what will u do when your current boyfriend become your best friend's boyfriend??

China
August 31, 2010 10:58am CST
I am not sure whether it's suitable or not to talk about this topic here. But I wonder what's your opinions concerning this? He tells me to accept this peacefully. And he also texts me that she says no firstly. Becasue she thought it would hurt or upset me if they two get together. and at last, he tells me that she takes me as her best friend..... I just feel like an idiot totally... How ironic this is... I dont what to do... Am I missing something that secretly happens between them??? Now they go hands in hands whenever, whatever and whereever.... I find I just cant make friends with them any longer... I cant get over him... If you were me, what will do? Or how will you deal with this???
2 people like this
15 responses
• United States
31 Aug 10
It is the obvious this supposed best friend was no friend indeed. You have to be rid not only the boyfriend but the girl as well. As she crossed the lines as a best friend should never be told that your boyfriend is tabu for her. A best friend cares about us and plain and simple she is no friend at all. , unfortunately karma is a bad thing and one day she too will get exactly what she has done. As I live by these words You reap what you sow.
• Canada
31 Aug 10
I agree with that as I had something similar happen to me...But in my case it was a friend who went to school with my sister and she married my ex lol...
• China
1 Sep 10
Agree with you in some degree. But I can do this to them. The most positive thing I can do is smile and cry inside. Time will heal this. I still hope they will be happy and keep a long relationship.. Thank you. What goes around comes around. good luck!!
• Philippines
1 Sep 10
People do crazy things when they're in love. I assume your best friend is head over heels in love with your current boyfriend (i guess not anymore) that she totally forgot that you're her bestfriend. I know it really hurts but the question is, would you do the same thing if you were in your bestfriend's position?
• China
2 Sep 10
It is very hard for me to make any choices like this. But I believe some lines I will never cross. Hope I will never encounter this in the future... Thank you.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
1 Sep 10
I did not get you perfectly in this situation. so you were saying that your boyfriend (now your ex- otherwise they would be cheating on you) is together with your best friend (or someone who presumably acts and thinks that she is your best friend?). Well obviously you still care about this guy... but my take is that do not let them see how affected you were. I understand you still have feelings for this guy but the thing is, they have gotten together when you and your bf broke up. I would eve suggest that you cut ties with your friend, bestfriend when they have cheated on you. so that is what confuses me here.. coz you said "current" boyfriend.
• China
1 Sep 10
this "current" exists in the past, but at that time, she had the idea that the guy and I were together. and Now, they two are together. maybe I should let go, coz I can do nothing but let go.. I just cant believe things are going so fast. It's too soon to make a response. Esp. when the guy told me that she said I were her best friend.... Anyway, thank you.
• India
31 Aug 10
Well the same thing happened to me when my girlfriend dumped me to be my friend's girlfriend. However as i truly loved her i just wanted her to be happy wherever she was no matter. However i did have some jealousy moments watching them cuddle together or kiss but i have grown used to it. Sometimes i think she does it purposely to taunt me. So i kept distance between them. At first my friend and me had a few arguments but later i learned to move on as she had also moved on so i just want to see hoe long can she really carry this relationship. I care about my friend now and not his girlfriend or to say my ex girlfriend! Cheers!
• China
1 Sep 10
Thank you for your sharing. I will learn to accustom to the current situation. At first, I am very very blue about this. I even doubted my values of friend or love... then, I find that there nothing could I do to make any changes about the reality. .. So I push myself to let go and move on.. maybe the next is better.. right now, extremely enjoying the totally self life. :)
@jhyan007 (467)
• Philippines
1 Sep 10
...i have a friend with the same situation and I said to myself "how can he cope with this situation?"...the same goes to you...if you can't get over him, then it would be best to give time to yourself and put some distance between you and them for a while until such time that you are fully recovered and can accept this fact with open-mind. it is painful, yes, but there is nothing more you can do but to accept the fact that your bf is not your best friend's bf...stay strong..i'm sure you can make it...learn to love yourself more and give more time to yourself...
@cathloe (184)
• Philippines
1 Sep 10
is she really your bestfriend?? as a rule, friends should not take their friend's bf/gf for this will just make a problem or disaster on the friendship you two have. if she really is your bestfriend, she should not accepted your ex-boyfriend's proposal. but since she had accepted it, it just shows that she does not care for your feelings as your bestfriend. and as for your ex-boyfriend, he offers you to be his bestfriend??is that right? this only says that he does not want to lose you or to make you feel bad even though he is doing it anyway. the best way to do, i think, is to go on with your life. just think of positive thoughts and don't let yourself be affected for the things they did. there's always somebody out there waiting for you, all you have to do is face the facts and keep moving forward. and don't forget to smile =) best of luck n_n
1 Sep 10
If I were you, I would stay away from your best friend and from your ex-boyfriend. Your ex having relationship with your best friend is just too much, considering the fact that she is your BEST friend. I would cut any form of ties with her and probably look for a better best friend who can really be a true friend. In any case, I know that it really hurts, but keep your cool. He is not the last man in the planet. I guess this has worked better for you because now you know that your man is not loyal and faithful to you, as well as your best friend. Cheers!
@rmnrmn (583)
• India
1 Sep 10
If your best friend knows that her current boyfriend is your boyfriend before, why she accept his proposal. Your best friend is not caring about you as well as your boyfriend too. This guy who was your boy friend and now your best pal's boy friend is a cheater. I am sure he will left your best friend too in future. You should let ypur best friend knows about this fact that the guy is cheating both of you girls.
@fherfher (259)
• Philippines
1 Sep 10
If i were you, stay away from them until the time comes that you don't have any feeling for your x. Give time for yourself to heal. The more you see them together, the more you feel like your heart stabbed many times. Staying away doesn't mean the end of friendship. But it is your right to move on and meet the right person who can help you to be happy.
@Sanitary (3969)
• Singapore
1 Sep 10
I will surely go mad, and be so sad!! I won't be able to accept the fact that both of them can actually end up together. I will not bother to even think why that's happening, as the first impression will be, both of them betrayed me, betrayed my trust and feelings in them. NO matter what, if they really want to be together, it has got to be after a proper break up, but never in the postion of a 3rd party. It's just too unfair to me.
@Rierin (43)
• Malaysia
31 Aug 10
That truly hurt. To be betray by friends hurt me most from my past experience. If it was me, I will distance from them especially my friend. I mean x-friend. In friendship especially best friend we always share story,secret. They should be the one most understand how we feel too.I just can't accept a friend that so close and we trust with every secret and story between us and our boyfriend, she use that to get close to our boyfriend. I didn't say boy it's not guilty. But my personal feeling, it hurt more betray by best friend.
@BlueAngelRS (2900)
• Canada
31 Aug 10
A best friend doesn't do that to their friends.....I would just back away from the situation and do what is best for you....I had something similar happen my sons father went out and married someone who was a close friend of mine and went to school with my sister and they now have a child and he did however come back to me and we had another child but the friendship between this girl and I will never be the same I find her to be the most fake friend around....I am just being civil with her because of my kids.
@Suggar (3612)
• Bulgaria
31 Aug 10
That's really bad situation. I would stop my friendship with the guy, first. First of all, i don't stay in touch with my guys, when we break up. This is one of my old habits, because i am a person, who get used to the current relationship. And if i want to move on with my life, first i have to clean my soul of all the past i had. And may be the second thing i would do is to stay away of the best friend. :)May be for a while, or for longer.... that depends of my feelings. But i'm sure that will help me to stay calm and to get over the situation. Time helps for everything Just stay calm and move on in your life. Soon you will see that there is nothing you have to be sorry about.
• India
31 Aug 10
I'd have start dating with your boyfriend's best friend and if that doesn't work then I'd have looked for a guy who is all supirior to my past boyfriend.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
31 Aug 10
This can definitely put a strain on the relationship you have with your bestfriend. I know it would if it were me. i don't think I could spoend as much time as with my best friend as i would like to. i would feel uncomfortable if i had to spend time with my best friend and my ex-boyfriend. it would just be difficult to cope with feelings of the past and present.