my new boyfriend is 10 year younger then me

Hong Kong
August 13, 2010 9:24pm CST
hi, I am 33 now, and recently have a bf who is almost 10 year younger then me. I can see that we both like each other, however for the age issue, I am thinking should I give up this relationship? It just starts a week long, and we knows each other almost for 3 yrs long, more closely this few months. Also, I am a Chinese girl, I don't think in my society is that usual to have a bf which is younger then girl, esp. more then a few yrs old. Would like to share all your opinion : )
3 people like this
26 responses
@hotpink89 (134)
• United States
17 Aug 10
well first off age is just a number, yet if this is something that bothers you then you should just give up, unless if you don't have strong feelings for him. but overall. do you think this is worth it to stay with him? you need to ask yourself serious questions that should equal to your happiness. you already made that choice to get to know him and i know for a fact you knew the age difference the first time you knew him so the question is, does he make you happy?
1 person likes this
@Baluyadav (3644)
• India
14 Aug 10
hi,yus,this question you might have put your self before fall into friendship..now after became close to him,why you are getting doubt,don't you know this early.So go with your own stand.All the best and have a nice time.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
14 Aug 10
10 years seems a wide age gape for you but people say love is blind. If both of you have fallen in love, need each other, understand each other and accept each other , I think that you just continue your relationship.
• Hong Kong
14 Aug 10
Thank you for your sharing. I know my bf is a good guy, take care me and like me much. But I am still scary to discuss with him about our age issue. Obviously, he knows I am older then him, but so far he didn't ask how old am I, I haven't ask his age either. The problem is, might be he didn't know I am older then him almost 10 year ( I guess ) this is because I look pretty younger then my age. I really wanna to continue the relationship, but I am worry I will be hurt more seriously.
1 person likes this
• China
14 Aug 10
dear plz dont'ignore the problem, so does your bf.I think both you should talk seriously once.make everything clearly. you can't live with you only two,but the two families,even the whole society.every one has responsiblity.
• United States
18 Aug 10
I agree
@artistry (4154)
• United States
14 Aug 10
....Hi there yusyus, If you are lucky or blessed enough to meet someone who you connect with, who you can communicate with and who cares for you as you care for them, age, as long as they are over 21 should not be such a factor. Society has put boundaries on some relationships. Live your life. In fact there is a thought that women should be older than their partners because men die sooner than women, about eight years earlier if the same age. So enjoy your relationship as long as it works. You go through life once. If age is such a good barometer for relationships, then why with most men being older than women in the US when marrying, do we have an over 50% divorce rate? Be happy as long as it works. Take good care. By the way when I was younger even now, younger men and I got along fine. It's the two people not the two numbers. "o)
@artistry (4154)
• United States
14 Aug 10
...By the way, welcome to the ranch, enjoy. It's a nice place to meet new friends.
• Hong Kong
15 Aug 10
Thank you very much for your nice reply. This morning I found out he is 25, and I am 33, eight years difference. I am quite happy to know that he wrote me ' why man can older than woman, but not woman older then man.' After he found out my age, he seems not give up the relationship either.
• United States
17 Aug 10
Hello Yusyus, I think that if you have found someone that you think is "for you" at this time in your life, and the feelings are mutual; then you should pursue that person. Age shouldn't be a major factor when dealing with matters of the heart. I really think you should get with him and discuss how you feel as well as how he feels, so you'll know where you stand. I am a firm believer in the saying "Communication is the key in any relationship (personal or professional)", so you guys should just be open with each other to make sure you are on the same page. Since you've known each other for 3 years, you already have a foundation upon which you've developed feelings (whether good or bad). I think you should use this to take the relationship to the next level or just remain really good friends. Good Luck!!!
• Hong Kong
22 Aug 10
really like your quote "Communication is the key in any relationship... thank you for your sharing!
@prudent (314)
• India
17 Aug 10
Why should you give up the relationship when you like each other. If you feel that you can understand each other the relationship should be kept on. The issue is not of age but of the society and its perspective. We should try to overcome these challenges. However, it depends upon both of you and your feelings for each other. Listen to your heart. Best of luck.
• Hong Kong
22 Aug 10
Thanks for you nice reply! I quite agree some of your views =)
@koditza (235)
• Germany
15 Aug 10
well, 10 years is quite significant. but hey, if there is true love, there should be no problem :) look at celebrities such as ashton kutcher & demi moore :)
• Hong Kong
15 Aug 10
Thanks for your reply, and the info. ref. : ) Feeling better now, bcoz only 8 years difference finally :P
• Philippines
14 Aug 10
hello yusyus! may-december affairs are quite common and it does not really matter if you really love each other deeply. what's important is that despite the age gap, you understand each other, and are willing to go beyond age-tendencies action. look at demi more and her husband ashton, despite the 15 year gap, they are still going on strong after 5 years of marriage. aston is 32 and demi is 47, what can you say to that? so don't worry, take heart and age really don't matter if you will not let it matter in your relationship.
• Hong Kong
14 Aug 10
Thank for your sharing. I just sent him a sms "hi, just wonder if you know how old am I? do you know I am older then u a lot?" my good friend said that if he care about this, then I should forget him.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Jan 11
No. Don't give it up. Age doesn't matter as long as you love each other. Don't mind what others are telling about your relationship. There's nothing wrong? No matter how big the age gap is. He loves you, you love him then you shouldn't let each other go. :) It only proves that you love each other because despite of the age, both of you are loves each.
20 Jan 11
Hi Age don't matter in the relationship but atleast you should before proceeding further. Get sure that your partner is mature enough to take the decision in future along with you.
@SIMPLYD (86380)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
May-December affair, as a younger man -older woman relationship is called, is nowadays common. I for one, is older than my husband for 6 six years, but we love each under unconditionally and we now have a teener for our daughter. What is important is the both of you truly understand each other, respect each other and love each other much. Age doesn't matter as the saying goes.
• India
14 Jan 11
Welcome to mylot Well age is certainly a factor, in my family the wives are younger than the hubbys.I was married in 1968, i was 23, my wife was 16, my brother, my sons are 7-10 years older than their wives, my daughter is 8 years younger than her hubby Now a days girls and guys in same job marry, kind of love marriage, they are same age, many are happy, but some not, they probably did all post marriage things, before marriage, no charm left.. Thank you so much for this post. Professor ‘Bhuwan’. . HAPPY MAKAR SANKRANTI, Happy PONGAL
• United States
22 Aug 10
I do not feel that age is the factor here or the problem. I was married to a man who was ten years my elder and oh my goodness it was as if I was his mother. The way I see it the age is not what you have to worry about, you do however have to worry about whether or not he is mature to full fill all the responsibilities that come with being in a relationship. Immature younger men with an older woman basically you would have to always have to be in control and the lead, if you are okay with that then I suppose it would work, that is if you prefer to always be the nurturing kind. Although it can fun at times it also is a great deal of work. Good luck with this hope all works.
@adhyz82 (36262)
• Indonesia
18 Aug 10
i think you must think deeply and ask your heart that you really love him or not...love him by true love or passion
@Metalchick (1387)
17 Aug 10
I really don't see a problem with this as long as your partner makes you happy then that's all that matters. I have a similar situation going on with one of my work colleagues. She's 38 and she is in a relationship with a 21 year old. They don't seem to have too many issues about age and I haven't seen her this happy in a long time. I suggest you stick with it and if it doesn't work out the it doesn't but just have a go...You've nothing to lose and it might just work out.
@akopoaysi (740)
• Philippines
17 Aug 10
well the society may say it is not good. but you cant let society dictates what you want to do. as long as you are happy and you dont hurt anyone then i think it is fine.
@loveaan3 (35)
• China
15 Aug 10
wow there are so many chinese here!i has lots of worlds to say you but i can not say english veyr well.could you add my QQ? 1299018568?maybe i can help you!:)
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
15 Aug 10
Keep him and 10 years really isn't that bad. My friend her husband was 7 year younger then her. They were married Oh my years until he passed away. So yes if you Love him and he loves you then why not? You Love him don't you? I hope you stay with him as it really doesn't matter what we think it is what you think and feel that is right. It is your heart and no one else's. Not your parents heart. Your heart and if beats for him then good for you. Have a great day.
• Philippines
15 Aug 10
if hes really nice and takes care of you then trust your instinct.. you can keep him and go on with your relationship. age wont matter it depends on the intentions of a person. if his intention for both of u is good then theres nothing wrong with it as long as you guys both happy.
• United States
15 Aug 10
I don't think age makes that much of a difference. My grandparents are 15 years age difference and my grandma is older than my grandpa. If you really love each other you can make it work for you. It may not be usual in China for this type of relationship but I am sure that there are exceptions to the rule.