I Lost My Sister When Her Husband Died..........

United States
May 29, 2010 5:56pm CST
My sister who I used to have a very close and loving relationship with is no longer a part of my life. When we were younger and our mom left us I took care of her and protected her. Later in life we were placed in foster care and I still took care of and protected her. After we aged out of care we both had boyfriends and both became pregnant 4 months apart from each other (neither one on purpose)and that alone made our bond even better. I love my sister with all my heart and soul. A year later she had another baby with the same man( they were common law married). Me and my sister and our babies did everything together. My sister and her husband were fighting as usual in August of this past year and she and her two kids come to stay a couple nights with me and my son in our apartment. Late that night there was a knock on my door and it was a polie officer he was there to tell my sister that her husband was drinking and driving about 115mph and hit a concrete mailbox and died. She was in shock bc of their fighting and how she never got to say goodbye or that she was sorry and how he didnt see his babies the last few days bc they were fighting, it was a really hard situation. I let her stay with me until she could get on her feet. She started recieving big bucks from social security for her and her kids and she changed. The money took my sister away from me. She started sleeping with the man that was supposed to be her husbands best friend right after the funeral he hadn't even been gone a month and she was sleeping with random men and experimenting with women. She thinks that all her money makes her better than me bc she can support her children without a struggle now, unlike me. She loaned my boyfriend some money to get out of jail one time and he went over to her house to thank her for it and her and her girlfriend started pulling out their breasts and acting like fools so he left. He told me about it and when I confronted my sister about how she acted all she could say is "so he come over to my house, I can run around naked if I want to, it's my house". Needless to say she has no remorse for her actions and now I can't stand to be near here. Here actions have caused me to loose my precious neice and nephew who I love dearly and miss so much. I am hurting so much right now but I don't know what to do to fix this. I dont want to see her but I want to see her babies! I'm sorry this was so long I just thought that you should know all the details so that you can give me proper advice back. PLEASE HELP ME AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING, I MEAN SHE CANT BE TRUSTED!!!!
1 person likes this
4 responses
• United States
5 Jun 10
Your sister sounds as though she might be acting out because she misses her husband. Yeah her throwing money into your face like that is wrong but please forgive her and don't take it to heart. Just try your best to give her some space for a while and then try talking to her. Try and be there for her kids and ignore her snide comments. Don't give her that power of knowing her silly comments affect you. Don't let her comments get in on the inside but block them. And try not to focus so much on her. Try just focusing on your own family and what they need and if you see any red flags with her kids then act upon those red flags. Distance yourself a wee bit from concentrating so much your sis. The less stress you have in your life the better. My sister is dating someone right now that I can't stand and I know when I distance myself from her and not call or focus on her she starts to come around and call after about a month. But everyone is different and reacts to different situations. Try focusing on how YOU can make more money for your family. Focus on your children and you being happy. This will ease some of your stress.
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
1 Jun 10
It's not an easy task but try to talk with your sister, just because you love her. After trying, even if you failed, at least you know you did try.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
30 May 10
it could be her just really hurting from loosing him, and when he was alive maybe she wasnt allow to go and have a good time because he was controling. but i think maybe try and sit and talk with her. or maybe in time this all will pass hopfully. to me its just sound like she greving in a strang way.
@qianyun6 (2067)
• China
30 May 10
After reading your article I'm so amazing that a person can be so different from herself only by money.... I think you should advise her that that will break down her life, even her babies' life. I bless you can succeed in this. To the worst, if she refuse to come to her senses, maybe you can ask the court, get the custody of your nephews and the right of using the social security relative to your nephews.