hurting someone else to gain your own happiness....
By sincerelyne
@sincerelyne (156)
Philippines
August 4, 2010 7:25pm CST
Hurting someone else to gain your own happiness, for example you are in a relationship and you feel unhappy through the years of your life with the person you are with, and somehow. it sudden comes to mind that, i want to be happy, i want to find happiness of my own, knowing that finding your own happiness, you will maybe hurting someone else.so how can it be a happiness if at your back someone is hurting? your kids?is it selfishness if in your heart you are looking for happiness of your own? thought that are bothering in mind through the years...
1 person likes this
8 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
5 Aug 10
Hi Sincerelyne,
I think that to be with someone when you are not truly happy with that person is just as hurtful to them as it is to you. Sure, if you break it off and move on then they will be hurt but they will be hurt by your honesty. In the long run both will be better off and will stand a chance of finding someone who can truly care and love them in return. As for the kids...they are so connected that they will feel your unhappiness no matter how you try to cover it. A happy parent is a better parent. Life is way to long to be lived miserably. We owe it to ourselves and to those we care about to strive to be positive and happy. That's how I feel about it anyway.
@sugarg1993 (1)
•
5 Aug 10
yes i believe that is true also,but my main beef with the whole thing is what if the other person is unhappy and goes looking else where and he is a married man , but doesnt bother to tell his wife he's unhappy until he finds someone new. Then decides to leave his wife and 2 kids behind and ends up not being happy there either. As they say the grass isn't always greener on the other side. and as for the kids...No matter how happy the parents may or may not be the kids still get hurt in the long run...I know mine have and its been almost 5 years since my husband left and they still feel the pain every day in many different ways. Every way from it effecting school to medical problems. And as a child from a broken home myself I know that the pain of a parent leaving will never fully leave you no mater how old you are. But thats just my thoughts.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
6 Aug 10
I do agree that the best way possible is for both parents to stick together and work together when kids are involved. Yes, the kids do end up getting hurt and more so when there is deciet and hard feelings between the parents. You husband was being selfish and thoughtless and he deserves whatever he gets out of the deal. You and your kids did not deserve that pain. Personally I think that most things can be worked out within a marriage and it is well worth the effort. Except for in cases of abuse I'm pretty sure the grass on the other side may be greener but it won't stay that way any more than it did on this side. I got divorced but my marriage had turned abusive and it was just the best thing for all of us. Yes, it does hurt the kids. It did mine too in many ways but in many other ways their lives were so much better than had I stayed. Lord only knows how it all would have played out but I don't think it'd of been pretty. Every situation is different. I do think had your husband been honest with you about what was making him unhappy that the two of you could have worked it out. If not, at least broken off on a more pleasant note. Waiting until another woman comes along is just screams of how lame he is.
@somedeepthoughts (42)
• India
8 Aug 10
It all depends on what actually gives you happiness....
For example, if for some happiness, you need to hurt someone, but then you feel guilty about it, and that guilt washes away that happiness, then its useless....
if on the other hand, you can enjoy that happiness guilt free, then its worth it. Of course, you will eventually lose the person that you are hurting, but if even that does not dampen your mood, then go ahead, be happy.........you need not care what judgement the world passes on you. You are here for yourself. Enjoy it....
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
8 Aug 10
I think that there are alot of people out there that are really unhappy that choose to stay in a marriage for the sake of their childrens happiness.Then there are the other people that tend to find happiness no matter who it hurts.I think that there are people that tend to have affairs rather than break up a relationship that they have been in for a long time.I know two people that are unhappy in their marriage,but they plod on thinking one day they will leave,but they will stay until the children are old enough and have left home,that way noone will get hurt as bad in their eyes.
@dptstretch (120)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Life is too short to be unhappy and I think it is necessary to hurt others at times to secure long term happiness. That doesn't necessarily mean leaving someone...it could mean finally facing the truth with someone you are in a relationship with...and if you are in a relationship with someone, shouldn't the truth be expected? If I gain every one of my goals and dreams and come home to an unhappy wife, what have I gained? That's a bad trade off...I want us both to be happy.
@babz02 (250)
• Philippines
5 Aug 10
It is but normal for a person to sought after happiness. But if entails hurting someone else on the process, it is a selfish act that never result in true happiness. If the means does not justify the end, it will not give you peace or happiness. You can only be happy if your free of guilt, sorrow and pain. =))
@BStuff (495)
• United States
5 Aug 10
I know a lot of selfish people. I wouldnt say thinking of yourself first is a bad thing. I mean you need to think of yourself but when you purposely use another persons emotions its just sad. I think karma will come back to bite a person in the bum if they arent watching their back. I know I have used people in the past and I am now older and wiser so I try to move past that part in my life.
@edwardjoy2000 (2387)
• United Arab Emirates
5 Aug 10
I know that the worst thing to do. I would never even dream of it. What do we gain by hurting someone to gain our happiness. I know its a moments pleasure. But down the years you will feel guilty and regret it. Its is said, what goes round comes round. When you do duch a thing you should also rememeber that the same thing will happen to you.
