Buying the bride

Philippines
July 25, 2010 12:12am CST
There are certain cultures in the world wherein if a man would like to marry and get a bride, he has to be ready with a sort of trade in. A certain amount is required or livestock, jewelries, etc. A certain tribe in Africa uses cows for bargaining. The would be groom and his clan would talk talk to family and village elders of the bride to ask permission. After that, a sort of bidding is scheduled. It will determine how many cows the groom would barter to win his bride. Do you know of other tribes who do this?
1 person likes this
10 responses
• India
25 Jul 10
hahahaha... it happens all over the world. .. sometimes they buy the bride, sometimes, they buy the groom. the names of the transaction might differ. THEY might call it 'start-up funds' .. OR they might just take away the funds/livestock, or whatever, to the parents' ... we call it DOWRY here in INDIA.. where the bride's parents need to pay a certain amount, along with GOLD, etc.. to the groom's parents. but, some 60-80 years before, it used to be the other way round... and, it was called bride-tax .. where the GIRL was PURCHASED from her father, .. and, there used to be too many child-marriages in those days. .. All said and done, .. marriage is another spoke, in the wheel of economics of the culture. thanks.
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
GOT IT. That is what Im thinking about, the word is dowry. I never knew that in India, the bride will shoulder the dowry. I think I got to marry there. regards
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
@ water, Good idea,you can marry an Indian bride for the dowry. Unfortunately,you need to be good man with some wealth too to hooked a well to do bride
• India
26 Jul 10
WELL, water,... I wish you all the best. ... and, dear Jaiho... if some groom is from a 'phoren' .. foreign country, I think, our fathers' of the brides .. will fall, and offer more dowry... after all, GREEN CARD is truly a green-card for marriage! .. is it not so?
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Jul 10
watarikenji I am in the US and we do not have any type of trade in such as you describe. Some may ask the parents for permission to marry their daughter but its just being polite. No money nor goods exchange hands. Here some people will pay a lot of money on the wedding but there is no dowry nor bride price here. Others of us had very simple weddings.Most of us leave home in order to start a new family of ou r own here,we do not as a rule stay with our parents unless we are having a streak of bad luck. I am sort of glad we have no dowrys nor bride prices here. Just a matter of getting a marriage license and getting married.
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• Philippines
27 Jul 10
hi friend. Same here in our country. Feelings prevail not fortune. In the name of love.
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@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Jul 10
hi Watarikenji good deal feelings are best, we marry in the name of love and with myhubby and I we were married 33 years. it was a great marriage, and I miss him each day.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
This tradition is common in some Asian countries. It could be the bride who gives dowry or the groom to give the money or in any kind. Here in my country,it is not a common practice. With a small community of Muslims,it is a common tradition(i said small community,becoz,not all Muslims are practicing that tradition now a days) Some cultures and traditions are now diminishing due to the young generation who doesn't want to adopt such tradition. Common tradition here in my country ages ago is not dowry,but "Serving". The groom should serve the bride to be by fetching water everyday (olden days,well is the common source of water) Plow the fields and plants rice or any vegetation which is in season. The "serving" takes months to year or years depending on the girl's decision. That is in same level with dowry matters.
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• Philippines
27 Jul 10
hi friend, servign is a very lovely custom. regards
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
This is true, it is practiced all over the world, in several different forms of course. In the western world I think they call it an "engagement ring" :P
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• Philippines
27 Jul 10
nice insight kabayan
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
25 Jul 10
It is also the custom in most of Indonesia. The groom-to-be have to buy the girl all her needs from head to toe, some jewelries, and to give some money. In some part of Sulawesi Island, the groom-to-be have to give the girl's family some livestock like buffaloes.
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• Philippines
27 Jul 10
so true In rural areas, livestocks are the dowry regards
@grayxenon (1307)
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
I've heard there are a lot of order brides in the net..
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• Philippines
27 Jul 10
mail order bride is a huge industry. it is people trafficking regards
@ptower76 (1619)
• United States
25 Jul 10
Since marriage in most countries around the world is literally a business contract, it stands to reason that investing in a bride is logical. The way it is done may differ from culture to culture but nonetheless, a contract requires consideration for both parties. If an individual can afford 20 cows for example, he will probably make a good provider. On the other hand if the bride has the skills and atributes to contribute to the marriage, she is well worth the 20 cows.
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• Philippines
25 Jul 10
They said that the more beautiful the girl is, the more cows her beauty could fetch.
@quangnhu (31)
• Vietnam
25 Jul 10
In my country, this really happen. Somes of compatriots of various ethnic origins have custom make a love market. Boy and girl go to the market, make friend, and love. At midnight, the girl and her friend go to the boy, and perform custom of taking groom. It's matriarchy. The woman is support in a family.
• India
25 Jul 10
well, friend, you seem to have understood the social custom.. thanks for your intelligence. WELCOME to mylot. your participation in mylot helps you, and us too.
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
its a wonderful world
• Vietnam
28 Jul 10
Uhm..It's wonderful, and not wonderful...The man will feel wretched and run away if he don't love that bride...Because it's matriarchy, you knew...But that custom only have in minority compatriots. And the voice of woman is number one. They have the right of decision all of things.
@ron2dmax (48)
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
well, this kind of tradition was totally practiced all over the world, its kinda an old practice around B.C. something until 1990 begun to change ways into modernized way. not just few cultures in different countries do that kind of thing but also countries which we consider rich countries and other developing countries practiced the modernized one, that is, if one family belongs to a prestigious name concerning the fame and wealth it could bring. two close families who are concern of their wealth, pride, dignity, and social status, even their children are still young, parents of both sides agreed their children to get married in the future without their children's accord. lucky if the girl and guy would learn to love each other in real so there would be no problem, otherwise, neither a girl nor guy can do something to stop their parents agreement. so this modernize practice is similar as the barter method.
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
hi friend it has similarities. regards
• China
23 Aug 10
I think these terrible things may be happened in many countries, secretly. Put the women as a commodity to do the trading, for this some women are forced on the poor families, some women are abducted, all of them are victims.