I was refused to donate blood because of my gender…
By portisray
@portisray (503)
Philippines
April 26, 2010 2:49am CST
I remember when my sister had an accident and she was confined in one of the private hospitals here in Manila. Before the hospital could finally release her, we have to replace blood that they used when my sister had an operation. You cannot buy blood in their hospital. It is mandatory I think at that time that you have to replace the blood that they used and not pay for it.
Since I am her brother, what else is there to say but help her so I went to their Blood Bank… When I enter the bank, I observed most of the donors were males. I went to the counter to fill-up a form. 4 attending female nurses and a male nurse were in the booth. One of the female nurses started to say something (she said first if I am going to donate blood which I answered yes) but hesitating what the right words to say to me. Finally, she said (Oh! I could express this in Tagalog much better but I have to ‘say’ this in English), she said, “Are you…. You know…in doubt of who you are?”
“What do you mean?” I asked her. She said, “Are you gay? Because we cannot accept your blood if you are, and you really are gay”.
In an instant, I was shocked. I was flabbergasted… (I searched in the dictionary of what is the English word for “nanlumo”.) That means I was qualmish. I feel like I am a wet chick as the saying here. So many people looking at me. I am lost for words. But I still have the courage to ask her what I am going to say to my sister that I got rejected because I am gay?
She told me I could reason out to my sister that I have low white blood cells (or is it red?) I can’t remember what is the color that she said. And I said “Or I could tell to my sister that I have LOTS of “green” blood cells eh?” There’s an awkward laugh to the donors hearing our conversation.
And that’s it. I went out to the bank furious that I don’t know what I am going to do. I feel like I am going to cry. So many emotions went over me. I walk looking to the cement floor and wander around the hospital.
I want to tell you all myLotter friends here that no one knows about this… Until now that I told you...
And I don’t know how to end this post… So I’m gonna leave you a question… What are you going to do if you were in my position?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Is there a something like that in the hospital? they will not accept blood from a gay? I really don't know. I know you are hurt because these people are making fun of you. I hope they reason out to you why they don't accept a blood from gay. If I were you they have to prove to me first why they don't have to accept my blood If I were a gay. Of course they have rules I have to see the rules first before going out of the blood bank. Sometimes they are just fooling you and you instantly believe without questioning. You need to tell it to your parents, for me this is a serious matter.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Look they have to give you the reason why they refuse to have your blood. So that when you walk out on that place you are not "nanlulumo" meaning you understand clearly why they did not accept you. You will feel sad but not "nanlulumo". from the way they acted it seems like they make you feel ashame of your gender. According to my nurse friend, they do not accept blood from gays because of HIV reason, they are generalizing it. I wish they advice you like a professional people. and Doctors and nurses done it in private, not what i had read on your discussion. Para kang pinagtripan eh! tama ba yun????
@portisray (503)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
I'm sorry if you were confuse to my post. I'm the one who said "What if I tell to my sister that I have a lot of green blood cells...?"
Yes, of course.. they SHOULD have talk to me in private...and not in front of everybody...
@portisray (503)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
That's when I remember that one of my gay friends went to the hospital too and insisted to donate blood for his father's... And that's also his case like mine (in a different hospital)... He got a refusal too... My friend didn't tell me about that. His sister told me about what happened in the blood bank...
So are they fooling around when I was in this hospital too?
@coolcrux1 (141)
• India
27 Apr 10
This is really pathetic, no one has a right to refuse someone from donating the blood because of he is a gay. This is not the time to debate on what you are....
I am extremely feeling very bad about this.
@coolcrux1 (141)
• India
28 Apr 10
I can understand the situation. It is happening. But you need not to loose hope and be confident to fight back these kind of situation.
@portisray (503)
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
Well, it really was pathetic... That's the way it is... I am an educated person...There's something that should be done about it but I don't have the guts...
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
I never knew that there is such discrimination going on in hospitals. What I know about blood banks refusing donors is that if they are sick, or not physically fit to donate blood. It has nothing to do with gender. My brother is also gay and he has donated blood three times already. I have an idea what hospital you're referring to because they are the only hospital that I know of that has a blood bank and practices what you just said with regard to using blood on their patients. I suggest that you contact their public relations officer. In the room, you will find the extension number or in their survey pamphlet. They hate bad publicity and believe me, will do anything to cover this up. They hate being sued too, and believe me you will win big time because they have no right to refuse just because of your gender.
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
I just had to do a little research. Here is the link from the Philippine Red Cross that states the reasons why you are turned away as potential blood donors. Nowhere in the list is gender. It is a discrimination and assumption that gays are promiscuous.
http://www.redcross.org.ph/Site/NBC/FAQs.aspx
This is not a referral link.
@portisray (503)
• Philippines
27 Apr 10
As was said by greychunny, she asked a nurse friend and told her that they do not accept blood from gays because of HIV reason. And as you said, nowhere in the list in PNRC FAQ the reason because of my gender...
It is clear of course that there's a discrimination. But as I said, I have no guts to do something about it... Well, unless, if I have someone at that time that I'm with to talk about that and calm my nerves and clear my head and that I think is the time I will go back and have a talk to the doctor in charge in the blood bank...not to the nurse that I talked to.... Anyway, thanks for that research of yours anne25penn!!!
@CRSunrise (2981)
• United States
26 Apr 10
I can't expression my shock at something like that. You wouldn't think that would be a reason for refusal anywhere. Now I don't know how things are in other countries, but here in the States, being gay is never a reason unless of couse you did have AIDS.
It's probably a mute point at this time, but I would think you should take your shock up with the supervisor or head of the hospital, or something like that. I would think there would be something they could do. I just don't know. I feel like I'm talking myself around in circles here.
@mjcookie (2271)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Awww. I feel sorry. Well of course that would humiliate me, to think that she said that when there are many people around. I am surprised that the nurse even gave you a reason for you to give your sister. I don't have an idea why gay people couldn't donate blood, but if that's really the case then I would feel really hurt and cry a lot. Then I would just look for other blood donors. 
That's sad. Well thanks for letting me know.
@camomile07 (1420)
• Germany
26 Apr 10
Well, for some people it might be quite difficult to imagine your feeling when other persons never lived your situation, but I can understand that you should feel very confused. You only wanted to help to your sister who was ill, but the staff didn't accepted it. It is obvious that in this situation they prefered to deny you this help instead to allow to your sister to recieve this help she needed. The judged only one side of the situation instead on limiting themselves to realize well their job. In my opinion, nobody should judge others because of their gender, so their behaviour was not really fair. But it seems that the mentality in your country is still quite different.
@portisray (503)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Hello Ms. Camomile! They have their own reasons to not let me donate blood. I know that that is not fair. They already judge me...
I cannot just say let me talk to your manager...(as if I am in a restaurant) and have a "heated" conversation... No... I don't want that...
And yes...the mentality here in my country is very different... And that you unknowingly gave me another idea to start another discussion here! hehe... Thanks a lot for responding!
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
26 Apr 10
Sweetie, the only thing you can do, is accept who and what you are. People have the endency to be nasty and they don't even try to hide what they think. If i were in this situation i would just move on and be ignorant. That i am very good at. I don't care what people think or say of me. I am important to me. And that is what makes me special. But, the good thing of this, you did try. Don't ever forget that. And the hell with the rest of them all. TATA.
