what do you think of a single mother having a baby girl

Philippines
May 13, 2010 4:04am CST
i just want to share my happiness right now, i just came from my ultra sound and im glad to see that my baby is fine inspite of all troubles and problem since her father left us. though i wanted to have a boy coz i was thinking that its better to have a boy specially if he doesnt have a father so he will grow up strong and independent coz im scared if its a girl and yet theres no father as i know i cant just take care of her alone, besides i dont want her to get pregnant early or other guy will ruined her same as what happened to me coz i know its really painful. But since god gave me a girl then its alright, i just wish she will be healthy and smart enough to choose whatever decision she might have in the future. I know some women are weak when it comes to love as most of the time we are the one who victimize with the guy's promises and we are the one who got pregnant though lucky if the guy is responsible enough to accept his responsibility but what if not. I dont want her to be in my position right now thats why im scared to have a girl. anyway i just hope god will guide her.
8 people like this
26 responses
@bieke81 (1069)
• Belgium
13 May 10
Whether it's a girl or a boy, your child will grow up as you teach it. If you teach her to be strong, and she doesn't need a man/partner to feel whole, she will take those lessons with her when she's older. I was raised by a single mother, and I came out allright :) It made me realise a few things, one of them being that I don't need a man, it's just nice to have one around ;) congratulations with your baby. Have a great day
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 May 10
yes thank you, i just hope i can teach her and show her the good way as im also a single mother alone with all the problem in my head so im scared if i really can guide her alone. Its my first baby and i never had any responsibility before even to my family coz im the youngest and normally i can get whatever i want, im just scared if i can be a good mother and if i can give her all things that can make her happy since she doesnt have a father. i know i will going to learn a lot in the future though right now im just scared. ill just lift it all to god.
2 people like this
@bieke81 (1069)
• Belgium
13 May 10
It's normal to be afraid, but you still have a few months to get your life on track, as we say. Look forward, not back and find the strenght in yourself to teach her what you want to teach her. Believe me, it's there, you just don't know it (yet). Have a great day
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
13 May 10
If you teach her to be strong, and she doesn't need a man/partner to feel whole, she will take those lessons with her when she's older. Exactly!! I was a single mother and both my son and daughter have become amazing, strong, independant, loving young adults..because thats how I taught them and raised them... Regardless of what many think..a child DOES NOT NEED both parents to grow up happy and successful..what they DO need is positive, loving role models in their lives..
2 people like this
• United States
14 May 10
you should not be scared for her future because you are in control. I may say that her father left you but it's okey your life must go on. and your baby should be your inspiration from now on that you have enough reason to go on living.! you are not alone, there are thousands of women nowadays of the same kind of situation you have. One thing, just DO NOT STAY AWAY FROM GOD.! He will always there to guide you to become a good mother to your baby girl. just takecare and be happy and enjoy what you've got now . she is your special gift! congratulations..! don't be sad because your baby can feel it..! who knows maybe one day..your husband might realized and come back one day and he will surprise you. what do you think about that?
2 people like this
• Philippines
14 May 10
i have no idea if he will come back again as i dont know where he is now, he already transferred to another place and i dont know where, his mobile is no longer ringing, his no longer in his previous work as i heard he already transferred to another place and got new work, i just wonder if theres another girl that make him change a lot, i really dont know, though someday if he comes back maybe i will let him for the baby sake but not for me as i already promise to rather look for another guy than accept him again after what he did to me, he totally crushed me to the ground without nothing.
• Philippines
13 May 10
Hello homeshoppers, Yes, i know this story. i hope nothing else is complicated besides your pregnancy.oh,just forget the man, and move on. maybe he was really in it for lust and never love, otherwise he wouldn't leave you in the first place. I think having a child is the greatest gift of your life. Love her and she will Love you back.
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 May 10
yes i know that you know my story since from the start of my pregnancy since i open it here and im glad to see you here still, im just scared of having a baby girl coz you already know how risky it is to have a girl for the fact that we always burden everything specially when it comes to love and we got pregnant since guys can easily get out if they dont want responsibility, though in girls whether we like it or not as we carry the baby then we have no choice but to accept the fact. and thats what i dont want to happen to her in the future though i know its still far from now but i just wish she will not going to be on the same situation as what i have now.
2 people like this
• China
13 May 10
First, congratulation! You know some one says that the moment that a woman are having a baby is the most beautiful moment in her life. So just enjoy the time. It's really a hard time when you get pregnant and the baby's father is not around. I've been in that period, too. But I came over it. Just try to enjoy every moment. It will be really memorable.
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 May 10
yes your right, its my first time to be a mother so i guess i need to just enjoy the moment than think of any worry. besides i know god will not let this happened to me if he knows i cant get it through, and i know im not the only person whose with this situation though i wished to have a boy but having a girl is not really bad as maybe god have other reason why she gave her to me.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
13 May 10
its better to have a boy specially if he doesnt have a father so he will grow up strong and independent Having a father in a childs life does NOT necessarily make him/her strong nor weak..its all in how you raise that child..I was a single mother of two and both my son and daughter are strong, compassionate ppl (they're teens now) becuase THATS HOW I RAISED THEM... yet theres no father as i know i cant just take care of her alone, besides i dont want her to get pregnant early or other guy will ruined her same as what happened to me You CAN take care of her alone and you WILL because as a parent ITS YOUR JOB AND RESPONSIBILITY! You are bringing this child into the world, that was YOUR choice so you MUST take care of her regardless of whether or not the father is in her life...and as for being "ruined"...are you really? Do you REALLY think you are ruined becuse you got pregnant young??? You need to get htat mindset out of your head seriously....You arent ruined unless you CHOOSE TO BE..so just dont choose to be..
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 May 10
oh sorry with the words ruin, i just felt that way when he left me as during that time i felt like he left me hanging as i dont have job so i was thinking that time of where to get money, frankly speaking, the money i used for my prenatal check up and prenatal vitamins, including the money i pay for my ultra sound is actually coming from my earnings online thats why im so thankful to have my online earnings as it helps a lot though so sad coz some are scam. anyway, i felt so ruined that time as like ive said as i dont know where to go since i have no money and i really felt that he totally smashed me to the ground leaving nothing for me. though i thank my sister nor family for helping me even though they already have their own family but then they cant give me money coz i know they have their own expenses too, so i only live with them for free lodging, free food and free electricity but all in all im still the one whose trying to look for money to support me and my baby's need. if looking at what my life before as compare to now i really felt that i was totally ruined and im just starting to pick up the pieces one by one to start a new.
1 person likes this
@donsky14 (5963)
• Philippines
13 May 10
First off, congratulations on you having a baby. I'm pregnant as well, and I'm almost due. Know what, its that guys lost for leaving you and your baby. But think of it this way, you have a wonderful blessing given to you, and I do understand why your scared of having a girl cause of what you've been through. But hey, your there to guide her so I'm sure your little girl will be okay. Again, congratulations! And good luck.
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 May 10
thank you, though im happy and scared for my baby's future, i just wish she will have a good future and not be victimize with those irresponsible guys out there like what happened to me as i know its very painful, emotionally, physically and even financially coz i dont have any job right now. though im just lucky to have my siblings and parents who supported me all the way.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
13 May 10
Hi Homeshoppers, Congratulations on your new little baby girl! It is hard being a single mom regardless of whether or not you have a boy or a girl. Boys need their dads just as much as little girls do and can be as difficult to raise in different ways. Still, it can be done. I raised all 4 of my girls pretty much on my own and they all turned out just fine. Of course, you can't prevent all heartbreak for them because that is part of life and learning. Still you can raise your daughter to be educated and have strong morals and ethics so that she is apt to make the right decisions. best of luck to both you and your baby.
@oldchem1 (8144)
13 May 10
Congratulations on your baby and good luck for the future for both you and your daughter. I am sure that you will be a wonderful mother, it is natural to worry, but I am sure that you will both be fine. Enjoy her !!
2 people like this
• India
13 May 10
The reasons why you are scared to have a girl would be valid even if a father was there…we women are naturally prone to this risk while men can walk away free whenever they want for whatever reason. Men have even molded society and framed the laws to protect themselves and make women feel guilty about something which was definitely a 50-50 thing. However, being a mother, I feel you’ll bond better with you daughter when she comes of age. If you don’t find another partner, then obviously she will grow up seeing you struggling alone and you can take it up from there and make her understand the difficulties of early / single pregnancy. If you are able to build that special bond, then I don’t think you’d need to worry about her. Boys are more difficult to manage and specially in their teens, there has to be a strong male presence in the house to mould a boy properly…in that way, its good you’re going to have a girl.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 10
yes i guess your right, women are really prone to risk when it comes to love whether the father is around or not as it really depends to them, and i guess its alright to have a girl since im also a woman so i can tell her what a woman must be and must not be as ive been there already. since i can relate to her and she can relate to me. though i really dont know if i can give her enough time as i might going to be busy with work since i will be the one supporting us, i just wished i can. though good thing is that girls can easily bond each other so maybe we will. im already excited to see her now and i cant wait to start a life with her.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 10
congratulations! i wish for you and your baby's future.. =) well., almost all the advices are give to you.. for me, don't be scared of having a baby girl.. think of it as a blessing from GOD.. think of it as an OPPORTUNITY to raise a girl whom you have wanted you to be.. (i'm not sure if my grammar is right.. LOL) as she grows, it will be a very good feeling seeing your daughter heading to the path you have always wanted to reach when you were still not pregnant with her.. and if it's a boy, i can visualize him, protecting you, being a father to his own siblings and being strong for you.. children are angels sent to us.. don't think being a single mom is a burden, if you are busy with your work, think of her/him as a pain reliever and stress remover..=)
1 person likes this
@cris_85 (40)
13 May 10
Its alright to be a single mother. The more important thing is that you can provide the needs of your baby girl. Its unfortunate that you met an irresponsible guy but we can't return back the time. Just get along with it and chose the path that where you want to be, with partner or not.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 May 10
one thing i also scared with a girl coz what if i found another guy and what if that guy is not really a good guy, like here in our country we had numerous cases of rape even as early as a baby by a step father. since i cant be with my child for the whole day coz im sure i will also going to be busy with work those time, i just cant help but think of those things. as i know for sure that if its a boy no one can harm him sexually even if i have a new partner or not. though i just lift it up to god so god will protect her all the way.
• India
13 May 10
Congrats my friend, one should accept the gift from the almighty, whether it is boy or girl, a girl is never weak as you feel, we should be bold , she can be trained to fight all odds, god is great, have faith on him.. Thanks for sharing. God bless you. Cheers. Prof
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 10
thanks, yes whether its a girl or boy, the baby is still a gift from god and need to take care with.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 May 10
you should not be scared for her future because you are in control. I may say that her father left you but it's okey your life must go on. and your baby should be your inspiration from now on that you have enough reason to go on living.! you are not alone, there are thousands of women nowadays of the same kind of situation you have. One thing, just DO NOT STAY AWAY FROM GOD.! He will always there to guide you to become a good mother to your baby girl. just takecare and be happy and enjoy what you've got now . she is your special gift! congratulations..! don't be sad because your baby can feel it..! who knows maybe one day..your husband might realized and come back one day and he will surprise you. what do you think about that?
1 person likes this
@658294 (35)
• United States
13 May 10
I always said that kids are a blessing and it does not matter if you are having a boy or a girl. A child needs both a mother and a father but since you did not properly qualify the father of the child you do have a problem but all is not lost that should only make you do better for yourself and your child. You do your part and God will do his part.
1 person likes this
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
13 May 10
what are you thinking? you are going to have a baby and you are thinking already of a future that is not good? maybe the father left you but you will be having the best person that will stand beside you through thick or thin. clear your mind homes and think of just nice and good things. you thinking that now will still affect your baby. think of happy thoughts. what you will be doing together if he is a boy, and what will you be doing together if he is girl. stop thinking negative thoughts. you are having a baby and it is tons of years away before she thinks of what you are thinking now. the first thing to think is to make your baby healthy. good luck.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 May 10
Hello homeshoppers, Congratulations on your Baby Girl. Don't worry too much as it will affect the baby also. As you mentioned, God will guide her. I know you can be a good mom to your baby girl and you will be able to guide her so that she don't have to go through same painful experience as yours. Just pray always. Take care and have fun mylotting red_amethyst
1 person likes this
@charylady (424)
• Philippines
13 May 10
congratulations! i think your daughter is very lucky to have you for a mom. it won't be easy raising a daughter alone but i think you are strong and will do a great job. good luck.
1 person likes this
@rosie230 (1674)
13 May 10
Awww thats really sweet, and congratulations to you!! I just want to say though that I think that no matter what gender your child is, as long as you bring it up the way you want, and teach it right from wrong, you will be fine... I have 2 boys, and although I bring them up as a single mum, the father is not really around, so I have to try and teach them wrong from right, and it is hard work sometimes... I think that you are actually blessed to have a little girl, because having 2 boys, I can actually see that a father around them would be better for boys, i think they need that male presence in their lives. As your having a girl, and with no father around, your daughter will be a Mummy's girl anyway, and you will soon see that in time. You have nothing to worry about, and you will be fine bringing up your daughter on your own.
1 person likes this
@Rhazelle (356)
• Canada
13 May 10
Good luck with that =) I'm sure you'll be a great mother.
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12445)
• Malta
15 May 10
Hi Homeshoppers, I hope that you have a good pregnancy and a healthy childbirth. May God grant you a healthy child whether it is a boy or a girl. I hope that you have enough strength to take care of your child on your own. I am sorry your partner has left and you have to take care of your child on your own. Be courageous. Raising a child on your own is no joke being it financially or emotionally. I hope that you receive help in both aspects. take care
• Philippines
16 May 10
yes your right, physically, emotionally and financially its not really easy while the guy is just having fun for sure, he didnt even know the hardship ive been into and i guess i have no idea if im going to accept him again as if somehow someday he will shown up again maybe i dont want to see him but for the child sake only.
@chaime (1153)
• Philippines
14 May 10
First and Foremost, CONGRATULATIONS! You know what, a baby is a blessing no matter what your circumstances are. Second, there are plenty of single moms out there who are able to work things out and take care of her child. Now as for you fearing that your little girl will suffer the same fate as you, well, DON'T! You will just worry yourself sick with that kind of worries of what will be and what can be. Honestly, there is no way for you to control how your child will live her life. What you can do is teach her, teach her the valuable lesson you have learned, after what her father did to you. Don't be bitter, just state facts. Being bitter will rub off on her and that will not be good either. Next is love her with all your might. You show her how special she is and how loved she is by her mom, so she will not feel lacking, even though she don't got a father. Finally, enjoy your pregnancy. Enjoy the difference in your body, enjoy the feel of the baby inside your tummy. well that's my two cents here, hope it helps ^_^
• Philippines
15 May 10
thanks