Black Sheep - Do they still change?
By Unah08
@Unah08 (671)
Philippines
July 12, 2010 2:57am CST
"Black Sheep" by definition is a family member who disrupts the harmony of the family. They the black sheep always have a way or seem to do something to embarrass the clan. And they're the ones who make our parent's life miserable at times. Most often than not, the parental keep a strict eye on them cause most parent or family members don't want them to ruin their life, or they don't want the messy life of this so-called black sheep disrupt the lives of the other members of the family and hoping that they do not abuse and drain the family physically, emotionally and financially.
So by that definition, do you encounter such personality in your own family? They say that in every family there will always be a black sheep? Is this true? Do you think this black sheep can still change their bad behavior.
In our family, we do have a member who is considered a black sheep, and that is my 2nd eldest brother. He got worst during his college days wherein he was involve in many gang activities. He would spend his tuition on their gimmicks and would treat her friends in a nonsense activity. He would not attend school just to be with his friends and kept this from my parents. Until such time he was caught, he was reprimanded badly for his ill-behavior, but he just got worst the most. Until he got his girlfriend pregnant. And this hurts my parents big time. But since we love our brother despite what his doing in his life, we supported him. My parents didn't gave up on him.
And now, he's already changed man. He's working now in Japan and providing for his family. and helping us as well financially. I'm so happy seeing him the way he is now and very thankful that God really answered our prayers. :)
How about your story. I'm delighted to hear it.
Do black sheep change color and become a white one. I'll wait for your response.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@edwardjoy2000 (2387)
• United Arab Emirates
12 Jul 10
There are less chances that a black sheep in the family will change. I have known some people who have strong back up from the family. this person was with the bad company. He had the history of beating people when he was drunk. his family supported him by helping him to elope to another state. They will not change as they will have a back up from the family. if the family goes out of the way to punish him them only he will realise that what he is doing is wrong.
1 person likes this
@Unah08 (671)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I think you have a point there. Changing a black sheep's behavior do not require the help of his/her family alone, environment plays an important role as well. And the will to change must come from the person his/herself in order to really elope from one's state or behavior.
Like what happened to my brother, when he changed the environment he is in, that was the start of change to come into him. He accepted that what he have done in the past was wrong...
@vulgarlittleprincess (919)
• Canada
13 Jul 10
I am the black sheep in my family. I know that my parents are not worried about me embarassing them, or about making them miserable. I am the black sheep simply because I have a different personality and often butt heads with the rest of my family. I am also the middle child and feel that this has impacted my "black sheepness." I have an older brother, who got to do what he wanted because he was a boy. I have a younger sister who, because I got through life's hurdles, got to do the more than I was allowed. She is 3 years younger than me and at one point we had the same curfew. I was 17, she was 14. We both had to be home at 10:30. I rebelled because I was treated like a baby. when I was 15 I had to be home by 8:30, my curfew was set at that time when it started getting dark, but my brothers curfew was never changed. Because he was a boy (mother stated this). I rebelled alot when I was a teen. I also suffer from ocd which can cause rage.
I get along with my parents better now, we still butt heads from time to time but I am not near as rebelious nor do I have the attitude that I had when I was a teen.
but I will state I was never an embarassment to my family and they never worried about me ruining mylife or theirs. I was just different from anyone else.
@Unah08 (671)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
Hi, wow I admire you because of your admission. I assumed you know yourself very well and confident enough to address such behavior, well in a different kind of way that is. Maybe your attitude was the milder type since you didn't embarrass your family in any way by making stupid and bad stuff/s and they don't need to worry that much about you.
Your still lucky though cause in your place you have a very liberal way of living. Here in our place especially when one is located in the province like I do, curfew doesn't apply. So after school we have to go straight home and do chores and school work and go straight to bed. And when we rebel against our parents definitely we'll really pay for it big time. Punishment here is sometimes not tolerable, painful most often than not. And because of this we're afraid to become rebellious.
Those who have the guts and are stubborn are the one's who successfully transform into a black sheep.
@vulgarlittleprincess (919)
• Canada
13 Jul 10
Ah, yeah I am canadian, so we get it pretty lenient. I was grounded alot for my attitude, but for the most part it was ok. I was never beaten or anything. Perhaps cultural differences would give a different definaition to "embarassing" ones family. I would talk back to my parents out in public, but I would never do something like steal the car.
@craftyhomebody (443)
• United States
13 Jul 10
i loved your story and i am so happy for your
family i am the black sheep of my family and it
took me moving out of state from my family to
feel they could show there face in church again.
you see i was 16 and i was going to have a baby
out of wed lock and in the state of utah that is
not allowed so i moved a way i have now lived in
texas 29 years and i have a very good business and
i raised my boys to be good men. the one little
sister take kept rubbing it in my face she finally
had to eat her words because 2 of her girl had baby's
out of wed lock.
@Unah08 (671)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
Same here, I love your story as well. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad to have read yet another story about a successful battle against having a black wool.
But reading your story makes me sad too, cause you have leave your family because of what happened to you then, I mean sacrificing something that big is hard to do especially at a tender age. I salute your courage and the love you have for your family.
I guess my brother is still lucky cause despite everything he does way back he's black sheep days, we're still there to support him and he doesn't consider the option of leaving our home.
About your little sister, I guess bad KARMA does his job well on her. If I we're in her shoes I'd support you in your condition then, I'll not tolerate what you did, but as a sister I would still accept you and love you despite everything. :)
Thanks again and have a nice day. Regards to your boys... :)
@Wabuge (45)
• Kenya
12 Jul 10
HI THERE,
Its true that "Black Sheep" do change at one point of their life's either sooner or later the earlier the better. but not all of them do change for the better only a few do change for good due to the lessons they have learnt in life or under the influence of a guardian.
Speaking from experience; i once had a sister who was so stubborn. she was rude to our parents and even to some of her friends without any mercy. she was the type that was a friend at one point and serves as your enemy at another point. she was always coming home late at night and picked up fights with our dad or mom.
Later on in life she dint even finish college and ran away from home and got married to a stranger. she was blessed with a baby girl and her husband left her all alone homeless and she had to change her ways because now she had had a mouth to feed. now she is so humble and only concentrates in raising up her 2 year old daughter and am happy for her.
All in all, its the experiences of life that changes us my friend.
Cheers!
@Unah08 (671)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
So we do have the same experience. I'm happy your sister changed her ways as well.
Life do change us at some point. And the experiences we have had is always our best teacher. And it is up to us if we follow and apply those teachings to change our ways in order to develop ourselves and the way we live our life.
@Clickenecash (285)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I'm glad that your brother has finally found the right path. I think it really is possible judging from your experience. Actually, we have no black sheep in our family so I can't really relate. However, I really think this is possible all that is needed is a little motivation.
@Unah08 (671)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
Good thing you don't have black sheep in your family. It is really hard living with them especially when you see your parents crying or is worried almost all the time because one of your siblings or any family member is not doing any good.
Yes, I agree that change is possible in taming the "black sheep", however, I think a little motivation is quite not enough to drive them to the good side especially when dealing with someone who's so stubborn and somewhat like a rebel. Sometime you just have to implement an iron fist to let them come by and make them realize that their ways are leading to the dangerous path.
@Clickenecash (285)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
Well, I guess I was wrong in saying 'little'. I guess sometimes they need more than a little push, maybe a big one. But one problem when you use that iron fist thing is that it may return to hunt you. It might be too much of something in a little time to your 'black sheep' and he/she may end up much more rebellious than before. Just my two cents though.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Jul 10
Unah08 No I am very happy to say that in my small family growing up we did not have a black sheep at all, and because I was raised by parents who
were very strict and taught me right from wrong I imparted these same
values to my own children. So I am very proud to say my own famly has
no black sheep in it either. I am very happy for you that your own
brother learned from his errors and has become a changed man . It is always good to hear that some black sheep can be changed.
@Unah08 (671)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I'm glad to hear that you don't have black sheep in your family. Your parents must have done a great job raising you and your siblings. But I'm not saying that black sheep are the fault of parents.
But in some family strict parenting often produces "black sheep" cause the children tend to rebel against their parents. It is nice to know that you're not one of them. Keep it up and godbless. :)
@masmelgar (98)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
We have the same black sheep!!! Same story also. And yes, they do change. This brother was like that too. Always with his gang of friends. Always out at night up to the wee hours of the morning. It's almost amazing how he graduated high school and college! But always a headache at home. And now, he is earning more than any of us. He is helping a lot, financially, too! We just have to look out for them in their renegade years. And hope nothing bad happens to them.
