I want my husband to have an affair with another woman

Philippines
August 2, 2010 3:42am CST
Yes, you've read it right. Crazy, isn't it? When other wives are complaining about their husbands having an affair with other women, here I am wanting my husband to try to have an affair with another woman. Weird?... yes, I think I am. No, my husband is not gay. He is just a perfect husband. We have been married for 23 years and never did we have a serious fight over anything. He doesn't give me any reasons to get angry because he loves me so much and he has been a very good, responsible and loving husband. However, living with a perfect husband for 23 years is becoming boring. There is nothing to spice up the relationship. I also want to experience how it feels to be jealous... How it feels to be challenged when there is another woman in your husband's life...How it feels when you kiss and hug after a big fight...how it feels to be angry...how it feels to cry and be hurt...how it feels to hurl at your husband with angry, hateful words...how it feels to kick your husband in the a**... and I need a reason for me to do that. These thoughts just came into my mind. Maybe I just want to know how I will feel and react once I learn that my husband is having an affair with another woman.
13 people like this
53 responses
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
oh, dear.... oh, dear.... This is the weirdest post and wish I have seen for years....You are inviting trouble to your peaceful home ,dear. Do not temp fate... You will not enjoy the feeling and things will never be the same again between you and your husband. What if he enjoys the other woman's company and left you for her? What if he'd not hug you anymore, nor kiss you anymore, nor talk to you anymore, but to the other woman? What if he spends the holidays with her instead than with you? What if he forgets all about you and cares so much about the other girl? What if, he doesn't want an argument with you? No chance for you to get hug and kiss after a fight? What if you'll cry and feel pained the rest of your life because you realized it is him that you wanted and not the thrill? What if you'll be angry with yourself and not him because of such "foolish" idea? Jesus! Why do you want to complicate things that you'll regret later? Is it his fault that he loves you so much and wanted to be the worthy husband for you? Is that what you really want? Then, if so, you tell him and push him to the next woman who'd be lucky to replace you... God bless...
3 people like this
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
I know...I know... LOL. This was just probably one of my crazy moments. I may not be serious about this but sometimes I do think about it. But when I read your comments, fear suddenly encompassed me. I shivered about all the "what ifs". Yeah true enough. Thanks for waking me up.
2 people like this
@jennyze (7052)
• Indonesia
3 Aug 10
Vikkitita, I am happy that you reconsider your thought. Just like eurekafemme wrote here: Don't temp fate. Nothing goo will come out of it.
2 people like this
• Philippines
9 Aug 10
Note to all readers: For better understanding, read my answers to comments #40 and #46. Thanks to all who commented on this post.
@ehsanji (492)
• Pakistan
2 Aug 10
I don't want to sound offensive but I think you have started this discussion just to get some people replying to your discussion as much as possible because no woman in the world will like her husband being taken by other women. Naturally it is impossible for a woman to accept that. But I can see you're getting too many replies think you were successful:)
2 people like this
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
2 Aug 10
If that is her reason for starting this discussion then she will be sorely disappointed because she is not responding back on any of it so she won't be earning anything from it even if 100 people respond. We'll all earn from responding but she won't.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
You are wrong there sid556. I do am responding and trying to respond to all of your comments. And I do appreciate all of your thoughts and advices. I may not be in the computer all the time but I am trying to find the time to answer all of the comments here.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
And I did not start this discussion for earnings sake. I joined MyLot not because I wanted to earn. I just love writing and sharing and expressing my views. So even if I don't get a single cent here, never will I get disappointed. Sorry to disappoint you too.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7836)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
This is quite different than the usual posts that I have read within this kind of category. To stir something as that which could ruin an already well established relationship in a marriage. Before ever considering such things, one would often try to place themselves in such position. In this case, why not try to imagine how your loving husband would feel if he found out that you were having an affair with another man? If this is ever just something whimsical, it might help if the beginning of such thoughts would run along with "What if..."
2 people like this
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
"What if my husband has an affair with another woman. What will I feel?" That's more likely what I wanted to express. I just wanted to feel how it feels to be jealous and angry. I want to feel how many other women feels out there. But come to think of it, if those wishes would mean losing my husband in the end, I'd rather not. Thanks.
2 people like this
@ratyz5 (7836)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Yes, I understand that curiosity about things that we don't fully understand or can only understand when we ourselves are placed into such a situation. I think, for most women, be it in an unstable relationship or one which is still going through their respective adjustments, they would consider your situation to be that perfect picture. Even lines and shades, not over-lapping the margin or going through the frame, tones or colors not over powering another. Then again, that's why we seldom try to listen to those who have already experienced such situations, wherein they themselves know the details of relationships that went sour. They know how it can begin and how one can prevent it. They would also know the expected outcome and emotions which the participants would have through such an ordeal. Listening to those, if imagination for such things happening isn't enough to quench our curiosity, should at least be a guide for those who seem to be threading the same journey.
@AutumnGold (1062)
2 Aug 10
Hello Vikikita. So you want your husband to turn into a two timing cheat who you can't trust? I think you should be grateful for having a husband who's been so good to you for all these years instead of calling him boring. Maybe you should make an effort to spice up your relationship, inject some excitement and make things less boring. It takes two to make a marriage work, it sounds to me like your husband does his bit so it's time you did yours instead of acting like a silly immature little girl who doesn't know how lucky she is!
2 people like this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
I cannot agree with you less when you said that it takes two to make a marriage work. He may not be that very perfect. There may be petty irritants and imperfections too along the early years of our marriage, but because I did my share as a wife too to understand him, fights were pretty much avoided.
1 person likes this
2 Aug 10
Lol the second weird thread I'm reading today. I think I kind of understand where you're coming from but it seems you are bored of your husband. How do you think you would feel if he cheated on you? Happy? Sad? It's a bit unfair to think like that for him though since he loves you very much and has done everything for you. Either find some ways to spice up the relationship or risk being bored all your life. This is how I know humans are never happy no matter what they are given. A wants what B has. B wants what A has...:( Hope things turn out better for you :)
2 people like this
@thesids (22524)
• Bhubaneswar, India
2 Aug 10
Oh dear.... Is that what is gonna happen to me too? I am scared! I love my wife and she too loves me. We have been married for just over 4 years as of now and we never had a quarrel or any fight. She is much more than I could have ever asked for in my wife. Reading your post I feel that we should have a quarrel some time or the other and then patch up things just for the sake of it. I would not want my wife to have another affair or me having another affair outside us. But for you... I dont understand why you plan to make your so plain and happy life a miserable one! give it a thought! 23 years is a long time and it is definite that you would be having kids. If things start happening your way - your husband starts an extra marital affair, chances are that you would land up in a mess which may be ok with you but what abt the poor kids? Hope you get the point. May Lord show you the right way!
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
3 Aug 10
Why on earth would you want to experience such negative emotions? You are so lucky to have a lovely husband who treats you as you deserve! I can guarantee that if your husband cheated on you the experience would be very painful for you and you would regret wishing for such an experience. Women have had their self esteem robbed by betraying husbands. Being cheated on is not the same as feeling a little jealous, believe me! If was you I would thank God every day for the wonderful man you have and stop wishing disasters upon yourself, you will regret it, take it from someone who has been there and still has the scars to prove it!
1 person likes this
@meirhu (367)
• Israel
3 Aug 10
You'd be VERY surprised my dear Paula. Why are you so sure that she will have NEGATIVE emotions. It might even turn her ON !! Maybe she would even like to watch !
2 people like this
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
The scenario is different here. My husband will never cheat on me without me knowing it, and that's for sure. He tells me about all the women he got attracted with and "almost" went to bed with. And surprisingly, I do not feel any negative emotions or any "green monster" at all. Maybe I am just so secured about his love for me and our relationship that I don't feel threatened at all. I know him well enough to confidently say that he wouldn't betray me. He will never get into any serious affair. I suggest you also read my comment on response #40 and #46 so you can better understand what I mean. Thanks.
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
2 Aug 10
Be very careful what you wish for Vikkitita. It could and probably backfire on you and ruin your perfect marriage. I don't and never will understand women who want the bad guy for the thrill of it. I was married to one of them and trust me on this....it's not all that fun at all. It hurts a lot. Can't you think of other ways to spice up your marriage besides breaking your vows and putting the relationship you've spent 23 years on at risk? I could think of a zillion other ways to stay close and keep my marriage alive and many of them are wishing we didn't have to deal with the very things you are wishing for in your marriage. What you want won't add spice to your marriage at all. It will possibly destroy it. maybe more women should experience the darker more painful side of marriage and go thru an ugly divorce or two so that men like your husband will be appreciated and loved for the kind, loving and considerate men that they are. I hope you think 1000 times before you do anything to make your dream come true.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
There is a saying that when you're in heaven, you want to feel what it is being in hell and when you're in hell, you want to feel what it feels to be in heaven. So maybe that's what I am experiencing right now. But come to think of it... with all of you telling me what hell feels like, maybe I do not have to actually go to hell to feel it. With all your descriptions of hell, I am already feeling it right now at this very moment. Thanks for all your responses. It mean a lot to me. I won't, after all, trade off my husband for anybody else just to satisfy my selfish whim of just being able to experience what hell feels like. Sorry by the way for the late response.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31031)
• United States
3 Aug 10
Phew! Glad to hear that! I'm pretty sure it would have been something you would have regretted and it would definitly change up your marriage. Men like your husband are hard to come by. All relationships get a little boring at times. Get creative and I'm sure you can come up with a way to spice things up. I'm glad everyone here was able to convince you to change your mind on this one!
@rhodzptc (1319)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
In some reason I would agree to you but my point of view is this what if the problem with the affair is not being fixed and then it end up into separation I supposed you won't let that happen do you or have ever considered already this possibility?
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
You are the first person to agree with me here. Yes, come to think of it. Maybe I was just to confident that even if my husband tries to go out dating other women, he still would not leave me. But with all the advices I read, I can no longer be sure of that. Then "what if he does?" I tried to imagine the "what if he does" scenarios. I can't bear it. It's indeed torturing just to think of it. Thanks.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
***corrections "too confident"...
1 person likes this
@chookie1971 (2278)
• Australia
2 Aug 10
I can tell you that jealousy is a very bad curse. I am talking from experience. There are many different ways to spice up your life without putting yourself in that experience. A bit of romance. Or even try to explore beyond your boundries. Try something new that you think that you both will enjoy just a bit beyound your comfort zones. There are many avenues. If you don't know which way to turn, then try going to an Adult shop for some ideas.
1 person likes this
@elvieb02 (696)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
i agree with you, she just need to spice up their romance, maybe a little role-playing will do... you can shop online if you are shy to try adult shop.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 10
go on a trip! pack your bags and go.be spontaneous.the dream you always had, do that.i think you're just looking for some excitement.so go do it! :) and take your husband with :)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
LOL. You are crazy!!! If you want to spice up your life in this way. Make a first move. Don't wait your husband in having affair, you look for someone you can have your affair. I guaranttee, you will have your fight. The jealous, the angry, the exchanging words etc etc. But if I were you, I will not wish for this. Why? Because we do not know where your wish will lead to. It may end to broken relationship or strong relationship. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
It's me who wanted to feel jealous, not him. It's me who wants to feel angry, not him. I want to feel that emotions so I can relate too to other women out there. I am like the princess in the old children's story "The Princess who wants to cry". But you're right, maybe I can find another way how to do that. Thanks.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Hey! Wait! I suggest you do the first move because you want to spice up your relationship but take note I don't agree on your idea. And if you push this thru make it sure you are ready for the result. Because we do not know how this will end. It may end to a broken relationship or strong relationship.
1 person likes this
@salonga (23684)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Well if you truly love your husband you will never feel bored with the relationship. In fact smooth relationship is a reason to enjoy it even more. Not all marriages are smooth and money are undergoing turbulent situations that could wreck their marriages in any given time. Be careful with what you wish and desire for you might just regret that. Excuse me but I found it really weird for a wife to wish her husband to commit infidelity. Marriage should be kept honorable and undefiled and God never in anyway condone elicit affairs. Now if you have fear of God then you should never wish your husband to commit the sin of adultery in whatever circumstances. Imagine just to satisfy your longing to feel some excitement you are not afraid to ruin the sacredness of matrimony. Tsk!Tsk!Tsk! Do you know what would be the consequences of that?
1 person likes this
@salonga (23684)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Not all marriages are smooth and many are undergoing turbulent situations that could wreck their marriages in any given time.
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
We are both crazy in this crazy thing we want to happen into our husband. I am also thinking the same as you because I am always did wrong and he forgive me with unreasonable doubt. We are married for 19 years and he stay love me forever as he is always said to me. You know i want a challenge in my life to add spices also and to feel a little bit thrill. For me i always want a lively lovelife and it is craziness to most women. How exciting when it happen but expect the pain! Well this is life we wanted to us...Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
At least I have one here who has expressed that she also thinks the same way as I do. At least I know I am not unique and alone in this kind of feeling. I know there are other wives out there who feels the same. They are probably just not as open as I am to express their feelings. These are just crazy thoughts anyway. Don't be afraid to express it. Welcome to the club mods196621...haha.
@ybong007 (6660)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
careful what you wish for you might just get it all... as the line of the song goes. Me and my wife have been together for more that a decade and i think i'm the same as your husband. I admit that i get attracted to other women but getting attracted and pursuing that women is another matter. There is nothing that could prevent me from malingering except my family and the one that scares me from doing so is when i do it and realize that i can get away with it. In my country men can get away with having mistresses easily. We always consider our neighbors lawn more green when in fact it's not. Just consider yourself more lucky than the others. A lot of women would exchange places with you if given the chance.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Yes ybong007. You and my husband is very, very similar. He also admits to me that he gets attracted and flirts with other women too to a point of almost going to bed with them. And for the same reason, what stops him from doing so is when he does it and realize that he can no longer get away from it. So every time it comes to a dangerous level, he backs off. Me and my husband is very open and honest on this topic. We discuss this openly and joke about it, so much so, that sometimes I feel curious and think that "what if" he does goes to bed with another woman. Will he still tell me about it? How will I react if he does? Angry? Jealous? I trust my husband will not do it in the first place. So whatever crazy wishful thinking I do, just like you, I know he won't do it. Thank God indeed, he's different.
@rappeter13 (5297)
• Romania
2 Aug 10
I think if you want to spice up your marriage you have to do some menage-a-trois first, then you and your husband go to a swinger club and switch dates. I guarantee that this will spice up your marriage a lot.;)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
I have watched that in the TV series OC. They, too have a perfect marriage and they feel that they can spice up their marriage by joining a swinger club. When they were already at the club, they both realized that they can't bear to see each other with another partner after all. Sometimes crazy thoughts do occur. It's normal. What's not normal, I guess, is if you allow these crazy thoughts to happen even if you know it's wrong. I'm not gonna let it happen, I guess. Thanks.
@hexeduser22 (5873)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
Are you sure you want that? If you want to spice up your married life then have an adventure together. Just the other day I watched the Tyra Banks show and I was surprised there are couples who would love to experience a threesome. I guess you can try that option first and see how will you react in that situation.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Threesome? Way out of my options...haha. Sorry. But another crazy thoughts...just for the sake of discussion...I want to watch him having s** with another woman. Just maybe a one night stand. Me watching... Just want to know how I will feel. Note: This is just another crazy thoughts. Not to be taken seriously... haha
1 person likes this
@agito121 (177)
• United Arab Emirates
2 Aug 10
WOW! haha, You'Crazy! But trust me don't do it, because you are just going to ruin a prefect marriage, Let's say that probably if your husband does cheat on you, and then suddenly he stops paying attention to you and is more attracted to the other lady, and i'm just saying, he might decide to get a divorce because he's in love again. So you see you are just inviting trouble on to your doorstep, If you do want to spice up your life why not just do..... 'Role Playing'? just a suggestion. Peace.
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
I'm not crazy...haha. Just crazy thoughts. Sometimes it occurs to everybody. But they're not going to take it seriously though. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@deve_annrn (1857)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
i didn't know that perfect husband exists...because in my family..i've seen my mother shouting at my father countless times..and i'm so sick of it... and i was shocked when i read this thread...i though my eyes was doing tricks on me... it's weird...really... why would you ask for something like that when most of the women out there are wishing for a perfect husband... i don't know what to say though..i'm just in plain shock....=)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Well, he wasn't really that perfect though. He has his own imperfections. There were also some irritating moments but never did I shout on him. If he was a perfect husband, I may have also been a perfect wife to him. That's what made the relationship very strong. It is just this perfection that made it boring. Sometimes, I think a storm must come to test how strong and deeply rooted a tree is to the ground. But on second thoughts, is it necessary?
1 person likes this
@attente (987)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
Just be thankful that he is your husband! haha! you're weird.. if you have a husband who would betray you and have an affair, you'll realize and wish that your husband is someone you can trust to.. :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
I like your comment. You're the only person who took this post lightly. It lightens everything up. Keep up that cheerful outlook. It was very nice of you. It was just a wishful thinking anyway. I wouldn't take it seriously, I suppose. Thanks. :)
1 person likes this
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
2 Aug 10
That's really, really unfortunate. You might bet bored but also could find hobbies, passions other than him to have excitment in your life. As he is perfect you should concentrate in other things. He is the dream of many women and because of that try to just be grateful.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
You're right. Thanks. Maybe I've just been watching too much movies lately...LOL. Or maybe I've been reading too much posts here lately about extra marital affairs, cheating and broken relationships... Thanks.
2 people like this