn't mean that we don't love our partners at all. Like me, I'm in a relationship right now and whenever I had a crush on someone I always tell it to my bf so that i can assure him that its just a simple crush. Remember that Trusting each other can make your relationship stronger. ^_^
@VANILLAREY (1473)
• India
1 Apr 10
I do not think there is much one can do in such a situation. There are girls who have boyfriends and are also crazy about male celebrities. Its the way some people are.
1 Apr 10
Love, love, love. Makes us act and react in strange ways. Dear Mark, your girlfriend should be your best friend. It is great you admire her that much and I'm sure she admires you the same way. But that doesn't mean you and her can't admire other people and even share that with each other. There is nothing like a healthy relationship where you don't have to be afraid of talking and sharing. If you are her friend and allow her to share with you without small things being a problem she will never feel the need to lie. You can have more than one friend and it doesn't mean you like one less than the other. She chose to be with you, admiring other people or not is not a problem..you worrying too much about that can be. Enjoy your life with her and don't think too much about tomorrow...you should be together if you are happy...if you bring problems to the relationship then she won't be happy and there will be no reason for you to be together. Good Luck
@monkeylong (3147)
• Guangzhou, China
1 Apr 10
As far as I am concerned, I think I will first get jealous about him or her. For maybe I am not so strong at that aspect, I think I will just try my best to make me stronger and let my girl friend can look good on me,and not just admire others.Have a nice day.
@jinjer168 (1599)
• Philippines
1 Apr 10
My initial reaction was to feel jealous. I am a jealous person by nature and i wanted my husband or boyfriend to focused his attention on me. But liking is different from loving, i will understand his feelings as well because he's just a human and all of us can feel this way to others but not to the point that you will leave your present relationship because of that other individual you like
@renifa12 (104)
• Philippines
1 Apr 10
well thats how love works its ok if he admire somoene becoz if we are really mean for each other then we will end up together whatever happened.