Do you often think before speaking or you speak without thinking?

@zandi458 (27951)
Malaysia
May 18, 2010 6:55am CST
With this God gifted brains, we should utilize it to full advantage to think before speaking. But how many times have you spoken words without thinking which ended in misunderstandings with others especially with someone close to you emotionally? I know it hurts but there are times when the frequency of the mind and the words that comes out from the mouth does not parallel. Like a glass of water, we like to drink pure, crystal clear water, and if the water is unclean, we would feel uncomfortable. We understand this for water but what about our minds? When our minds are clouded, the words we speak too are clouded. We don't always understand why we have said something. But when we see the impact of something we have said, we wish we had not uttered it, but then it is too late.
9 people like this
29 responses
@alottodo (3063)
• Australia
21 May 10
Hi zandi...where have you been?...I missed your lovely and meaningful discussions!...any way speaking whithout thinking have put me in several bad situations more than once...now a days I tend to be more careful...I Am older and wiser so some times I just keep my mouth shut even when I know Im right!...and this happen with my family now [ as we are having a dificult time] which is bound to happen in every family[ unless things get out of hand]I just sit back and let them figure it out...zandi we all say things in the heat of the moment...without thinking but is never too late to go back and apologise and say how one felt at that time...we all have our days some better than others...that is life!
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
21 May 10
Hi allottodo, have been busy putting everything in order before I fly off to Brisbane for a 3 months holiday. Am here always but not posting many discussions as I will be off on 29th May and might not be able to participate here regularly as I don't know whether I'll be able to use a computer or not. So will be MIA for quite a while. Well, talking about speaking without thinking, it is a common mistake we often do when our mind is clouded and could not content our speech. But you're right, as we grow older we tend to mellow down and scrutinize every situation before blurting out words from our mouths.
@alottodo (3063)
• Australia
22 May 10
Oh wow! you are coming to Australia!...I live in NSW but if you like to meet just let me know...just send me a private message...I can travel out to Brisbane in one day...I really would like to meet you...just let me know.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
Allotodo...It will be great to see a mylotter in real. Yes,I am here now in Bundaberg. I don't know where the world is this place. I am already one month here and have stayed in Bagara esplanade for a week before moving to my sis rented house. This place is very near to Queenland University where my sister is working.
@ANTIQUELADY (36493)
• United States
19 May 10
U wrote your discussion on me, didn't u?lol. I never mean to hurt anyone's feelings ever but am guilty of saying just what i think.
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
I am quite vocal at times but that is me and don't mean anything hurting.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36493)
• United States
29 Jun 10
Hi lady, good to see u back on here, have missed u. Hope u had a good time. Happy tuesday to u.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
30 Jun 10
Hi lady...I was itching to get back to mylot. Am still in Bundaberg, Queensland now. My sister has just settled down in a new rented house and the internet was only connected recently. Hope to be here often.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
19 May 10
Hey zandi! I try very hard to think before I speak because I do know how damaging this can be if you say the wrong things! I used to do this alot more often, but now that I have gotten myself under control I seem to be alot better off! You are right that there are alot of people that do this more often! Maybe if people thought before they spoke there would be alot less problems in this world!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
I agree that half this world problems will be solved if people are more decent vocally. The tongue can be sharper than the sword.
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
29 Jun 10
And that is so true my dear friend! And so wonderful to see you zandi! Please don't tell me that "they" have gotten you to go over to the "dark side"~FB) too?
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
18 May 10
Only when I have took something so long that I need to speak harshly I do. Like when I came back from my vacation and the whole family was hollering at each other and then I was getting holered at really for no reason. I had to take my daughtr down a peg by letting her know that I didnt really like to be hollered at for no reason and that she had been doing just that since I got home. Her face dropped really I didnt feel bad for she finaly realized she had been hollering and even grand daughter was too. So now they have calmed down. So sometimes its good to say the wrong thing but at the right time!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
19 May 10
When provoked by such kind of unpleasant behavior, it is only right that you give your piece of words to calm the situation.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
19 May 10
YEah but I realy snapped back at her and I really sort of felt bad after but I never told her we are really working on the hollering specially with grand daughter who dont listen and has to be told several times then mom does holer at her. At least its not as bad as it was.
@basqui (3892)
• Philippines
18 May 10
There are really times when you are enraged or excited that you can say words that could hurt others. Maybe what we should do is think if the person you're talking to is an open-minded person. Or what is really best to do is to think before speaking.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
19 May 10
You're right, think before speaking. People might have wrong understandings of what we speak when we speak in jest.
@basqui (3892)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Of course, we might not know that the person could respond violently or not if he is pissed by what we have spoken.
@redhotpogo (3935)
• United States
18 May 10
I do both. At first I think before I speak, but then I get on this roll where I'm just saying all the right things, and so I stop thinking, and I'm just letting my mouth run, and then before you know it i've said something wrong, and I go from looking like a decent; intelligent guy, to a complete idiot, and a jerk. Its all about getting excited. Gotta not let your emotions take over, just remain calm, and think out everything. Even if the response seems like a simple one, think before you talk. Think about what you say, and how it will effect other people. That's what I'm working on.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
19 May 10
Hi redhotpogo, I appreciate your great advice and would try to keep peace and remain silent from now on so as not to provoke others with uncensored words.
• United States
19 May 10
Me too lol. Some people will try to get a bad response out of you. You have to have control over yourself, and not let them control your actions.
• India
18 May 10
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1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (77754)
• Marion, Kansas
18 May 10
Solomon raj, welcome to MyLot. I am going to remind you that if you have read the terms of service here, you know that we do all posting in English. MyLot so kindly will pay people from all around the world, which most forums will not, but they do ask you to speak English, because the moderators are not multilingual.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
19 May 10
I agree with you GG, English is the common language used here and admin would not recognize any other language besides English.
@kaka135 (13097)
• Malaysia
10 Jun 10
I think it depends whom I am talking to. Usually I will think before I speak, especially something serious and work-related topics. But, when I am talking to my husband and my family, I usually just speak out what's in my mind. I suppose I still think before I speak to him, but maybe sometimes I don't think very detailed. When my mind is not clear, I usually keep quiet, as I think I may not be able to think properly and speak nicely, hence it's better to keep quiet and calm down myself before I speak.
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
Speaking and thinking are interlinked. Words spoken are carefully crafted by the thinking mind and without thinking we can't possibly utter words. It is better to remain silent than speaking without thinking.
• Philippines
30 May 10
i always try to think before i speak. remember words, once spoken cannot be taken back.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
True words spoken remain a record that might make or break a person.
@salonga (25992)
• Philippines
22 May 10
I admit, there are times I speak without even thinking. Those are times when I allow my temper to rule over me. But I realized I had to be very careful with my temper because it could hurt people. I've learned lessons from past mistakes so, as much as I could, I now think first before speaking. But you know I would admit that there are still some rare times that I still fail in controlling my mouth. At any rate, there are times that we have to speak out even if it would hurt but we can always do that in a more tactful manner and that we could do if we will think first before delivering our thoughts. I mean it is always good to think and assess first the consequences of the words that will come out of our mouth before letting them out and if in the spirit of truth and justice we still have to speak out, we can always do in a more diplomatic and respectful manner. In all cases controlling the tongue and allowing the mind to think first does good. As the Bible in James 3:5 stated: "Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!" Good relationship takes time to build and it would be sad if it could be destroyed in a minute all because someone did not control his or her tongue. There are also so many prominent people who lose good reputation just because they failed to think first before speaking their minds in just one single occasion. So it is better to think first before speaking.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
Well...well..we humans are bound to fall into temperamental swings which reduce us to little devils that can cause a lot of bad bloods.
@phoenix8606 (4978)
19 May 10
hhaha! yes, I always think before speak, otherwise I wont have normal live, because there are so many people who don do that, and live like freaks. the only time when I don't think before speaking is when I am angry and that's what i actually don't like! we must always think before speak!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
Yes, angry people are ugly people. They speak without thinking.
• South Korea
19 May 10
Words really play a big part of our life.. and yeah i wish i could think first before speaking but unconciously its just that it came out of my mouth all of a sudden...lol there were also times that i wanna talk but I dont have the guts to tell it, I wonder to..... lol maybe that is natural to humans... yes we have brain BUT emotions,and feeling comes first always... i think
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
You are so right here princess.
@RawBill1 (8543)
• Gold Coast, Australia
19 May 10
I think before I speak most of the time. Sometimes I ponder what I am about to say for too long. This gets frustrating in a group conversation as I can sometimes get left behind when the conversation is fast moving. This used to really get me down and I felt that I was not as smart as others, but as I have gotten older, I have realised that different people are different in the ways that they communicate and that does not make people smarter just because they can think quick in conversation. Sometimes these quick thinkers blurt out something too fast and hurt peoples feelings!
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
Hi RawBill, I think I am like you too. I don't have a quick thinking and it will take me a while to grasp what others are talking but that doesn't mean we are dull. Different individuals possess different. Just accept the way we are.
@sender621 (14970)
• United States
19 May 10
My first intention is to think before I speak. It is usually the best course of axtion to take. Sometimes feelinhs get in the way of this. When you speak before thinking, problems can arise from the situation.
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
It is usually problems arising if one speaks without thinking.
@neildc (16904)
• Philippines
19 May 10
sometimes, i really regret being so talkative and speaking without thinking. there are times that me and my wife would argue and the fastest you try to retaliate, some things will get out of our mouths and will regret it later. how and why have i speak of those words.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
Well, we can't help it as it is part of our human flaws. Learning to be patient under any circumstances helps.
@evepin (723)
• Philippines
19 May 10
i really try very hard to think first before speaking, especially if the topics involve sensitive issues or there is a brewing argument. however there really are times when i just let loose and spew out brim and fire... then regret what i said after. this happens with my husband, and i know it's not good. dont get me wrong, these are only a few times and only when i just couldn't take things anymore. nice topic, very timely. thanks and happy myLotting!
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
Hi evepin, we should try to refrain from blurting out words that are hurting especially to our spouse as it will dent the relationship.
• United States
19 May 10
I find myself speaking before thinking quite a bit. Often things I say are misunderstood and taken the wrong way. I need to train myself to stop and think before I open my mouth.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
We are only human and we are bound to make this sort of mistake - speaking without thinking.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
19 May 10
I have been making a point of thinking before speaking because I made a few errors of judgement in the past and my mouth blurted out words before my brain caught up! As far as I can remember my mouth has not created any big problems which I have not been able to get myself out of, for example while getting ready to go out, years ago, my then roommate told me she was having trouble doing her hair and without a thought I said, “It’s messy but don’t worry it’s dark in the club!” At that moment I had the audacity to wonder why she looked hurt...Yes, think first, let the brain work, then talk...My ex roommate is still my friend, thankfully.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
You're lucky your friend is understanding and those unintended remarks did not create bad blood.
1 person likes this
@acey76 (1280)
• Philippines
18 May 10
Well for me i think first before speaking i don't want somebody to feel bad or i have to assess first for the right aproach before i speak so i don't have to hurt anyones feeling =)
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
29 Jun 10
It shows that you are a very careful person.
@Augustinev (7019)
• Delhi, India
18 May 10
I want to think before I speak . because I tend to go on about the strange things. because I wasn't ' even thinking about them. I have made many decisions, that I have regretted in the past because I hadn't thought them through , and its the time for a change(like obama said), I think that We must think twice or thrice before doing or taking action and other things also. thinking very important factor to avoid mistakes in life. augustine
@zandi458 (27951)
• Malaysia
19 May 10
I too have so much regrets for doing things without thinking and keep repeating the same mistakes over the years.