marriage ......... ( 01 )

@shibham (17025)
India
May 23, 2010 7:57am CST
HI FRIENDS,..... hope all of you are well. i want to share an instance of marriage with all of you. how many days are possible to arrange a marry? i mean if you are in love, then how many days u will take to get marry with your beloved after meeting his/her? if it is a case of arrange marriage, then how many days you will take after selecting your partner? same to all of them who already get married that how many days they took? here, i have found a couple who met each other in a day and got married just next day. they might not had the sufficient time to understand each other but in their post married life of seven years, they are fully happy now having two kids. it made me surprised after hearing it. so what about you? waiting for your replies. thanks in advance. have a nice day
4 people like this
21 responses
@jugsjugs (13045)
23 May 10
There are alot of people that tend to get married in a hurry for some reason and they find the idea of a wedding aswell as to say they are married is great as that is what all their friends have done as they are all married,only to find that being married to that person is not what they thought it was going to be, so it ends in divorce.I think that you have to live with a person to truely know all of their faults aswell as for them to know all of your faults for at least a year maybe two before even thinking of getting married.
1 person likes this
@karen1969 (1788)
23 May 10
Yes, I agree, I think people can rush into marriage and not understand what it truly entails. When I first got married at 20, I had an idealistic view of marriage and thought it would last forever, but we were too young and really, we weren't compatible. When I got married again in my early 30s, I had lived with him for 4 years and we knew each other so much better and we have been together 13 years so far!
@shibham (17025)
• India
28 May 10
hi jugjug. i agree as karen that we should not be too hurry for marriage. at least we have to need a period to understand as well but here i have found that they are both happy and living without any tress. i do believe it as a miracle bcoz it may occur once in 100000 couples. have a nice day.
@babyEj (1525)
• Philippines
24 May 10
Let me start like, marriage is a process of sealing your love to someone. Then it must take steps. Sealing a love had a lot of points to consider such as maturity of couples, wholly capable to take responsibility, and YOUR LOVE. I'm 20 when i met my hubby and it was odd to both of us since my parents don't like him. A one year secret relationship and struggle. Then after six months we decided to have a gift of son, a year after we are on the acceptance stage. Everything seems lighter than before. I would say, days or years doesn't matter as long as the marriage is for LOVE. Everything that happened and will happen would likely be easier to adjust and keep if both of you love each other.
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@shibham (17025)
• India
7 Jun 10
hi friend, at first thanks for your nice response. i dont know whether their marriage was an arranged or love? its totally tough to recognize, anyway many families stay rigid and become steady in case of love relationship but later they become too light and easy.... its a genuine matter as i have seen in my life. whereas the god gift also plays a vital role in case of acceptance of that type of relation. have a nice day and sorry for late comment.
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
23 May 10
Hello dear bhai, Instant marriage or prepared/arranged marriage is not based on how long it's been prepared or how long you've known each other. It is love,respect and honesty that matters most for me. Some people known each other since childhood and even loved each other for long time before getting married,but still,after few years,they ended up with separation. Love indeed fade when it is not well take care off. love wears out when,it is not tend with loving,care and respect. Ok,back to your question,my marriage is not a well prepared one. It's a rush wedding. But,for a grand wedding,it takes 2 to 3 months of preparation. From choosing the secondary sponsors,brides maid/grooms men and etc. For the wedding entourage alone,it takes a month to choose the concern people. Plus the church arrangement,the wedding gowns and flowers. The wedding singer and or the marching band to played the music vows. The reception and foods,the wedding cake,give aways and souvenirs. The camera man,and video...the wedding invitations. Whew...so much to prepare... Are you planning for a wedding my dear brother? Am i invited?
@shibham (17025)
• India
29 May 10
i am agree with you dear didi that respect and honesty are the main matter to maintain a perfect married life. oh... you have a vast knowledge on a married life. well done didi. i thought that it was a rush bcoz i was not invited as well. hahaha... i think that you were looked beautiful wearing the gown having flowers in your hand. do you have a picture of that time? no. i have no plan to get marry till date. i want to enjoy this life more. hahaha
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
29 May 10
oh,i posted my wedding picture once here as my avatar...well,maybe i will post it again next time for you my dear bhai
@shibham (17025)
• India
29 May 10
Thanks. If u wish then u may send it to pranab.bhagabati3@gmail. Com. Its my id. I shall preserve it in my album. Take care.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
One day. No sweetie i don't think that will last. As i understand it, you have to get to really know each other, then you get engaged and then if you stil love each other you get married. It can take anything from 5 months to about two years. TATA.
@shibham (17025)
• India
23 May 10
yes, i also dont believe it if some one says but i have met that couple in person. if they have said the truth then is not it a really surprise? ( i believe that they never tell a lie to me ). just tell about your choice? hahaha...
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
If i tell will you use your EEMMOOTTIICCOONNSS??
@shibham (17025)
• India
23 May 10
Yeah sure. Lets share
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
7 Jun 10
Time is not really the reason to get married because no matter how long or how short you met someone its still the feelings that matters most and not the period of time meeting someone.But impulsive decision may result to break ups or divorced...its still best to give it some time to know each other...
@shibham (17025)
• India
7 Jun 10
hi amigo. kumutsa ka? yes, thats a real speech. a perfect soul mate can meet in a very short time and its not necessary to prolongate that relation if you already find out the right one for your life. have a nice day. salamat.
@anuraa32 (2452)
• India
26 May 10
well when I decide to get married, I will wait for a few months from the meeting the boy to marrying him. I have learnt from my experiences that first impressions are not always correct. So I will take my time to know the boy before marrying him. So, yes it would be around eight months to ten, before I get married to him.
@shibham (17025)
• India
7 Jun 10
ohhhh.... you are to conscious dear friend. its really a good symptoms. i appreciate it a lot. if we try to follow that instance then there are lots of chances to get failed bcoz it sudden happens... have a nice day and sorry for late response.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
25 May 10
My experience is, the quicker they get married, the shorter the marriage lasts. I'd say 6 months to a year long engagement.
@shibham (17025)
• India
7 Jun 10
hi andy. perhaps you have not read my discussion properly where i have said that they have two kids now and enjoying the seventh year of their married life. have a nice day and sorry for be lated comment.
@dawnald (84133)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 May 10
I think maybe they were lucky... I took four years before I got married and it wasn't enough. Or perhaps your lucky couple hasn't been married long enough to really face serious challenges. Or perhaps I was an idiot. :D
@shibham (17025)
• India
7 Jun 10
yes they are lucky enough. i think they have the complete potentials to overcome any challenges of a married life. as i know my friend in person, he has a strong heart and self confidence to tackle any conflict. have a nice day and sorry for be lated comment.
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
24 May 10
That is just nuts! I can't believe people sometimes marry after just meeting someone! Alot of times it doesn't work out but it sounds like it did for the couple you mentioned! Planing a wedding it depends on what type of wedding you want. I known people who plan out a wedding,get married then have the dinner and recetion later on a different day. I know a coulpe who got married by the justice of the peace and are having their reception next month! I have friends who are getting married on Saturady. They took a year to plan their wedding! My sister is getting re-married in mid-August. She gave herself 3 months to plan for it! Her wedding is going to be simple and casual! It all depends on how where,when,what size,the cost,who is paying for it,how much the couple wants to spend, and lots of other thins I can't think of right now! It just depends!
@shibham (17025)
• India
7 Jun 10
hahaha..... i understand what are you feeling just after reading this discussion. i knew that its unbelievable to maximum as me. dont think that they had not arranged any party or reception ceremony later? they did and they proved that a perfect soul mate can gain in a day even their married life is still running happily. so i always consider it as a miracle. have a nice day and sorry for be lated comment.
@pabreen (237)
• Philippines
24 May 10
In my case, I was courted by my husband for six months, we worked in the same office that's why we have the chance of seeing each other everyday. He proposed marriage after a series of visits in our house, he was then 32 and I was 24yrs.old. We are now married for 23 years. Even if you don't know each other for long and you decided to get married, what is important is to be faithful with each other and keep that love burning between you and your partner.
@shibham (17025)
• India
7 Jun 10
hi pabreen. its nice to hear that you are enjoying a happy married life for a long period. be happy always. again, if you believe that marriage is a bond of soul, then it never relies upon the time better it gives the importance of the depth of a relation. have a nice day and sorry for be lated comment.
@joan2010 (45)
• China
24 May 10
I can't understand why they rush into marriage,it's like a adventure.I can't get marriage before understand my lover deeply,both of us shuold be reposible for our marriage.
@shibham (17025)
• India
7 Jun 10
hi joan.. perhaps they were waiting to meet the proper person of their lives and at that time they realized they have find out and so they rush to marry. its miracle friend. nothing else.... have a nice day and sorry for be lated response.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
24 May 10
In the instances of our arranged marriage system, there is not much time to get to know the partner. The plans, arrangements are all made by elders. We just have a meeting betwen the two parents and the boy and the girl and after they decide whether they like each other[ a very short time that really cannot determine-however, since it is a case of matching of qialifications, family compatibility etc.., we check only broad parameters.] It is diffciult and like hte case you haev pointed out the coule find their balance slowly.Initially it starts with chemistry, then slowly understanding has to evolve.
@shibham (17025)
• India
7 Jun 10
yes, i always consider that instance as a miracle bcoz it sudden happens. i am also well familiar with that arrange marriage system bcoz its more common in my area than love marriage. there are too more formalities in case of arrange marriage and so the new generation is now going to be involved in love marriage. have a nice day and sorry for be lated response.
@mspitot (3834)
• Philippines
24 May 10
it is not advisable to do that cause getting married is a very important decision in life but for that case, since they are happy, i think we should just be happry for them too. i'm glad they're still together and living happily.
@shibham (17025)
• India
29 May 10
Nice speech really. I appreciate it a lot. Yes, they are happy and let us wish for their happy and prosperous life. Have a nice day.
• China
24 May 10
i think first time they have attraction and they decided i want to live with her/him.slowly their friendship devloped and then love happen i think this way they worked and it is very good
@shibham (17025)
• India
29 May 10
Yes, they met each other in a journey by train. Eventually there were no one in that cabin and begin to talk. As a result they understood each other and got married the next day. Thanks and sorry for late response.
@piya84 (2591)
• India
24 May 10
Was it a arrange marriage?These types of love marriages are unheard.I know this is very common here in India and many people make marriage successful even after knowing little bit each other before marriage.They try their best to make other person fall in love.Many of such marriages are successful and many aren't. There are so many people who dont fall in love and get trap in unwanted marriage.
@shibham (17025)
• India
28 May 10
i cant give any name to this marriage bcoz nether it is an arrange marriage nor love as they met each other just previous day of their marriage. yes i am agree with the you specially the last sentence and i think i am also about to be the victim of it. hahaha.. take care
@ellie333 (21029)
23 May 10
Hi Shibham, In the UK I think it yakes time to arrange, about three weeks I think. I had known my husband all my life and we were together about 5 years before we married. The marriage itself did not last long though so there are no guaranteees and if these people are still happy I guess that must have known upon meeting that they were made for each other. Huggles. Ellie :D
@shibham (17025)
• India
28 May 10
yes, i know that it takes time to get marry with someone in many countries. as i know that couple that they have the complete abilities to enjoy a long lasting life. i think they were made for each other. have a nice day.
• Philippines
23 May 10
Wow. That couple you've met was on a hurry, alright. It depends on the couple and the wedding they're planning to hold. If they plan a grand celebration wedding then it could take long to plan it but if they're really on a hurry then they can always get married at the nearest city hall. :)
@shibham (17025)
• India
28 May 10
no, they did not arrange any party and they did not maintain any ritual or formalities of a social marriage. it was one kind of live together but as they have kids now, society begin to consider them as a married couple. have a nice day.
• Philippines
23 May 10
Well that is good to hear, they process marriage there easily, probably if there is no issue of beliefs and traditions with regards to getting married. I am married to a foreign national. We have been steady gf/bf stage for 4 years to know each other very well and then we decided to get married. The application took time because it has to be posted for one month so that both is cleared to public. After we filed for marriage, we waited out for one month and finally we got our marriage certificate cleared . Our case is not that easy, I am a foreigner living in my hubby's country so I produced a lot of documents to prove that I was single with no obligations before I married an Indian national. Anyway, what is important is that you love each other and will take good care of each other before God and your family.
@shibham (17025)
• India
28 May 10
hi, thanks a lot for the informations about you. it means that you are now an indian and if its so then welcome to greater indian family. yes, there are too many formalities in other countries but as i have mentioned above that we have no need to function too much formalities here in my locality so their decision took place easily. some years ago, the marriage certificate was not essential but now it is. have a nice day.
@cip116 (1011)
• Romania
23 May 10
In our country can not to be so soon If the couple married under civil and not religious...have medical tests...and 7 days of waiting So, the two can reconsider this problem in 7 days:))
@shibham (17025)
• India
23 May 10
ohh... there are too more formalities. here in my location no need to follow to much but yet there are some bindings as well. have a nice day.
@karen1969 (1788)
23 May 10
Here in the UK, I don't think it would be possible to get married the day after meeting each other, as you need to go to the register office a week or so before. I met my first husband on October 1988, we got engaged in December 1988, began living together in January 1989. We got married in November 1989, when I was 20 and he was 22. We had our child in October 1990 but split up when she was 6 weeks old. In hindsight, I can see we were too young and really not compatible. My current husband is much better, as we met when he was 22 and I was 27. We have been together 13 years now and married for 8 years, so you can see we were together much longer before we got married.
@shibham (17025)
• India
23 May 10
yes friend, it seems that you took enough time to get married with a person. here also we are bound to register our marriages but not as you have mentioned. we may registered after married. its also true that there are too many formalities to get second marriage. so most couple want to live with each other... if all run well. take care.
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