Just about the time things seem to be going my way...

@Loverbear (4928)
United States
May 13, 2010 2:23am CST
I've been through the law suit about the sewing machine and my crazy neighbor, I put up with crap from people, I even fought with my college about my grades. I usually come out on top, but this time it was something that I never expected. I went to the doctor today for the results of my MRI. I was shocked down to my shoes when he said that if he was me he would ask for a new back. He showed me the film of the MRI and explained to me that he was in awe that I was still walking. Most of the vertebrae in my lower back are narrowing horribly, the disks are ruptured and those that aren't ruptured are badly herniated. The nerves are trapped and are interrupting the messages to my legs and feet. (That explains the problems I have been having walking, my feet give out suddenly and if I don't keep track of my feet I fall.) The doctor can't figure out how come I'm not in a wheel chair. I also have been warned that I can expect that to happen within the next few years. Gee, for an active person like me that is a horrible piece of news. The doctor also informed me that there is no way that surgery would be able to be performed to fix the problem...surgery would just make things worse. Now I need to get in contact with my primary physician and then get referred to a pain clinic so that the pain I am experiencing in my legs and neck can be better controlled. Ever have one of those days where you wonder what else can happen...but you're afraid to find out?
3 people like this
8 responses
@qamarep (4448)
• Pakistan
13 May 10
wow you are having the very difficult life ... you should pray God for forgiveness
1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
14 May 10
Qamarep: Did you just assume Loverbear's illness is a judgment from God? It sounded like it, since you told her to ask Him for forgiveness. While it's true we are all sinners, & thus need God's forgiveness, there are times when a person has done nothing wrong, but still has calamities that happen. So please don't assume this is a punishment from God. Sometimes, as with Job, He tests those whom He loves, & gives them reason to rely more on Him. There can be many reasons. Just ask God to be with her, & let it go at that. To do otherwise is prideful, & thus a sin, & it's not your job to judge her soul; that's solely God's right. Love in Christ, Maggiepie ~ sinner Thomas Jefferson: " ... democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
14 May 10
Thank you so much Maggiepie. I read the comment and was a bit shocked. Even though I do sin, I also try to be a loving giving person as is taught in the Bible. God is a forgiving God, if you ask for forgiveness. Illness and suffering is not necessarily from the hands of God, and as you said so wonderfully, it is only God's right to judge whether I am to lose my soul. Thank you again!
1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
14 May 10
You're so welcome. I did think perhaps Qam didn't mean to sound judgmental. I suspect English isn't his native language; something about the construction of the syntax.... But I have encountered that mistaken belief, & just in case that might've been what was underlying it, I felt obliged to address it. Too many people who've never been really familiar with the actual Christian view of things already assume we're a haughty, judgmental bunch. I just wanted to be sure that idea didn't have time to take root! God does sometimes allow sickness or other crises, because it can cause good things to occur. For example, many people who've had children born with severe handicaps have learned first-hand what real love is about, & sometimes people learn from their own suffering. It's not God being "mean," either. He never gives anyone more than they can bear (if they pray for help), but He does "hone" us as we hone a blade, to reach that keen edge that can cut through the distractions of everyday complacency. I don't know if that's what's happening with you, but I do know something good will come from it! Prayers will continue, Loverbear, never doubt it! Love, Maggiepie "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money." ~ -- Alexis de Tocqueville
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
14 May 10
Oh, Lover...that's terrible! I'll pray for you. I dislike being on a walker or a chair, but I wasn't all that active. It must be horrid for an active person! Why wouldn't surgery help? Can't they do some reconstruction? I mean, there are prosthetics for darn near everything nowadays--even for faces! Why couldn't they build you a new spine? Is it just too tricky? Has no-one ever done that? Or can you just not afford such surgery? Is there anything we can do to help? Anyway, God love you, we will all be rooting for you! HUGS! ((((((((LOVERBEAR!)))))))) Maggiepie Thomas Jefferson: " ... democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
14 May 10
Just about every response is just what I needed! It's the support and love from my friends on the Lot. It was just the shock value of the results. When you're used to being told that nothing is wrong and then when you expect the same response only it was what I received it is a shock. As the orthopedic surgeon said, there isn't a surgeon who is honest who would touch the problem with my back. There is too much damage and the narrowing in the vertebrae is too severe to attempt the surgery. Besides, as you said, the surgery is too tricky and as the doctor said it wouldn't solve anything and the surgery (if it could be done) would have to be constantly repeated. I'm not a big fan of back surgery, I had a doctor pushing me to have surgery on my neck and I balked at having it. Turns out that it was a very smart thing for me to do as a few years ago I was rear ended and if I had had the surgery I would have been seriously injured. It is a relief to know that my stumbling and falling isn't from age or clumsiness but from an actual physical problem. I will just have to do my research and talk to my neurologist and the doctors at the pain clinic. I decided today that I am going to focus this summer on making teddy bears, designing jewelry and doing other art projects. Emmersing myself in the activities that I thoroughly enjoy will help me refocus my mind on something other than myself. I'll post pictures of my work as the time goes by. Thank you so much for the hugs and wonderfulness. The best thing that has helped is your responses (including to the previous post...good work!) and especially your hugs. I will keep doing everything that I normally do as long as I can. I just have to be more careful about my balance and how I lift and do other things. I send you tons of love and hugs back and even more thanks for your support. It means a LOT to me.
1 person likes this
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
14 May 10
You know, I did say I disliked having to use a walker (I actually dream of walking without one), but that's not true, in one respect. Whenever I start to resent it, all I really need to do is remember how bad it was before I got my first walker. It was amazing, the first time I stood up using one; I told the attendant at the hospital it was like having new legs! I could stand without the excruciating pain! Well, even though the knees' cartilage is completely gone now, it's still miles better when using the thing, compared to not using it! Elic is right; if you haven't been fitted for a walker, get one! It'll make a huge difference! I hope you can come up with a good pain regime. I also think your teddy bear plan sounds like a good one. Any chance you can post pics of any you make? And any "jewelry (or) other art," ditto? I got hugs galore for you--wuh-oh...I hear thunder; gotta get off the 'puter! Until we chat again, hun, you take good care of yourself! And drop a prayer in God's ear for me, too! Hugs & cybersmooches to you! (((((oxoxo))))) Love, Maggiepie "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money." ~ -- Alexis de Tocqueville
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
15 May 10
Wow, you are so lucky! I miss the thunder storms we used to have in Montana. It would always get me sewing! Could you send a storm or two this way? Of course I will post pix of my creations. I have one necklace and earring set finished for the fair and I'll get pix of them tomorrow and post them. Needless to say that I am so excited that my last school commitment is Wednesday (I was appointed to a cultural diversity committee by the dean of my college, so I have to attend the meeting.). Thursday I start doing the major sort to get a ton of stuff out of the house and then I start working on bears and jewelry. I wish I could twitch my nose and everything would be done so I can start having fun...but unfortunately my nose doesn't twitch. Then, too, it doesn't help that neighbors drop things off for me to distribute to needy families. I have lamps and comforters to deal with too. But it is something that I enjoy doing too, so I won't eliminate it from my life. The really funny thing is that my back didn't really hurt that much until the doctor told me it would. But so far it has been pretty easy to control the pain with a couple of vicodin. Usually one does it for the day, but like today I needed a second one in the late afternoon...after I washed laundry and hung it on the line to dry. Tons of hugs and cybersmooches to you! Enjoy the thunderstorm for me please.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
13 May 10
Oh I am sorry loverbear, this kind of news can be depressing. I know many people don't believe in divine healing, but I do and I'd like to see you healed. I will pray for you.
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
15 May 10
I have had friends who were recipients of divine healing, and I hope that God sees fit to bless me with that healing. But if he doesn't, I am realizing that there may be another reason for what is going on. First, it has shown me how many wonderful friends I have made on the Lot. I never would have believed the friendships before I joined the group. I treasure my friends I have made here, to me they are more precious than all the diamonds and gold in the world. Secondly, I am realizing how much I miss doing my art work. I miss making the teddy bears and also designing and creating jewelry. By making me slow down and re-think my lifestyle, I am realizing that I need to turn back to my love and the talent that God gave me. I just need to keep in mind that I can't do a lot of the things that I usually do. Once I get that through my thick head I will be going in the right direction. Thank you so much for your prayers. They already have helped a LOT! I'll be posting about that in a few minutes. Hugs and love to you!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 May 10
This makes me cry, because you love your craft and you are good at it..It makes me rethink the problems I have with my dance and how there is no place to go but at home..Even if no church will except me, I can at least continue at home. Still praying and more so since you believe it is possible..
@sallyj (1228)
• United States
14 May 10
I know those days. You are stronger willed than they know. I have RA & OA, and not doing well at maintaining them. One gets better the other gets worse. Hope you get relief and they help you manage better. Please keep in contact. LOL Sally
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
14 May 10
I thank you for your wonderful wishes. I feel so small complaining about my problems when I know there are others out there in worse shape than I'm in. It reminds me of someone complaining about their shoes pinching until they find a person with no feet. I know that RA & OA (I also have OA)are horrible to deal with. It seems like people suffering from both forms of arthritis never seem to have much relief from the pain and discomfort. I admire people who attempt to live a normal life, especially with people suffering from both forms of arthritis at the same times. I wish I could hug away both forms of the arthritis for you so that you can be healthy and pain free.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
14 May 10
I am ever so sorry to read this, I do hope that there might still be something that they might be able to do something
• United States
13 May 10
I've been asking what else can happen for five years...so far I haven't liked any of the answers - at first. But there always seems to be a reason for the bad that turns up some good. For instance, we lost our fledgling business because the manufacturer needed backing money and sold out everyone on the east coast of Florida. We didn't have the money to restart and were left with two huge loans on our house. Sounds pretty bad, huh? But, my husband had been getting more and more tired, but blamed it on the long hours he spent with the new business and would not take time to see a doctor. Suddenly he had all the time in the world and found out he should have been in the hospital months before. He had five heart bypasses! If the business had continued, I'd be a widow today. My sister left her husband when he went bipolar and threatened her life. My brother and I had left home when she was only twelve, so we barely knew each other. She stayed with us for a year and finally I got to know my baby sister! Circumstances brought her son with her. He had a severe cough, but Mom said it was nothing to worry about. I disagreed and took my thirty-three year old nephew to the doctor. He had sarcoidosis and needed lots of meds and a hospital stay. He had no insurance, so we paid for it. What if my sister had not left her husband? They got back together when he got on the proper meds for bipolar disorder. My husband had a stroke last year and we moved from Florida to Pennsylvania to get him further help. As it turned out, the help only lasted six weeks at a rehab center. But, I now live fifteen minutes from my son and daughter-in-law and get to spend every holiday with them, which wasn't possible before. I've discovered wonderful friends and neighbors who help in every way they possibly can. Although I had friends in Florida, they simply were not well enough to help themselves a lot of the time, much less us. I was worried about money because I had two car payments, but could only drive one along with medical bills. The answer this time was to total one of the cars when an SUV ran into my Saturn! I was heartsick because it was the one I drove. It was also the one I owed the most on. With the loss of that vehicle, I also lost one car payment, my insurance went down and I didn't have to pay inspection fees in our new state! It wasn't the answer I would have picked, but it turned out to be the best, since no one was hurt in the accident. So, for every black cloud, a silver lining appears in spite of us. Do not give up, dear one. You've already had a major miracle in that you are walking far past what the doctor would have thought you could. Keep your chin up and look to a great future. There's a reason for everything.
@enola1692 (3325)
• United States
13 May 10
I know how scary this sounds to you but let me share something with you cause you remind me of yes me I was run over by a forklift an told I would be in a wheelchair an never have kids cause my spine somehow got all twisted I was always active an I dance in afew musicals in our local theater that also meant dancing was out I had surgery on the five disk on my lower back that were ruptured an even though it hurt like crazy I worked my butt off but today I am walking ,an doing my favorite thing which is hiking with my children yes I had two daughters since the doctors said I couldnt have any I will be praying for you for strength that you have the same out come I had or even better then I had there are days i hurt real bad an have to lay down on a heating pad or stand in a hot shower but the point is I walked to the shower an to the bed good luck
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
13 May 10
Hey Lover, Im sorry to hear that your MRI didnt go so well. However I am a nurse and I see these types of miracles everyday. Theres a chance that things wont go that way either. Ive seen things stay stagnant. If this happens it kind of just stops and doesnt progress. You will be fine. Im going to send you my strongest prayers. Hold your head up my friend. Ive been following your story from the first post. Dont start giving up on me now. Stay positive. dl