It is the connection not the license.

United States
June 9, 2010 9:13am CST
Do you think only married couples have a Real relationship? Is it the license that makes it Real? Me, I don't. There are many couples who Never marry but are linked together closer than some married couples. And sadly there are married couples who aren't connected at all.I believe it is the connection that makes the relationship real, not a marriage or lack of one. There are many types of people out there. Many need to be married Many like me should never get married.The key is to talk to your partner and see if you two agree. If you want to marry and he/she doesn't, that's a problem.Your thoughts.
3 people like this
9 responses
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Jun 10
It is the connection that makes the relationship real, you are absolutely right. But some people also need the commitment that the license symbolizes. Or I should say it's very important to them as a symbol of the commitment.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Jun 10
I get it! First comes the connection and then because it is so deep , they Need the rings and the license.
2 people like this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Jun 10
Some people, anyway...
2 people like this
• United States
9 Jun 10
Thanks. That makes sense.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
9 Jun 10
A relationship is made in the commitment you share with another person. It will never be found on any piece of paper no matter how legal it looks. If you need a document to prove your love, what kind of future will you have? Love is in your heart, not something that is written for anyone else to see.
• United States
9 Jun 10
I couldn't agree with you more.I always chose love , not marriage.
@jugsjugs (13045)
9 Jun 10
I think you are right that there are alot of people out there that are happy just being together rather than gedtting married.Alot of people that are married are not as happy as people that are in a strong relationship.I think that it has to be two people that both want to get married where as i think sometimes people think like i do its only a bit of paper and i am married.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Jun 10
I Knew I would never marry and I finally figuredout why. I wouldn't have the connection, call it love , that everyone says marriage should be based on. Me? I rather love and not get married.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
It is true,sometimes,marriage is not the key for some relationship to succeed. I also knew couples who are not married,but are living in harmony,love and respect. And,i also know some couples who are married,but are living in misery and even end up with separation. The only difference with married and unmarried ones are,the legality and benefits for the children. Thu in my country,there is no illegitimate child as other calls. Kids from parents out of wedlock are also considered as legal ones,and received same benefits with those legal childrens. But,still,the society look at different ways about married and living in couples. I respect couples who stays unwed,they have their reasons,and it is their choice.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Jun 10
Thanks for your response. Here in the States where many ccouples divorce , it isn't hat much of a stigma that a child's parents never maried. There are many people who Choose to be single parents. So the children are being raised with just one parent. I finally understand. It doesn't matter what the outside Says your status Should be,It is up to the couple to live the way they want.
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6349)
• India
10 Jun 10
Yes!Connection otherwise called understanding should exist between couples.Then only they are said to be related in the right sense.But why should not they get married then?It is good for the social set up and for their future kids. I pity those people who are married and yet remain unconnected.
• United States
11 Jun 10
If you are really connected, why do you need the paper from the state? Why does a couple Have to marry?
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6349)
• India
11 Jun 10
In our country, India, the paper is needed for a lot of government records. As I have told already, the future kids will need this paper without fail. Why not people get married if the connection is working properly? Should they fear that a paper will be a means of mistrust between them?
@dpk262006 (56108)
• Delhi, India
10 Jun 10
Very pertinent post and great observation Sarah! You have rightly said that if the two partners are not truly connected with each other, even if they are married there is no guarantee of their happiness. Deep connection, bonding, love and affection between two partner are the essential elements to strengthen a relationship. When it is an arranged marriage, the connection does not get deeper between a couple automatically, it takes time to understand each other. Marriage is no license for real happiness, I endorse your views.
• United States
10 Jun 10
Thanks.A couple Can have a dep connection Without getting married. And sadly a couple can marry without Having that deep connection, or in the case of an arranged marriage ,it never develop!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56108)
• Delhi, India
11 Jun 10
Yeah, it is true that a couple could feel happy and connected, even if they are not married.
• China
10 Jun 10
i dont agree with your opinion,if the lovers love each other,whatever they are married or not,they will love each other forever, but i think It is not only your personal things, but also social responsibility.why the human being exist in the world,Because of the constantly reproduce,if we are not to get marry,we will have no later generations.
• United States
10 Jun 10
Many people have kids Without getting married. Just because you marry doesn't automatically mean you Have to have children. There are many happikly married people who don't have children. Some because they can't , but others because they won't. There will be many children being born . but not all to a married couple.
• United States
9 Jun 10
It's is the CONNECTION, not an 8x11 piece of paper that makes someone happy or guarantees a relationship will work. My husband and I have been together for over 15 years. We've been married about 7. We lived together for a long while before we got married. We got married when we were in Hawaii and figured why not. Did the whole beach thing - me in a bikini and a sarong and my DH in his board shorts and a tank top. Best day of my life next to the day my daughter was born. Do I regret getting married? No. Do I wish we would have stayed single? No. Do I think I would have been happy if we were never married? Absolutely! I've got 15 years with this man and I love him with every fiber of my soul and a piece of paper did NOT change that after we were legally Mr. and Mrs. Lastname - even though I didn't legally change my last name. My neighbors up the street from me in another townhome in my complex have been together almost 40 years - no marraige. They've got kids and grandchildren and even a great, great grandchild on the way. Are they happy? You bet!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jun 10
Thanks for your response! It is good to hear it doesn't matter if you get married or if you don't.It Is the connection and it is up to the couple if they get married or not.
1 person likes this
@juggerogre (1659)
• Philippines
9 Jun 10
I agree with you. Being married doesn't really mean the relationship is real. You got to really love each other and make sure that love doesn't fade no matter what.