How would you tell your sister that you caught her husband cheating on her?
By joyness
@joyness (13)
Philippines
June 23, 2010 10:37pm CST
This is actually my friend's dilemma. Last night, my friend and I with some officemates had dinner at some chill out bar in Timog. We were busy chatting when my friend noticed her brother in law sitting four tables from us -- also having dinner with another girl. They were holding hands and obviously, they have some romance going on --- the way he held his hand and the way they kissed. My friend was about to confront him, but we held her back, to prevent them from making a scene. I guess her brother in law nor the girl did not notice us, even if we went out of the resto. Her sister is on second trimester with their first baby. My friend loved her sister so much and she respected her brother in law too, but not anymore after what she discovered last night.
Do you have any suggestions how she can tell her sister about it? She was worried that it might affect her sister's pregnancy if she finds out all about her husband's infidelity.
2 people like this
13 responses
@NayaAbouzaid (115)
• Egypt
25 Jun 10
In every pregnancy there are the danger times where she has to be extra cautious and the stable time so i guess she should wait until the risky part of the pregnancy is over.
1 person likes this
@karen1969 (1779)
•
24 Jun 10
I would suggest no-one says anything yet, as it is important she stays healthy in her pregnancy. Maybe once the baby is born, he will stay faithful to his wife again? If not, someone should tell her if it happens again, once the baby has been born.
@karen1969 (1779)
•
30 Jun 10
Because the baby's health should be put first. Such stress could cause early labour and put the baby in danger.
@frothyjoe (8)
• Canada
28 Jun 10
Why would you not say anything. the longer you wait the worse it will be when she finds out
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
24 Jun 10
I've seen this happen before when women were pregnant but I really believe the person who has been cheated on deserves to know the truth. If it was me I would want people to tell me. I probably would tell anyone I knew if I saw there husband kissing anyone else etc. But if it was my sister or someone VERY close to me I know for sure that I would tell them what I saw. I would feel bad having to be the one to tell them but its just what I would have to do. I would want them to know what I saw even if it hurt. I wouldnt want them finding out from another source and then finding out I knew and didnt tell them. Then they might feel even more hurt.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
2 Jul 10
I feel sorry for your friend's sister but she has to tell her already before everything got worse. Any way she will tell her, she is still going to be hurt. I dont think her brother in law ever deserve the respect she has for him. If I were her and I was in the restaurant, I am going to pour water at them. Hit them with anything I can hold on to. hahaha! Kidding aside but yeah, I dont think its good to do that. I just hope that your friend just said hi to them and made the brother in law know that she knows what he is up to.
@teito_klein (264)
• Philippines
24 Jun 10
Hi joyness!
For me, it is better to stay quiet from what she saw in the bar. Firstly, because her sister is still on her pregnancy stage so basically it will affect her labor process. Secondly, if ever the pregnant sister loose her temper she might break the boy and the baby is the one who will suffer in the future. I think the best way is to do the "telling" slowly and in the right time. I think the boy has his own conscience and he know what will be the effects of the things he has done. :)
@wannaberich (246)
•
30 Jun 10
The first thought that came into my mind is tell her at once, your sister is your own flesh and blood , even though it hurts to tell her she must know the truth. But upon learning that she is pregnant, maybe another way is to go straight to the brother-in-law. Tell him about his infidelity and ask what he would do. If he's going to leave the girl or will stop his relationship with him at once.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
24 Jun 10
I have never been able to understand why people can't mind their own business when it comes to others matrimonial matters. Sticking your nose into your friends or relatives matrimonial affairs is only going to come back to haunt you. The very last thing a person should do is to become involved, or to snitch on extra-marital two- timing, because when the $hit hits the fan, there is very little chance that you will come out smelling fresh.( You will find out the Hard Way- Its None of your Damn Business!)
@gerry101 (229)
• Philippines
24 Jun 10
I would confront the brother in law in private as soon as possible before it gets out of hand. Before he could get her pregnant. Don't let his wife know. You should not have held her back when she wanted to confront them at that time. She has every right to stop them when she saw them in the bar. Maybe the woman with him does not know that he is married and expecting a child. Don't keep silent because it could get worst. Just don't let the sister know about it yet till she had a baby.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
24 Jun 10
This would be a difficult thing to do. I would have to do this in a way that would lessen the heartbreak that was about to come. I think I would take my sister to her favorite restaurant. Afterwards, i would take her to a peaceful and tranquil place like a park or the beach. Then I would tell her as gently as I could what I knew of her husband. i would be there for her to support how this made her feel. A sister is a best friend. The softer the blow, the better.
@ersanmiguel (476)
• Philippines
24 Jun 10
you should have use your camera phone to keep an evidence...he's a jerk nd doesn't deserve respect
@Gemini68nOhio (134)
• United States
24 Jun 10
I would stay out of it, put on blinders and mind my own buisness. When you butt into other peoples' issues, rather you're ask to or not, things always have a way of making you look like a trouble maker.
@lilangelspreschool (1129)
• United States
28 Jun 10
If he could cheat on her when she is carrying that sweet little life inside of her that is his too, he WILL cheat on her again!! She needs to know! I would just tell her as gently as possible =( I know it will be hard but it will not stop if he can do this to her now when it's such a fragile time, he can do it any time! That is just TERRIBLE!
@eandm9000 (12)
• United States
25 Jun 10
I also think she should confront him. It would be easier than telling her rigt off the bat. It sucks because men are more lukely to cheat when their spouse is sick or pregnant. Either way all men cheat. But she should confront him the see how it goes.
