how come we can't leave the ones who don't love us?
By redphile
@redphile (2264)
Philippines
July 28, 2010 9:01pm CST
love, love, love. sometimes there are couples who cannot maintain their relationship at the same or on a higher level. One gives up after how many years of being together, but the other has the tendency to fight for the love they had before and never give up. People go crazy for love when the one they love doesn't love them anymore. WHY?????
1 person likes this
6 responses
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
29 Jul 10
Love has the ability to make us all forget about ourselves, become selfless for the ones we love and it even gives us the ability to endure everything for the sakes of the ones we love.
It is true that no matter how difficult at times things between the two of you, there's no way one of you will give up so easily. I have been in a topsy turvy relationship and though I had expressed my intention of leaving the relationship, I'm still here to stay. Why? It is because my husband isn't giving up on us yet.Might be because he still loves me or it is because of the children. One way or another, it is not easy for us to go on separate lives especially because we've fought against all odds to come this far and stay this long with each other. We have the kind of love that was too good to be wasted. Maybe, that's his reasons. For me, I still keep on lagging with him because for the love of my kids and maybe deep inside me for the love of him still...
@redphile (2264)
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
I agree that sometimes when we love we tend to forget who we are before and focus on who we have become after we have been with the ones we love. We forget everything just to be able to please our other half, even though we dont know if what we're doing is worth it for that person. Its so difficult to go through problems pertaining to love, I personally, was not able to let go easily of my previous partners, especially the feelings and it also depend on how long the relationship lasted.
In your case, maybe there is still love not just for the husband but also great love for your kids, that you dont want to hurt them and them to be affected with whatever problems you and your partner might be having now. I hope soon you will realize what is the best thing to do for the sake of your kids and the whole family.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
I've got to do what all good mothers got to do. To stay with my kids despite of the pain and difficulties I am facing with my husband. Their life is more important than mine and their happiness is far greater than my own. This is something that I deem the right thing to do for now until such time I am confident they can live on their own without so much help from me...
@redphile (2264)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
True, but unconditional love occurs maybe only on a motherly love, and of course our Lord God above. I guess we always have conditions, because the intention of wanting that our love be reciprocated is condition enough to say that we want something in return of that love. But yeah it happens that we love someone who does not love us, but only for a certain period of time. It will fade away eventually, its only a matter of time.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
29 Jul 10
We have no control over who we will choose to love. We also can't control how other people will feel about us. Sometimes it is hard to accept rejection or unrequited love. We hang on to false hope because of the love we feel. We still want someone who doesn't want us because we always think that something will change. 
@unique16 (1531)
• United States
17 Aug 10
Hello,
this is a very good thought provoking question. I am still delaing with this question knowing what my ex-boyfriend did. he stills trips up my brain. Some of it conditioning or repetition and some of it hard to adapt to knew a person or situation. For some of who been in relationship with same person for over 10 years those are many years being together and adapting to that person way of life. Some of are really shy or it not easy for them to be on there own because they didi not realize they were co-dependent on that person for there life.
Or others think they can change or change that other person to be better.
Thanks and have a great day
Sincerley unique16
@redphile (2264)
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
Those are really many years and for me its history and that people that stay longer than that should really stay together. Its really difficult to accept that we have lost the ones we love but its a fact and we have to face it sooner or later, and we should not let it get to us, or be down for what its worth we are still good persons and we will still be able to find people who we love us and we will love no matter what.
@lindaharding627 (1442)
• United States
29 Jul 10
I was one of those people that don't want to give up on the relationship. My boyfriend and I were together three years and I loved him with all my heart. He could not accept me for who I was. He wanted me to lose weight, dye my hair, dress a certain way and was obsessive compulsive about a lot of things. My self-esteem really went down and I thought he was the best I could do and if I stayed with him things would go back to how they were in the beginning. He treated me like a queen at first. I told him that if he chose to break up I wouldn't be waiting for him and I didn't. My hubby and I were together for 8 months then got married. He also had been in a bad relationship and we both had to work on our self- esteem. Hubby and I definitely have a relationship that would be worth fighting for but neither of us believes in divorce so that won't be an issue for us.
@redphile (2264)
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
Its just so sad that your partner would want to change everything about you, when he should have loved you for who and what you were before, even before you met. How come? Why does he want you to change? I dont understand. Its sad that your self esteem went down, but its good that you have found the love of your life that you will stay with forever. I hope it all goes well with you and your partner.
