What is the meaning of friendship to you? Have it ever changed?

@ohiocy (215)
Malaysia
June 9, 2010 9:30pm CST
I'm not sure whether this thing happens to all of you whilst growing up but I'm a bit confused and startled by the conclusion that I made. Alright, what is a friend to you? Why do you befriend someone? Before I enter my college life, I thought that friends are just somebody you like to hang out with and do things together. But right after I entered college life, I saw the fact that a lot of friendships are just fake friendships. I mean friends no longer enjoy the company of others but they are becoming friends because the friends have usage values.. It's one sad fact that I found out after seeing all the people around me have this kind of friendships and I've come to the conclusion that 'friend' is just a fake name we all hide under in order to enjoy the liberty of using him/her. Am I wrong?? Please help me on this..
1 response
• United States
12 Jun 10
I agree with much of what Rich said above. However, there are people that I would not really call associates but more acquaintances or something like that. I will see them around when I am out, and we can have a good time together and hang out. These are people that are fun to be with, but I would not really rely on them for much when we are not hanging out together. I mean, if we were together and I needed help with something at that moment, they probably would help out, but I wouldn't make plans with them to help me out with anything if it wasn't a spur of the moment type thing when we were together. The same applies to me. If I could help them out with something, especially when we were hanging out together, then I would. However, I probably wouldn't go out of my way to help them, and I definitely would not change other plans that I had just to help them. That might sound mean, but it is kind-of understood. We like each other and have fun together, but our lifestyles really do not correspond outside of certain activities that we like to do together.
@ohiocy (215)
• Malaysia
13 Jun 10
Hi there purple flower, Yeah I understand what you mean. That's why I feel like such a big loser when I hang out with my friends or rather associates (which would be a more suitable word). Because it is people like them that makes me feel like if you wanna make friends, just wear multiple masks at the same time. But that is something which I just can't do it right. I don't mean to say that I hate their guts right out (although I do, sometimes..)for being so fake but just that I can't bring myself to be true with them. And it is a very sad thing indeed to be in this world all alone :(
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jun 10
I am not sure that we are saying the same thing here, Ohiocy. I think you are talking about two-faced or phony people. They will say one thing to your face and another behind your back. Those people are not the kind of people that I want to be associated with, even if we are just hanging out together once in a while. I would feel bad if I were surrounded by a bunch of these kind of people, too. The kind of people that I am talking about are good people. They are not fake or phony, and as far as I know they don't say one thing to your face and another behind your back or wear multiple masks to hide who they really are. That is not how I am, either. People have many layers or interests, though. Some of my best friends share many of my interests but not all of them. The people that I am talking about are people that are genuine, but you just do not share a lot of interests with. Therefore, you can have fun and enjoy spending time with them while you are doing things that you all like to do together, but they really do not share many other interests with you, which is why they are acquaintances rather than friends.