Feeding the neighborhood?

@loniu7 (153)
United States
June 25, 2010 7:00pm CST
It's summer and my 8 year old son likes to play with the next-door neighbor. They are two peas in a pod. They play together and i even had this boy over for a sleep over a few times. Now, the parents are nice enough, but they both don't work. I know the dad has some sort of disability and is sick. The mom stays home as well (they also have an older sister). Well, its summer time, and i make meals for my boys during the day. Usually if my son is playing with his friend, i will offer lunch. But then they munch on snacks and such. I try to tell my son, i can't afford to feed the neighborhood, but i feel bad for this kid. He will stay outside all day and not eat. Never been called in for lunch, and when he is here he eats for days. Should i say anything? or just keep my mouth shut? I am sure they are on a fixed income, they don't pay for garbage, and light fires when it is cold. They have a bunch of animals, but Rabbits, keep dying. (not sure why) they have dogs as well. Am i wrong for feeding their son?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
26 Jun 10
I started to post a very similar discussion to this one. I have been at my home for 2 months now.All of the neighborhood kids seem to live at my house.. So naturally when it was time for my son to eat I would feed all the kids.It got to the point that 2 of the kids parents would come and ask me if the kids were eating dinner at my house.I felt bad for the kids because I never seen them eat more than a hot dog or pop tart or bowl of noodles for dinner. Well, it got to the point where I didnt have anything to eat,nor my son.Did anyone offer to feed me or my child? No. I had eneded up cooking more just to be able to feed these other kids.Now I wont do it. The kids would come to my house for juice boxes instead of their own.So I am not giving it out anymore.I cant afford to feed everyone, and I am not going to let my son do without like that again. Are you wrong? No.Its kids.But just be careful.You dont wanna get in a situation like I did.I feel bad that I no longer feed the kids, but...I didnt lay down and have them and I gotta take care of mine first and foremost.I hate that the situation even occured in the first place,but...
@loniu7 (153)
• United States
26 Jun 10
Oh i agree. We do have to take care of our own first. If there is any to share, i will. Sometimes people take advantage, and it kind of sounded like your situation. At least reciprocate every now and then. But its a hard situation when you see kids, that are neglected etc. Who wouldn't want to help? But even being put in that situation to begin with is hard. I think you made the right choice.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
26 Jun 10
HYes i agree that I was taken advantge of, and it made me feel bad and guilty because it was kids.I look like the big meanie here because I wont feed any kids or give out juice boxes anymore,but I will just have to be the big meanie cause I gotta take care of mine first.
@loniu7 (153)
• United States
26 Jun 10
HA, your not the big meanie! :) Hopefully they will understand when they get older. They dont seem to invite your kids in for snacks and stuff. You are doing the right thing. I am only feeding the little boy, but never could i imagine a hole group of kids. I would never have any food :)
• United States
26 Jun 10
Noooo of course not. Your doing the right thing. If they are in need its always good to help. Also the fact that they have problems isn't your son's friend's fault, I know food is money but if theyre problems are worse then yours why not help? your doing the right thing. help them out anyway you can.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
26 Jun 10
I agree, because it is kids.As long as you have it.Dont be like me!
@loniu7 (153)
• United States
26 Jun 10
Thanks. I just hope im not over stepping boundaries and such. Its not everyday, but quite frequently, but if hes hungry and i have extra i don't mind sharing every once in awhile :)
@smartjack (521)
• India
26 Jun 10
no, you are absolutely right in feeding. It's ok to give others. God will provide you more. You will be blessed abundantly for feeding the poor. After all he is a child. Children are very innocent in the eyes of God. Feed them if they are hungry. Do good to them. Keep them happy. The Lord God will bless you and keep your family happy. There is nothing wrong in giving others. Also talk to the parents and inquire about what problems they are going through. Try and help them if possible. Never be rude to them.
@spalladino (17924)
• United States
26 Jun 10
No, I don't think you're wrong for feeding your son's friend and brightening his day. It doesn't sound like he has a very happy homelife and that his family is struggling. I raised 4 kids and each one of them had a best friend at some point who practically lived with us. One of my daughter's friends is like a second daughter to me to this day. At 29 years old she finally became pregnant and she called me before she called her own mother. Kindness comes back to you in many ways.
@loniu7 (153)
• United States
26 Jun 10
Thanks! Hes a very shy boy, and doesnt play with anyone but my son. Hes a good kid and sweet to boot, so i will keep giving him lunch when i can.:)
@Jstewart (167)
• United States
26 Jun 10
Thought I was writing that for a moment. I have that same issue. No matter where I live it seems there is a family like the one you discribed. ethier way you end up in the wrong, and I know that really is'nt an anwser. This is what happened to me. I cook out side on the grill all the time during the summer and I lived in an apartment complex. everyone started enjoying my food and the cookouts just got bigger and the kids would all play together. most pepole would bring side dishes or meat to be cooked ( I love cooking so I did'nt mind cooking). but this one family had the same thing going on the husband was disabled and he did'nt let the wife work? I don't know what the issue with that was? They had money for video games and things they wanted but there kids were like always eating ...eating ... and eating at my house. My girlfriend and I became very close with thier kids and sadly they began to resent thier parents. We would end up taking them to the doctor or school when the parents did'nt wake up in time to get the kids on the bus. the parents then began to resent us because when they argued with the kids they would say things like "I wish they were our mom and dad". there was so much drama. calling social services would have been the smartest move because once me and my girlfriend became attached to them it became so hard to pick up that phone knowing they may end up in a foster family thats just as bad. not doing anything will only teach the child himself to resent and not like those around him as he gets older probley from seeing the lack of love that was never given to him but he was able to see in those parents around him. but I am not a Doctor or anything I just know for sure It breaks your heart both ways. I am sure though that you always get kindness back for the things you do for others. and if its some lunch or snacks or a million dollars that you give to those in need your life will surley be blesed and if not at least you know you did what was right and kind. now we have a family that is like that here in our neighbor hood and the bbq's are still a hit. I really shy from attaching or saying to much. I don't mind if they eat but I don't but to much effort into making sure they do. I don't spend any time with their parents but more just listen to him complain about not finding work. and rather then be nice I say oh so and so is hiring and oh did you read in the paper. I know it's mean but the kid eats thiers no attachment and the parents don't really care for me. I am right in the middle and out of the way. however, sad news for the guys down the street though. I think those guys are in for a long expensive friendship. good luck. I hope all the best for you and your neighbors.
@loniu7 (153)
• United States
26 Jun 10
Thats what i m afraid of. I don't want the family to think im overstepping my boundaries. I was brought up to share and rude to eat in front of others. I try to teach my children to share. I dont want the family thinking they are a charity case. Egos might be hurt or that I am better than them etc. But they boy is skinny as a rail, they have him mowing the lawn, weeding, taking care of the garden, cleaning the yard, ets and the dad just yells at him all day. I know most of the time he Sneaks playing until the dad calls for him to do something, but the poor kids hungry too. I guess i will still invite him for lunch when he plays with my boys. I;m sure the parents would tell me if they had an issue.