Steriotypical Husband and Wife Roles

June 7, 2010 7:24am CST
My mother-in-law is a complete steriotype in the way that she does exactly what she believes - she cooks, cleans, sews, brought up her children while her husband worked, took care of her husband while he came home from work and sat and did nothing and so on... When I fell pregnant with my daughter I had many a lecture about the fact that according to her I should never work until my child is out of school and should cook, clean and basically have no other life than to be at the beck and call of my daughter and husband. Obviously they do come first and formost to me though me and my husband are not the old fashioned steriotype. In fact my husband does most of the cooking in our house even though he works as he enjoys it and i need some sewing to do my husband is the one for that as I cant sew to save my life! Do you believe that the steriotype jobs of husband and wife should be 'obeyed' or do you think times have changed? What is it like in your relationship?
2 people like this
8 responses
@catalyser (531)
• Malaysia
7 Jun 10
Stereotype or not, in my opinion, as long as it keeps the family going and happy about it, then its fine. The stereotype might work for some but it might not for others. There should be a middle ground to this. But like I said earlier, whatever it is, as long as the family is happy, then nothing else should matter.
7 Jun 10
That is very true.
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
7 Jun 10
Hi, elfbwillow. In my marriage, me and my husband both help each other out. But, I do most of the cleaning though. He washes, dries and folds the clothes during laundry. He mops sometimes. And he washes dishes as well. He is very helpful around the house, he really is. I do most of the cooking and he cooks certain foods, like cornbread, pancakes. I do the other types of cooking. He works outside of the home, while I stay at home and take care of our three children. A woman should not have to do everything herself. Her husband should chip in to help her out. It is very unfair if a woman has to do it all. A man should do fulfill the same roles as woman too. Suppose the woman gets sick or is gone from the house for a long time, then, the man will have to take upon the role to help out. He mine as well learn now, then to have to learn along the way as he has a load to do. A man and woman should be equal in marriage. Both should help each other around the house.
7 Jun 10
It is great when husband and wife are equal in their roles. I do feel sorry for women who do everything with no help whatsoever though I guess some of those women are like my mother-in-law who chooses to do it that way.
@Galena (9123)
8 Jun 10
I think people should take the roles they are most skilled to do, regardless of gender. my husband can't work, so I'm the only one that works, albeit part time. I love to cook, so I do most of the cooking. he does most of the washing up, so that I have a nice clean, clear kitchen to cook in (our kitchen is very small so there's no working around the mess) he tends to tidy the living room and do the vacuuming. I look after the garden, it's pretty much all my own work, and I'll just call him in to help me with anything I can't lift (he goes to the gym, I don't. I tend to get him to clean the bathroom as well. in the winter we take our washing to the laundrette, as it's difficult to get it all dry when the weather is bad, but it summer I tend to put it on to wash, and we both hang it out. a marriage is teamwork. not one person serving another.
@jasmeena (850)
• Indonesia
8 Jun 10
I think the best solution in shared responsibilities. Husband must appreciate what his wife has done at home, not just complaining.My brother-in-law can cook, my dad sometimes help my mom and us do house chores, and there is nothing wrong with that.
7 Jun 10
I know that my Mother has had similar problems with Mother-in-laws and her own Mother even! This is particularly true when it comes to keeping the house clean and tidy. Her parents are happy to dedicate a lot of their life to house keeping, and therefore cannot understand we have other commitments. As well as my Mum having bought up 4 children!! We are a different generation and we should do things the way we see fit!
@durgabala (1362)
• India
7 Jun 10
This tradition of wife cooking and serving her husband was there in my mother's time, now everything has changed. Today almost all women are educated and want to work. Due to globalisation and IT every other graduate woman is employed. joint families are breaking into nuclear ones. Kids are more in the creche than at home. Today's youngsters do not want their parents or in-laws to take care of their kids, they find the modern day care centers comfortable. Husbands have learnt to cook and they are better cook actually, (though my husband can do only dish perfectly LOL)They wash clean mop etc very well, they are no more dependent. Wives are more outgoing now, they visit parlours often and want personal space. There are very few traditional families left in the cities. Villages still have this kind of setup.
@med889 (5958)
7 Jun 10
I think time have changed and husband and wife should be more open to new things in life like the working of the woman and works at home can be divided as there is no shame for man to cook, to wash the dishes and as for us we can o gardening too and work outside also.
@zralte (4186)
• India
7 Jun 10
Different people enjoy different things. And yes, times have changed. In the olden days, the position of man and woman in the family is clearly defined. There was expectations on both. Nowadays, people have got broader views and also there are lots of women who are the bread earner in the family. And most people don't really care. In my family, we help each other out. If I cook, my husband do the dishes and vice versa. I do the laundry and ironing as I don't trust my husband to do it, and well, he doesn't mind the wrinkles and he would rather go buy a new T-shirt than wash them I am alright with whatever. If people are happy being traditional, so be it.