Why do people change themselves for different people?
@Flirtykumquat (927)
United States
August 23, 2010 3:07pm CST
Well, I was having a discussion with my friend who acts one way with a certain group of people and then acts totally different around another group. Shouldn't you act the same around everyone? Is that person going to be considered fake because they are acting different? What do you think?
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2 people like this
4 responses
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
23 Aug 10
Yes, I would consider that being fake somewhat. Depends to what degree she changes because sometimes you are simply reacting to the people that are around you. So long as her opinion on things isn't what is changing then it isn't fake.
It is like a bilingual person...they speak a different language to each different language group. If that is all it is, it isn't fake.
So, hard to tell without more specific details.
@Flirtykumquat (927)
• United States
23 Aug 10
I understand what your saying but like for someone that hangs around different crowd of different personalties. Like think about high school and how they have all different groups, what if you were able to to "fit" into all of them. Since each group is different does that mean that the person is being fake?
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
24 Aug 10
Some people are just so easy going that they do get along with everyone. My husband is a perfect example. He isn't fake or phoney, he is just accomodating and generous which makes him attractive to most everyone. He is just one of those "nice guys", if you know what I mean?
But some people are fake, too. Those are usually the people that want to hang out with the 'cool' crowd and pretend they are someone else to fit in. Those people don't get along with every crowd, they shun the 'real' people in favour of the 'cool' people. So, they make enemies.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
23 Aug 10
That person is fake for acting that way. I know a lot of people who do this however and it does upset me. I act the same way no matter what at work, at home, with my family or with my friends. Of course we all have some people we hang around that we are more comfortable with and others we might be shy around but your core personality will stay the same. I am one of those brutally honest people and don't like people who are not acting themselves.
@Flirtykumquat (927)
• United States
23 Aug 10
I totally understand what you mean by acting shy in front of others but still being yourself. I guess it depends on the person. I think some people find it difficult to continue to be themselves around different groups so they try to adapt to the person that they think that group will identify with.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
23 Aug 10
I think it depends on the change.
Different people sometimes bring out different parts of you. It could be a girl who likes to party, drink, joke and laugh when she is with one group of friends and likes to have serious conversations and talk about problems when she is with another group of friends. I don't think is fake, she acts differently, but both sides are a part of her personality. If a person is shy she might also act differently around different people (for instanse talk more or talk less), but I wouldn't call that fake either.
If a person changes her opinions when she changes her group of friends in order to fit in that is different thing, and I would call that fake, because she is not honest and she tries to please everyone.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
27 Aug 10
I think there are actually people who are like that by nature. Individuals who adapt to personalities of people they are around. I think it is a self-confidence issue. They are lacking in personality, so they try to emulate the people they are with.
Remember Julia Robert's character in 'Runaway Bride'?
Of course some people take it to another level and become really annoying.
