Would you put your disabled child in a home if you could care for them?

@Thoroughrob (11750)
United States
November 16, 2006 4:45pm CST
If so, why?
4 people like this
23 responses
@xbrendax (2668)
• United States
16 Nov 06
Yes! I do believe in that! My sister who is in her 50's has to take care of her 6 year old autistic grandson and it is changing her for the worse! She loves him but he is killing her! He is a bad case and will only get worse, not even his own mother wants him or could handle him! My poor sister keeps thinking she can mold him into a desent human being but even the professionals said it can't happen and my sister's nerves are shot and she is looking old beyone her years! This boy can not ever love, feel love or show love and he is oblivious to all around him, except when he wants what they have, then he punches and takes it! I could NOT do it! I would have to put him in a place where they are use to autistic kids! I won't even go into what he does with his private parts! Too disgusting! YES!! I WOULD PUT HIM AWAY!!!! He doesn't care where he is at as long as he gets his needs met! When you try to show affection by a hug etc., he head butts you and makes a nasty grunt and pushes you away! Nobody even visits much because of him! I can't stand being around him! Do I feel sorry for HIM? Hell NO! I feel sorry for my poor sister who keeps on trying, for what? NOTHING!!
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
17 Nov 06
It really sounds like he is more than she can handle and able to cope with. So sad to see children you can't get through to. Just remember it is not his fault that he is the way he is.
• United States
28 Nov 06
oh my god.. your response has me almost in tears! how sad that you have all been driven to this point from this poor poor child.. i feel the need to reach out to you and help in any way that i can..I have a 9 year old son who is autistic.. and it as much as i love him from the bottom of my heart i understand how difficult it is to cope with an unresponsive "seemingly mean" child.. please know that it is not his fault! theres help available! does he have any commmunication at all? its very common for them not to yet at age 6.. im going to send you a message..
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Dec 06
I am sorry this child's autism is so severe. I do however have to say that he can feel love, he feels anger, both his own and that which is directed at him. It's like he has bad wiring in his brain, he can't equate a response that is proper to an action. But as for being placed in a facility which could attend to him better might be the best for all. No one person can attend to a severely disabled person 24/7 for the long term. Caretaker depression is very real and can become dangerous both to the disabled one and the caretaker. We all need a bit of help now and then.
@_hope_ (3906)
• Australia
17 Nov 06
yes if it meant that they would have the care they needed but i wouldn`t just leave them there either i would be there helping too
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
17 Nov 06
Thank you.
@msqtech (15226)
• United States
17 Nov 06
okay
• United States
16 Nov 06
NO I WOULD NT I HAVE A DISABLED CHILD AND HE NEEDS LOVE FORM MOM AND DAD,PUT UR SELF IN THERE SHOES ITS NOT A GOOD FELLING,
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Nov 06
Good going. You are great.!!!!!
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
16 Nov 06
I think they have enough problems and need us. Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@toonatoons (3739)
• Philippines
18 Nov 06
no, i would never put my disabled child in home and let somebody else take care of him. a child is a gift, the most precious one, no matter how he is or what he's become. i will take care of him and give him all the love he needs.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
18 Nov 06
Thank you.
1 person likes this
@pendragon (3352)
• United States
18 Nov 06
No, i would never do that.I would love any child I was blessed with and never want to be away from them.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
18 Nov 06
Thank you.
1 person likes this
@kevindb (274)
• United States
18 Nov 06
If I could care for my child, I would never put them in a home. I have two children with disabilities and I love them very much.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
18 Nov 06
Thank you.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Nov 06
That would be the greatest disservice to mankind you could ever do! How insensitive to neglect a child because it is differently abled! First of all, Disability arises due to certain faulty Code in your program called "DNA"... Everybody is unique in their own way! But yes, It's easy for me to pass comments, so If I've said anything wrong, please excuse my insolence!
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
18 Nov 06
Thank you.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Nov 06
I grew up with a girl that had O.P. and the doctors told her mom to but her in a home and forget about her. Well she didn't and I am glad. She showed me that my lfe is not as bad as I think at times. I would NEVER but a child in a home. The other kids in the house with you can help with a lot of the things the disabled child has to do, and make it fun and not so much work. That is what we did with my friend. the doctors don't always know everything. Her mom was told that she would never be anything but a burdden. She holds down a job and everthing!!! Keep the child at home and show them LOVE and support!!!!
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
18 Nov 06
I really want to. Couldn't believe they would even suggest such a thing.
1 person likes this
@msqtech (15226)
• United States
17 Nov 06
no way I would do all I could but I would want the best for them
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
18 Nov 06
Thank you.
1 person likes this
@birthlady (5613)
• United States
16 Nov 06
No, I would not put my disabled child in a home if I could care for them myself at home.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
17 Nov 06
Thank you.
• United States
16 Nov 06
My child would be at home with me no matter what. People can be rude, cruel, abusive, neglectful etc. to children with disabilities. God Bless
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
16 Nov 06
That is my thought and I thought that they should not have even suggested that to me. Just because it is taking so long to get equipment he needs.
1 person likes this
@Jshean20 (14367)
• Canada
16 Nov 06
No, I would take care of him and love him as if he were not disabled. If it was a lot of handle, I might hire someone to come in and help me out for a few hours per day though.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
16 Nov 06
Good idea.
1 person likes this
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
16 Nov 06
Never, i would always be thinking of him or her and if they are getting the right care. i love my children and would never put them any where if they becare disabled.It would be hard but things happen and its not there fault.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
16 Nov 06
I totally agree!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Nov 06
I would not put my child in a home. I would do every thing in my power to care for him. It is my job as his mother to care for him ni matter what the problem is. I don't think I could live with myself if I did put him in a home. All children no matter if they are disabled or not need they love of thier parents. Thier is no love like the love of a parent and children know that at all ages. When you become a parent you take the good with the bad.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
16 Nov 06
I totally agree with you, but that is what the government agencies suggested I do, and I cannot see it at all. I told them there was absolutely no way!!!
1 person likes this
@kittykatzz (1133)
• United States
28 Nov 06
i dont think that this is a cut and dry situation.. i think it would depend on the needs of the child and the capabilities of the parent... if there is any possible way that the child can stay at home and have his/her needs met.. i think that if the parent is capable they should not institutionalize.. however.. if the needs of the child outweigh the capabilities of the parent .. it may be the childs best hope.. and i dont think that would make the parent a "bad parent" the most important decisions we make are often the most difficult as well..
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
28 Nov 06
I just think that kids need their families. Their families know them better than any doctors.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Nov 06
i agree with you completely.. unless they are unable to meet the demands of the childs heath and wellbeing
• United States
28 Nov 06
i agree with you completely.. unless they are unable to meet the demands of the childs heath and wellbeing
@mcmomss (2601)
• United States
29 Nov 06
No, if I could care for them, I would keep them at home with me.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
29 Nov 06
I will keep mine at home as long as I can.
• Singapore
18 Nov 06
Definitely not! instead i would love her more than ever because she/he is a very special child!
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
20 Nov 06
Thank you.
@shooie (4986)
• United States
18 Nov 06
No I worked in a handicap school for disabled children for 9 weeks as one of my classes in school...They were the most loving and trusting kids I have ever met. I would never put my child in a home if he/she were disabled. They need love as any other child.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
20 Nov 06
Thank you.
• United States
17 Nov 06
Hopefully before it comes to that point, I would be able to get some outside help. Whether it be a caretaker, nurse or something. If I couldn't, then maybe...I'd hate to do that, but I do not have a lot of support.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
18 Nov 06
Thank you.
1 person likes this
@loved1 (5336)
• United States
16 Nov 06
If I could provide the quality of care the child needed and not neglect the other children, I would keep the disabled child at home. I simply don't trust many people when it comes to caring for my children, disabled or not.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
16 Nov 06
It is really hard to trust anyone anymore.