Oh No! Brother-In-Law Taking Advantage

@neildc (17253)
Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
July 5, 2010 8:01pm CST
Not for once I have heard about people taking advantage of friendships. It happens almost anytime in our lives, in school, work, at home and community. [i]The last time I heard of this is about brothers, sisters, in-laws who spent one weekend in a new house of the elder sister. They kill time by drinking and singing and chatting. And when almost everyone were down and fell asleep in one of the rooms, the younger sister felt someone is caressing her. She thought it was his husband (who was in the other room and fell asleep too) so she murmured "honey, honey, is that you?" She heard nothing, so she slowly flip side with eyes slightly opened to see who was it. Even if she was still drunk and sleepy, she was sure it was her brother in law. He turned away and leave the room. What she cannot ponder is her BIL did it even her wife is in the same small room. She told about what happened to her husband the following day. Husband could not react to it instantly. Though he think it could happen, he cannot believe BIL would do it.[/i] [b]How could you possible react if you were the husband? Would you think it will change the feelings of husband to his wife? If you were the wife, will you have guts to tell it to your husband or even to your sister? Or you will just keep it to yourself?[/b]
7 people like this
16 responses
@rosegardens (3043)
• United States
6 Jul 10
That is just so creepy! I would tell everyone. I would hope I could be awake enough to begin shouting at him and wake up everyone in the house. That behavior is very disturbing. I wonder how many others he has done something similar to. It makes one wonder for sure.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
6 Jul 10
i think i've heard two other sisters have experienced almost the same thing with that BIL. the sisters were just silent and they don't want their oldest sister know about the misbehavior of her husband as they don't want to make more troubles. but i believe, his time will come.
• United States
6 Jul 10
That makes sense, but I would want to know if I were the one he was cheating on. Goodness, what a predicament. I hope and pray that something is resolved in this situation very soon. What a heartbreak for that poor woman he is married to.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
7 Jul 10
she is trying to do everything to make the relationship going and so as the entire family. something more bad about the BIL? he's jobless for years and his wife looks for the living and provide for the family.
• Philippines
6 Jul 10
Hello Neildc, that's nothing compare to what my friends had experience. i can say that, it's normal because people do that now a days, no matter how sad and humiliating that is.am sure the husband is taking a notice of who did it or not. am sure it can be irritating enough to find out who did it. I'd be angry but i won't tell my wife as she will get worried about it.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
6 Jul 10
the husband could be calm at this moment. but i would think that anything worse than this or if that will happen again in the future, it will be a big trouble. i think you have a good thinking. he should not show his wife that he is angry and the wife will be worried that the situation will come to worse. so what happened to your friends if this is nothing compared to her experience? would you mind to share it?
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
6 Jul 10
Maybe it was too dark for him to see who it was but once he realized who it was, he left the room in shame and embarrassment....? He probably thought it was his wife but found that it wasn't and turned around and got out of the room. It's hard to say what happened and being that they all had too much to drink, anything is possible. So would I tell my husband if it happened to me? It depends on what the circumstances were.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
6 Jul 10
you could have a point when you say it was too dark but it happened in the afternoon and it's too early to make the room so dark with a clear glass windows. remember, the house is new and they were not totally transferred residing there. it depends if you will tell your husband? but will you be telling the elder sister about it?
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
6 Jul 10
Whoa! It happened in the afternoon? Now that's cause to be very concerned! In that case, I would tell my husband about the incident so he could handle it properly. That guy KNEW it wasn't his wife because he could see well enough in the afternoon hours! He really needs to be put in his place and fast!
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
7 Jul 10
husband knows it already. he is just so calm but know how he will handle it next time so it won't happen again. maybe this husband is really just calm or he just want everything put in place slowly and properly?
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
6 Jul 10
Knowing me i would have popped him up side the head. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior i don't think.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
7 Jul 10
maybe she was just so drunk too that we was not able to kick his A out of her.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
7 Jul 10
Getting drunk like that never leads to anything good.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
6 Jul 10
even if all wer drunk it shouldnt have happened and husbad should go to BIL and knock heck out of him
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
7 Jul 10
this is really another reason why we shouldn't drink, do you agree?
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
7 Jul 10
well for sure he shouldnt . But if you do drink know your limit.
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Jul 10
neildc oh my if I were the wife first off the brother-in-law would be knocked silly then if my hubby did not say something to his own brother, I would be very upset with him. In my USA its not a habit for a brother inlaw to mess around with his sister in law at all. that is tabu.There is such a thing as carrying friendship too far in in-law relationships. shame on that husband , he should think of his wife first,then brother second. if my hubby's brother had even thought of doing something like that to me he would have been flattened by my hubby.If I was the wife I would tell both husband and sister-in-law as they must do something about this incident,.the wife is not to blame, she was the victim.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Jul 10
I would hate being in such a situation, as any party to it. If I was the girl i would like to say I would be open about it, but I know I would not and I would only face the BIL, then I would try to forget it. It happened once with a husband of my best girl friend and I told no one I just told him no, but the relationship was never the same for me.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
7 Jul 10
exactly, the relationship between the rest of family will also change.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
6 Jul 10
Hi, neildc. I would tell my husband whether he would ever believe me or not. I would not hold this in. And he had the nerve to caress his sister-in-law in the same room that his wife was in? What an idiot! Their is no need for the husband to get mad at his wife, it is not like she wanted him to fondle her at all. She thought that her brother-in-law was her husband. It is obvious that the brother-in-law feels a very strong attraction for his own sister-in-law. I hope that her husband can understand that she did not submit herself to this. And I hope that her brother-in-law is not trying to pull any slick games on her to make her look like the bad person in all of this.
@koalatbs (2230)
• United States
6 Jul 10
Another reason to NOT drink!
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
7 Jul 10
you are right.
@juggerogre (1659)
• Philippines
6 Jul 10
If I were the husband I will confront my brother. What the F did he think he's doing? Its my wife. He should be ready with an acceptable reason. Being drunk is not a valid reason for me. It wont change my feelings to my wife. In fact I will love her more for telling me the truth about it.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
7 Jul 10
husband really never changed and i also think that he loved her more than before. and actually, this is not the first time she told him about misbehavior of BIL. he's a flirt when drunk.
@saphrina (31739)
• South Africa
6 Jul 10
I won't keep it to myself sweetie. If i don't break his arms, i am sure my b/f or husband will. Whichever comes first. I cannot believe people do that to each other. I mean really, don't they have their partners. already? TATA.
• United Arab Emirates
6 Jul 10
This will definately cause a problem in relations. the first thing is the BIl should not have doen this. Sister must have not lost faith in her husband and all the relations will be broken...
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
6 Jul 10
husband is more understanding and broad minded. but BIL should not underestimate husband. he's some kind of a volcano that will erupt anytime.
@hexeduser22 (5853)
• Philippines
6 Jul 10
If I were the husband I would definitely be angry but I wouldn't show it to my wife so she wont be that worried. I would pack our things and leave the damn house. I don't want to severe the relationship of my wife and her sister so I would just make an alibi. Before we leave I will definitely talk to the BIL alone and give him a warning that he wont forget
@celticeagle (119128)
• Boise, Idaho
6 Jul 10
It should be told. If you have the type of relationship with your husband where you can't tell him such things then where are you? I was staying with my best friend in all the world when her now ex husband started staring at me through a knot hole in the bathroom door. I told her about it and she didn't believe me. Later they seperated because she found out he was abusing their daughter. Then she believed me.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
6 Jul 10
one thing that wife is hesitant to tell about it to her husband is he might get angry or might change the way he treats her. and if she will tell it to her sister, that she thinks sister will not believe her or could only result to bigger trouble.
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
12 Feb 12
I think if i am the wife i will tell to my husband for him to know what happened and not to make trouble and if i am the husband i will talk to that man for me to hear his side. Maybe he is just also unaware in what happened because if he(brother in law),she(the wife),her(sister in law) are in the same room there are possibility that her brother in law though that she is her wife. Maybe he is so drunk to notice it.
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
9 Jul 10
Tough.... Anyway to answer your question, if I am the husband I will be very mad and confront my BIL and maybe punch him for doing it.... If the husband truly love his wife, he will never make this as a reason to change his feelings towards his wife but instead, protect the wife and support her in this traumatic situation. Now, if I am the wife, I will definitely tell my husband what happened and will confront my BIL, maybe it was not also his intention whatsoever, after talking to the BIL, I will assess if it's better to keep it within ourselves or to let the BIL's wife know about the situation.