How many of you are using still don't technic?

Germany
July 14, 2010 2:41pm CST
Don't run in house. Don't go out. Don't spill the milk. We use to speak with our children in this manner. But this is not a positive method. if we say don#t run the child doesn't know what to do next. We should train us to say walk in house instead of don't run in house. Now your experience and openion please.
5 responses
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
this is a good thing... refraining from saying "don't"... however, i also use it sometimes especially when she does things which might hurt her. "Don't touch that" or "Don't go there" are some of the lines.. and then an explanation follows, always. because you are right, children will get confused if you say "don't" and they don't know what else to do if they won't do it. but i do agree, telling them what to do instead is good.
• Germany
16 Jul 10
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• Philippines
16 Jul 10
yes i have a four-year-old daughter and we (my husband and i) don't usually command her around. in fact, she gets to explain herself too. although she does have some limitations.
14 Jul 10
I think you are right. Just commanding your child to not do something is not very positive or productive. I often find that if I say 'please do not run in the house' I get a better response than if I am raising my voice or sounding overly authoritarian. As a parent you have ot understand that children are a product of their environment and they will only learn how to speak, act, and behave by following the example of their parents and older siblings. I like your idea of giving children an alternative as to what they should be doing rather than what they shouldn't be doing.
• Germany
14 Jul 10
I am sorry. You have a bit misunderstood me. Whether polite or roude manner is not the point here. The word "DON'T" is being concerned here. If we say don't the children have no idea of what to do. happy myloting.
15 Jul 10
No I have not misunderstood you I know what you are getting at. I was just trying to say that you also get a better response if you are polite with your children rather than being commanding too.
@dfhonline (130)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Thinking about it, you seem right. The more I used "don't" the more she does it. I always say she's not listening, but it didnt cross my mind that maybe she gets confuse when I tell her not to do certain things.
• Germany
15 Jul 10
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@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Aug 10
When my daughter was little I did use a lot of the don't technique in our home. However, I found that it didn't really work so as my son was starting to get to the age where he was able to talk to, I decided to use a more positive manner of parenting with him. In doing this with him, I find that he behaves better than his sister did at the same age. In addition to that, I also think that he is able to discuss things on a more rational basis than Kathryn was able to do when she was the same age.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
I guess it is a matter of explanation after saying "dont" Sometimes i still used that word "don't",then later tell the child why i said it. Kids are easy to train when we explained them what will ever happen if they don't care of themselves. Like,don't open the door when someone knocks and you never knew the person. Giving child instruction clearly will make them follow what we want them to do. Have a good day always