Jealousy and Insecurities

Philippines
April 22, 2010 5:39am CST
How will you talk to a person who is full of insecurities and jealousy on you??
1 person likes this
5 responses
@megamatt (14327)
• United States
22 Apr 10
Wow dealing with these people can be quite the adventure. Especially when these behaviors are directed at you. I mean dealing with them is an innocent party who has nothing to do with the situation at hand might be tricky enough. However, when these people are looking at you with a paranoid set of eyes, it is truly hard to really deal with them. They are suspicious of your every action, they think that you are going to make them look bad, no matter how shallow the reason is. So yeah it is a tough thing to do. It is sometimes best to not try to talk to these people all that much. Not that they really would listen to anything that you would say anyway. They tend to just think that the world is out to get them, no matter who it is. They have just picked a person to focus that on and yeah that can be a tough one, an extremely tough one. I tend to give these people all of the room that they can have.
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
I would really appreciate Megamatt if you can give me the details on how you give these people all of the room that they can have. Coz I am now facing the dilemma of avoiding her or still befriend with her. Thank you much..big help!
@Hazelrose (2185)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Hi keishmhe14,Well,it is a very hard situation,I think a heart to heart conversation will helps a lot.By explaining your side and to advice her/him to have self confidence.Good Luck!
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
hello Hazelrose..yeah..i thought about it too..but when i tried to approach her and talked to her about it, it seems that she avoided the topic when i tried to open it to her. **I'm now facing the dilemma of hating her or just let it go for the sake of friendship** but how??
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
I tell you, it's very difficult but not impossible. I have experienced this a few years back, it was an acquaintance who was seeing a colleague at the office. The guy was our family friend therefore we were like brother and sister. I talk frankly to the guy and he does the same to me. But we're still professional at the organization we were in. I knew that they were going out but we (the guy and I) never talk about it. We don't even hang-out outside the organization. It was just purely 'friends', not at all BESTfriends. However, she had a different view of things. Then one day, she invited me for lunch to talk about something involving the organization (she was also part of it but we weren't in the same group), I thought she just wanted to talk about business and such so I agreed. It was just casual conversation until she opened the topic. She blurted out that every time she sees her bf and me talking in the office, she felt angry at me. I let her tell me her piece. I was gauging how to make her understand. After she had her talk, I told her straight that she need not feel this way because the guy wasn't my type at all and neither does he. I asked her if ever she saw me 'flirting' with guy to which she answered never. I told her my side of things and that this insecurity was unfounded because I never even go out with the guy or meet up with him outside the organization or just the two of us - it has always been with other people. Continuing her concerns, she voiced out that the guy was starting to be cold with her. There, I saw the real problem. She was just blaming me for the rocky relationship and thought that it was me creating tensions between them. In short, I was able to prove to her that she need not worry about me. That this insecurity doesn't at all help the situation. That was the day we became close. I think if someone is jealous of you, you need to wait till they tell you so instead of approaching them first. They will soon gather up the strength to talk to you and when they do, that's the time you could listen and then tell them in all honestly of what they thought wrong. But, one could only do that if they are honest about their intentions. I never wish to take someone else's guy. It's not my thing. I'm not a fighter in terms of relationships. I would be willing to wait should he choose me. But to take someone away from the person they chose or loved? That's just not me.
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Firstly think why she's acting that way. Maybe because your reactions are like outburst so she can't freely tell you what she thinks about something. I bet she's more cold tempered than you and she has to respect herself by not listening to these outbursts coming from you that's why she refuses to be concrete about talking to you. When a person talk to me with such intensity and roughness I cannot think effectively to give an immediate reply so I just remain silent. I am sick of harsh questions so I cannot bring myself to fabricate a intelligent assessment. I need to have a comfortable surrounding first most especially that the person who ask me talk to me with clarity and lukewarmness before because only by that time that I'm strengthened to make a reply.
• India
22 Apr 10
Hello, I have too many friends, but I would say that I am surrounded by friends and relatives who are jealous of me, but, they all are just shameless in their demands.On one hand they will not stop at passing snide remarks on my face and on other hand, they will shamelessly be after me to help them out. I may say my own brother and sisters are like this only.